Any good N/A 12 step books????

[readytoquit184]

Ok so my roommate comes bak from Vegas tomorrow and I have to put a smile on my face and pretend nothing is wrong with me!!! Here's the thing, I have a toddler and no help with him either so in case I can't make it to support groups and only have you guys can you PLEASE recommend GOOD books to help me through this??? I hate being so physically alone through this process. Guess that is what happens when my life was a lie and only me, my dr, and suppliers knew about my sickness this time!!! Seeing as I moved 12 hours away from all suppliers and my dr I tried calling them just to talk but they are all still bestows with their addictions and don't want to hear me talk.... They keep saying they will call me back after letting me talk a couple min then don't call back. It makes me smile when I can say it out loud so I've called them back a few times with same result. I give up now. Did it to myself.

[readytoquit184]

I subscribed to the daily devotional and looked up both books suggested. Going to order one after sleeping ( or trying to sleep) on which one to get! :-)

[ActingBrandNew]

"A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps" By: Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

[pill_Deamons]

Yeah I know what you mean i haven't really mourned my mom either hell I haven't even been back to the wall she had got put in to see her. I guess I couldn't and didn't want to face it and just popping a pill made it seem like all was okay. I cried like 5 minutes when it happened then I broke down for about 10 minutes hard core after carrying the casket in my uncles arms. I would of been fine if he did not grab me and hug me right after but that made me lose it maybe it is what i needed at the time.


TY for the congrats on the 4th day it has been a okay day so far just very very slow for some reason feels like I woke up like  20 hours ago all though it has been only about 6 hours. I can't complain about that too much if that is my number one issue as of now. For the last two days I was sooo bored and losing my mind bad but that has gone and not a issue any more at the time.

[readytoquit184]

Congratulations on 4 days!! Its nice to know someone can relate. I told my mom things I'd never tell another living soul and once she passed I was lost. I relapsed and never mourned her. I am mourning her now, 6 days sober, and it is hurting. I am here if you want to talk. I know I need someone to talk to most of the time so far.

[pill_Deamons]

OMG wow I relapsed a year after being clean because of my mom being so ill and passing away in the hospital also that was only 3 months ago then breaking my knee just made it that much easier to get more pills to keep me taking them. crazy how a small BUT BIG thing in youre life can make you relapse or use even more to run from it. I was/am a BIG mommas boy and I am sober of 4 days and still trying to deal with my mom gone it is way different being sober now then being high with her gone. She was my best friend helped me through a few CT withdrawals and she is helping again right now with this. Yes I relate to that a lot

[readytoquit184]

And I know its not a good excuse but my mothers death was how the addiction was able to talk its way back into my life. I didn't want to face it. I held her hand as her heart stopped an she was the one person in this world who I could tell everything to. I'm facing it now and facing her death is something I've been running from for almost two years.

[readytoquit184]

I will check all of it out. I've considered telling my dad but I KNOW he will lose respect for me. He won't understand. I have a brother and sister who are WAY DEEP into MANY different addictions which neither are ready to stop nor want to and he puts them down to me all the time. The one person I would be able to open up to and would understand (my mother) died of cancer in Oct of 2011.

[VICourageous]

I agree with the above..There are many meeting that are open and you can take your kids too..Try both AA/NA..Just give it a try. I live in a very small town and I do not see anybody. If I do once in a great while we do not discuss things in public. Do not fear not going it might just save your life.. I just got back from both meeting tonight..Ya!!!!
Bless

[clean_in_ks]

There is a book called "Living Clean:  The Journey Continues" that would be a great help to you to read.  It's about finding a new way to live---the practice of recovery in our daily lives, in our relationships, and in our service to others.

Daily Meditation books are invaluable to me....only takes a few minutes each day... and faithfully reading it each day totally helps me to un-learn old ways of thinking and and re-learn new ones.  There is a good one called "Just for Today"....you can also have a daily meditation from this book (Just for Today)  sent to your email everyday if you like.  Here's the link if you want to subscribe to that service (it's totally free):

http://www.jftna.org/jft-subscription.htm

I hear that you are wanting to keep your addiction a secret....and yet you are really needing support and people to talk to.  If you go to the NA.org web site you can find online meetings, chat rooms, meetings near you at all different times of the day/week and lots of support.  Your chances of succeeding at getting and staying clean are much greater if you completely cut off your sources and don't attempt keeping friendships with those still using.  Unless we change our people, places and playgrounds.....our risk for relapse is VERY high.
And if you share your addiction with at least one person, it will free you inside....secrets keep us sick.  Talking with someone about  our being an addict also gives us some accountability...it's pretty easy for us to "use behind our secret" if no one is aware of attempt to get well.  

It's great that you are seeking support....I would encourage you to try to find some "skin on" support, too.  Being around others whose experiences are so much like our own gives us encouragement and an opportunity to learn from and help each other.
Wishing you the best~

[toothfairie]

you can go online and pull up the NA literature....there are also tons of things online that can help you...just google it....there are also online NA/AA meetings since you can't get out right now...hope this helps.  How are you feeling??

[readytoquit184]

I was so good at my cover up even my suppliers didn't realize where I was at with it!! I told them once I was far enough away and they were shocked! The sickness can make you so different! Live double lives! Be the most honest caring person but lie about the disease so you can keep your relationship with it!!