Alone and day 1.

[jibi07]

The hardest thing is fighting an addiction alone.... I have been taking perks... about 40 a day, for almost 2 years, and hiding it from everyone... I gave it up last summer for 17 days... the withdrawl was hell, pure hell, i swore i'd never go through that again... that was 5 months ago, yup been taking them pretty steady for the last 5 months again.... when i stopped for my 17 days i treated myself to a skydive, a celebration, something i wanted to do for a long time..... cravings got too much to deal with after that... here i am again... today is day 1.... the withdrawl is not as bad this time, no sweats, yet, not as lathargic, but having some pain in what feels like the kidney area... feeling really sorry for myself.... dont know what to do, dont know who to talk to..... wow, am i even making any sense??? Dont want to tell my husband, afraid of the consequences..... sister knows, dad knows, but they are addicts too so a lot of good that does me, haha... just dont know what to do, have already lost so much!! So sad!!!

[jibi07]

Hi Katya... thanks so very much... the same is for me, the WD is not as bad this time, except for the lack of sleep and RLS... otherwise i'm not too bad. Did you do the Tandem dive? thats what i did and will do that one again this year, i can't wait. Your right, if we are brave enough to do that, and my god it was scarey lol then we can do this right... this should be a breezy in comparison! Thanks again... hugs back!!

[Katya5555]

Hi jibi07,
I'm Katya. I just posted a scene similar to yours. Lets try and get through this together. I went skydiving too! After a break up. Went twice actually, loved it. I we have the kind of guts that can skydive thinking it's a blast, then we should certainly have the cojones (or something) to brave this fight against these stupid drugs. I had a huge habit too. Only be relapsing a little since X-mas, so maybe w/d won't be super bad. Haha. Anyways, stick with me and maybe we can both make it out of this mess together. It can be done.
Hugs, Katya

[jibi07]

actually my anxiety is at a low, it's also not as bad this time... but i'm going one minute at a time.... keeping busy at work, which is also good, but it's so hard pretending at work that everything is fine and dandy when i'm feeling this way.... i feel like a fraud!

[conhall]

Just stay positive and remember when anxiety hits It does pass! Just take it day by day U can do this!

[jibi07]

hi con, no not really, i went to bed at 10, fell asleep at around midnight, woke up at 420, been awake since, ugh, working a 12 hour shift today, so i'm really exhausted right now and it's only 930, i'm here till 830 tonight..... hoping to sleep tonight... *fingers crossed* my legs were drivng me nuts, nothing helped!! :-( otherwise, i'm not doing too bad! :-)

[conhall]

how was your night  did you get some sleep ?