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Any advice for emotional speedbumps? (day 4 off 12 10/325 hydrocodone a day
Hello to all reading, First off I would like to thank any and everybody for even taking the time to click on the links that sent you to my question/post.I will start by informing you all that I am a 25 year old man from San Antonio t.x and for the past year I have been recreationally taking anywhere from 8-12 of the 10/325 Hydrocodones a day. It all started out with taking two, smoking some pot and enjoying the euphoric buzz..Slowly but surely it turned into much more...A few big changes took place for me between the year 2013-2014...I Entered a serious relationship in which I started living with my girlfriend, I picked up in what my opinion is a serious red flag and most importantly I found out around four months ago that my lovely girlfriend and I have a baby blessing on the way due this april! Well today is october 19th 2014 and since thursday (4 days back) I have yet to take any medication at all....I have started thinking about the future and what is best for my baby and family....I overall have a happy feeling in knowing that i have made the right decision for the long run, in addition to this I also have a fairly strong craving for that hydrocodone buzz I was so used to getting,....so much that I subconsiously have the feeling that My girlfriend,co-workers and family can tell that I am not acting myself....Although I am doing my best to engage in what I feel is a normal life I also feel that me thinking anybody can tell Im craving is just all in my mind. Perhaps in reality the only thing that has actually changed is my drug addiction itself...not so much others being able to sense my mood swings and craving.......Although I am aware that I need to not worry so much about what others think about me its only natural to have the urge to have an attractive personality to your loved ones in your every day life...FAMILY...I will go ahead and bring my question to a conclusion with high hopes somebody somewhere will come across my page with experience or advice in this situation and leave me some knowledge.....If reading my question/post had any grey areas I will do my best to paraphrase my questions..1.)DO people around me sense that my overall mood has been a bit different? 2.) in theory, will my cravings cease over time and if so approximately how long? 3.) what to expect from this fourth day of sobriety and for the next few days,weeks, months?? I thank You personally for reading my text! you know who you are! I have been staying strong for my family and putting the needs of them before my personal demons....who knows?Maybe the demons are lifting as I speak? THANK YOU--sincerely, CCTX361DKL
Hey New Guy-
No shame in a relapse but you gotta get back on the horse. This is why aftercare is a NECESSITY. Seriously dude, this drug addiction thing is a one way ticket to hell and beyond. You need to arrest it at put it in hand cuffs. You do this by humbling yourself and asking for HELP. Not just here, but in your real life with the people that love you. Addiction is NOTHING to be ashamed of. It is completely non-discriminatory and affects people of all ages and socio-economic backgrounds. It is also deadly if not arrested. I've seen so many people die of addiction. And it almost always happens in a relapse. When you detox you purge your body of the drugs. When you then go back to using what you were before, or add alcohol or other drugs in the mix, it can kill you. I know it's scary but it's true. And those of us that have been around here for awhile have seen it happening. It's deadly.
Please give some thought to coming clean to those that love you. When you speak truth, you become accountable. This is a safe guard for keeping clean. You can go and sit in a room full of addicts who understand completely and do not judge in NA/AA, SMART recovery, Celebrate Recovery. You can seek one on one drug counseling or CBT. You must do whatever it takes to get and stay clean because your life depends on it.
And because you are worth it.
It's hard in your twenties because everybody parties. It's a fine line between recreational and addiction and the jump from partying to heavy using happens quickly.
We will all root for you here, but you need to take some serious steps and end it now. Just think about it. okay?
Bless,
Lu
No shame in a relapse but you gotta get back on the horse. This is why aftercare is a NECESSITY. Seriously dude, this drug addiction thing is a one way ticket to hell and beyond. You need to arrest it at put it in hand cuffs. You do this by humbling yourself and asking for HELP. Not just here, but in your real life with the people that love you. Addiction is NOTHING to be ashamed of. It is completely non-discriminatory and affects people of all ages and socio-economic backgrounds. It is also deadly if not arrested. I've seen so many people die of addiction. And it almost always happens in a relapse. When you detox you purge your body of the drugs. When you then go back to using what you were before, or add alcohol or other drugs in the mix, it can kill you. I know it's scary but it's true. And those of us that have been around here for awhile have seen it happening. It's deadly.
Please give some thought to coming clean to those that love you. When you speak truth, you become accountable. This is a safe guard for keeping clean. You can go and sit in a room full of addicts who understand completely and do not judge in NA/AA, SMART recovery, Celebrate Recovery. You can seek one on one drug counseling or CBT. You must do whatever it takes to get and stay clean because your life depends on it.
