How do I make his mom understand?

[madeulook]

I have stopped giving him money and I know about his addiction 2 heroin cocaine and crack but his mother I think is in denial completely I made her aware of the situation but yet she still gives him money and has excuses for him all the time. I had left him for 3  months and I thought he was clean but I was completely wrong and financially I can't leave again is my being here with him and knowing he is getting high making him think its ok??  Im here but I don't even talk 2 him all day or night the only reason we talk is maybe something that has 2 do with the kids I have a 5 yr old 2 yr old and 3 month old....  he was high the day my 3 month old daughter was born  and he missed her birth and then the next day he went 2 the hospital and said he was sooo sorry that, that was the last time he was ever gonna do that and I didn't believe him but  he fooled me right back 2 him... I feel so stupid sometimes but I can't help him and I know that. I just wish he would want 2 stop but like his mother they r both in denial... how can I make her understand not 2 support him in anyway to let him fall completely that's what he needs!!! He is on parole as well and I don't know how he has been passing the urine test they give him monthly.  

[bluespence]

I agree with the previous response...you gotta quit thinking about him and take care of you and your kids. You need to make good decisions for the kids and he is grown and he can make his own decisions. You say you just wish he would want to quit getting high..but right now he has no reason to stop. He has you ans his kids there when he feels like seeing you and he has his mom enabling him too. You have to help create a bottom for him. He should not be able to see his kids or you anytime he feels like it. Now even if you leave he still may not get clean, but regardless you can't continue to accept his behavior. The previous post is correct about your kids getting taken away if they find out you are living with a man who gets high or has drugs in the home. I used to work for DCS and if the police or even if a neighbor decides to call the police they can say I am concerned for the kids and then they will start an investigation. I know it won't be easy but you gotta leave him and make a better life for you and your kids. You are a strong woman and you can do this, you are so much stronger than you think you are..I promise you that! Good luck and keep us posted!

[newmanagment]

Urine test are prolly passed by stayin clean 3 dayz before a drop, or he may not be getting dropped. A call to his PO would make sure he was tested. If you call and talk to the PO, they would prolly come drop him immediatly the next time you called and told em he wuz high. But that means he is prolly jus gonna get tied up on another stretch, n i ain seen prison make really anybody I know into betta people. so thas a call you gotta make.
Finacially, you gonna have to seek out shelters, public aid houses, NE thing that can put you away from him. I gotta add this, may **** ya off but im real. YOU are a grown *** woman wit 3, count em again, 3 KIDS!! all them babies rely on you an dad making rational decisions about their care and upbringing!!Now wit daddy high, that makes YOU the one making those rational decisions!!! so make em, get on a phone and find a way to get your kids outta that house ASAP!!  Search local womens strength, churches, relatives.... everything !!! you are putting yourself in jeopardy by being in the house wit him using. If they raid, or you get in a domestic dispute, or a dog bites your kid.... NE thing happens and they come to the house and see dope or signs of dope.... they gonna yank ya kids so fast youll  forget ya eva had em. You ARE ok'ing him to use by staying there and having the knowledge that he is using!!! law enforcement see's it the same way, just as they should!!! KIDS come first.
that said, I can tell by the story I read here that you love him. I feel it in your words and the way you alwayz stick by him even tho he is using. You cant make his moms stop doin for him, only she can do that. you can try to take her to an co dependent meeting, she will gain knowledge about his addiction and ways she should be dealing with it. YOU could use a few of those meetings too, they helped my mom tons!!
Ne way, I been your hubby for 25 + years, so I know where he is at in his life. He will only change when he changes. sure ain gonna be for the kids, his mom , or you. It will be when he decides that the dope is running more of his life than his soul is!!!
best of luck to you, and your man. He can come back and be the person he wants , and I pray he does that for you and his babies.