And because you are worth it.
It's hard in your twenties because everybody parties. It's a fine line between recreational and addiction and the jump from partying to heavy using happens quickly.
We will all root for you here, but you need to take some serious steps and end it now. Just think about it. okay?
Bless,
Lu
Ha ha, Ms. Delight- an infectious disease, good one (tell your dealers you have ebola!)
CCTX- I am going to a meeting but I will write more later. Just wanted to echo what Ms. Delight says: of course there's hope for you!!! There is only one time when there is no hope: that's when your dead. Don't be so hard on yourself.
How many pills do you have in your possession? We ALL would take em if we had em in front of us. That's your first step: getting rid of those demons. Tell us the specifics of today and we can help you:)
We were all where you are: and we got thru it! You can too:)
CCTX- I am going to a meeting but I will write more later. Just wanted to echo what Ms. Delight says: of course there's hope for you!!! There is only one time when there is no hope: that's when your dead. Don't be so hard on yourself.
How many pills do you have in your possession? We ALL would take em if we had em in front of us. That's your first step: getting rid of those demons. Tell us the specifics of today and we can help you:)
We were all where you are: and we got thru it! You can too:)
Hey cctx hi there and welcome to the forum. You may have relapsed but that does not mean there is no hope for you. You are young and strong , you only used for a year and hydro, while not the most pleasant withdrawal, is not the worst detox you can go through. You have lots of motivation here. A great relationship, a brand new son or daughter, starting your life. These are the things you should be doing at this age. Its a wonderful time of life and I'm sure you don't want to ruin it. You're going to need every penny you've been spending on pills. You and your gf will need to work as a team and be fully there for each other physically and emotionally. A lot is at stake. You gotta be the captain of the team.
I'm going to wager that you relapsed because you either had pills left in the house "just in case " and/or have not cut your sources. You must delete all your connections and block them from phone, texts, emails and social media. Tell the ones who come by you have an infectious disease lol. Flush the stash. Having any access to pills right now is setting yourself up for failure. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and let's do this! I know you have it in you.
I'm going to wager that you relapsed because you either had pills left in the house "just in case " and/or have not cut your sources. You must delete all your connections and block them from phone, texts, emails and social media. Tell the ones who come by you have an infectious disease lol. Flush the stash. Having any access to pills right now is setting yourself up for failure. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and let's do this! I know you have it in you.
SPIDER,NEVERAGAIN and JIFMOC! its me again cctx and I just now got the oppurtunity to open up my account and check for postings...I first and foremost want to thank all three of you folks for taking time to read my post...the fact that you all took some type of interest made my entire day! I must admit that I did however relapse both last night and today...I feel bad about it and in addition to feeling bad I am taking it as a stepping stone in the learning process...In NO way shape or form am I making excuses for my actions and definitely do NOT want to be frowned upon or automatically judged for such a quick relapse....I relapsed my 5th night sober and must say along with feeling the hydrocodone buzz i was craving I also feel like I got intouch with my inner being and realized that perhaps relapse is ok....not so much ok as in wanting to do it again but more so learning that nothing comes easy...I understand that perhaps all 3 of you reading that I did relapse may or may not have you all leaving no hope for me and thats ok....I just cant stress enough how sorry I am to myself...the worst part is that although I dont ever want to do it again I more importantly feel the chances are 50-50...Im high right at this very moment at the school in the lab...I feel as if I may start crying due to my emotions however I just needed to get it out....*SPIDER* I thank you very much for such kind words/actual advice and will positively stay up to date with this site and this thread...**JIFMOC**I must admit that your response hit home with me, after all my thinking about the change I want to bring for myself the thought of how many pills in how much time never crossed my mind,until YOU...that alone opened my eyes upon checking my post today. THANKYOU..***NEVERAGAIN127***its almost as if you took the words right out of my mouth,I couldnt tell you how much you seeing something positive makes me feel about my overall self esteem..ITs people like you who i enjoy keeping around in my personal life. THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU for your kind words and thankyou for seeing more to me than just a recreational pill taking mid 20's man...I HOPE TO HEAR FROM ALL OF YOU SOONNNN! thankyou all again --sincerely, CCTX( the new guy)
Hiya, CCT. Good honest post. I'm glad something (in this case baby!) woke you up to your addiction. I don't wanna scare you, just wanna be honest: 8 to 12 per day is exactly what I was taking...at the END of my addiction. It took me 8 years to get there. Meaning, if you've been taking that amt only after a year, if you keep going you are heading for a quick sleigh ride into hell (as mentioned above.) By hell I mean, selling all your possessions, getting fired, getting evicted, having your baby taken away from you and then jail or death.
It's great that you just stopped (withdrawl help is on this forum, under the Thomas recipe) but, we can never just stop, if we could there would be no addicts. You need tons o' support. Aftercare (joining program: meetings etc.) There is lots of issue under our addiction and that's where the real work comes in. It's relatively easy to stop. Staying stopped is the hard part.
Please keep posting. Oh, and yes, tell everyone (especially your GF) our secrets keep us sick.
Hiya, CCT. Good honest post. I'm glad something (in this case baby!) woke you up to your addiction. I don't wanna scare you, just wanna be honest: 8 to 12 per day is exactly what I was taking...at the END of my addiction. It took me 8 years to get there. Meaning, if you've been taking that amt only after a year, if you keep going you are heading for a quick sleigh ride into hell (as mentioned above.) By hell I mean, selling all your possessions, getting fired, getting evicted, having your baby taken away from you and then jail or death.
It's great that you just stopped (withdrawl help is on this forum, under the Thomas recipe) but, we can never just stop, if we could there would be no addicts. You need tons o' support. Aftercare (joining program: meetings etc.) There is lots of issue under our addiction and that's where the real work comes in. It's relatively easy to stop. Staying stopped is the hard part.
Please keep posting. Oh, and yes, tell everyone (especially your GF) our secrets keep us sick.
It's great that you just stopped (withdrawl help is on this forum, under the Thomas recipe) but, we can never just stop, if we could there would be no addicts. You need tons o' support. Aftercare (joining program: meetings etc.) There is lots of issue under our addiction and that's where the real work comes in. It's relatively easy to stop. Staying stopped is the hard part.
Please keep posting. Oh, and yes, tell everyone (especially your GF) our secrets keep us sick.
Welcome honey.
I don't know if your family/friends can tell if your personality has changed. The mere fact that you're wondering about it tells me that they probably have noticed.
Listen..you're gonna be a Daddy. And I can tell you want to be a clean and sober one...you're making such a wise and mature choice to get off these awful drugs. Opiates are a one-way ticket to he.l.l; and you were using them to get high. That is a REALLY dangerous and slippery path to go down. So I'm glad you're choosing to HALT it right now.
Only you can decide if you want to tell your loved ones, but I agree with spider that it is a good idea to come clean with them. There is a saying "you are as sick as your secrets." And you'll feel better being honest. Trust me, you will.
Spider is right...it will feel like a bad flu for a couple of weeks,and yes, the cravings will decrease, but you might want to think about joining a group or getting some therapy to help you deal with all of this.
Good luck, little one.. You have your whole life in front of you. Take it from an old hippie chic...you don't want drugs to be a part of your life. It's a bad path and it never ends well...
Take care...
I don't know if your family/friends can tell if your personality has changed. The mere fact that you're wondering about it tells me that they probably have noticed.
Listen..you're gonna be a Daddy. And I can tell you want to be a clean and sober one...you're making such a wise and mature choice to get off these awful drugs. Opiates are a one-way ticket to he.l.l; and you were using them to get high. That is a REALLY dangerous and slippery path to go down. So I'm glad you're choosing to HALT it right now.
Only you can decide if you want to tell your loved ones, but I agree with spider that it is a good idea to come clean with them. There is a saying "you are as sick as your secrets." And you'll feel better being honest. Trust me, you will.
Spider is right...it will feel like a bad flu for a couple of weeks,and yes, the cravings will decrease, but you might want to think about joining a group or getting some therapy to help you deal with all of this.
Good luck, little one.. You have your whole life in front of you. Take it from an old hippie chic...you don't want drugs to be a part of your life. It's a bad path and it never ends well...
Take care...
Hey doll, welcome. Firstly, people noticing how different you may be acting, May or may not be a thing. If they've never had an inkling about your issue, there's no reason for them to suspect whet really is going on......but....IMO, let it all hang out.......you've got a better chance at kicking this. Yes your cravings will decrease in time...how much time depends on your stats,...your overall health, how long you've been using, how much, emotional state, aftercare in line, etc., what to expect for most is flu like symptoms, you can do that right? The real work comes in a couple of weeks when you've detoxed and now it's all a head game. So glad you posted bud, you're going to get tons of support here. Keep posting and reading and asking questions,?..check out Thomas recipe at bottom of page....hugs peace
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