Aa
Back at Day 2
I'm typing this but don't know if I'll have the guts to post it.
I have a "friend" who came over to visit a few weeks ago and he was really hurting. I had a full bottle of pregabalin (generic lyrica) leftover as I had switched to real Lyrica. I gave him a couple and it really helped him. So I gave him a few more to take with him. Well he was phoning me daily to get a couple. Then he called and he had given a couple to a friend who is prescribed percs and the friend really liked them and wanted to trade some percs for the pregabalin. I couldn't believe it but they were garbage to me. I said I would think about it. Well, I thought and I thought. My house has been up for sale for awhile and not moving. My agent wants to come and take pictures of the inside and my house was a mess because it has been too cold, icy and stormy for anyone to be looking for awhile. The percs would give me the energy to clean my house and take away the side effects I'm having from the Lyrica. Just a few to get me through. Well I traded them all and ended up with around 70 percs. I took them for about 10 days. Totally abused them and am now back going through withdrawals, side effects from my lyrica and still have a messy house. Back in the same situation only 10x worse. I am in withdrawals, more time has passed to get my house ready and of course I'm not too happy with myself. I guess I am proof that you have to make sure you don't associate with anyone who is using when you are clean. Especially newly clean. I knew I was weak. I knew he didn't have anything and thought I could help him. He instead helped me to use again. I really did feel like I woke up the beast after just taking 2 pills. I actually had to take about 6 to stop the guilt and to give me energy. I hate to post this but I have read a couple of things on the forum today and thought I should share this. I probably made a few people happy but I know most people care.
Thanks for reading
Hugs
Pat
I have a "friend" who came over to visit a few weeks ago and he was really hurting. I had a full bottle of pregabalin (generic lyrica) leftover as I had switched to real Lyrica. I gave him a couple and it really helped him. So I gave him a few more to take with him. Well he was phoning me daily to get a couple. Then he called and he had given a couple to a friend who is prescribed percs and the friend really liked them and wanted to trade some percs for the pregabalin. I couldn't believe it but they were garbage to me. I said I would think about it. Well, I thought and I thought. My house has been up for sale for awhile and not moving. My agent wants to come and take pictures of the inside and my house was a mess because it has been too cold, icy and stormy for anyone to be looking for awhile. The percs would give me the energy to clean my house and take away the side effects I'm having from the Lyrica. Just a few to get me through. Well I traded them all and ended up with around 70 percs. I took them for about 10 days. Totally abused them and am now back going through withdrawals, side effects from my lyrica and still have a messy house. Back in the same situation only 10x worse. I am in withdrawals, more time has passed to get my house ready and of course I'm not too happy with myself. I guess I am proof that you have to make sure you don't associate with anyone who is using when you are clean. Especially newly clean. I knew I was weak. I knew he didn't have anything and thought I could help him. He instead helped me to use again. I really did feel like I woke up the beast after just taking 2 pills. I actually had to take about 6 to stop the guilt and to give me energy. I hate to post this but I have read a couple of things on the forum today and thought I should share this. I probably made a few people happy but I know most people care.
Thanks for reading
Hugs
Pat
Best Answer
Glad to hear you say that! Keep believing in yourself and keep trying! You are needed here so no disappearing!
Wow guys
Thank you so much for all of the beautiful words and for your support.
Yes, I do believe in myself.
There is no way I am giving up.
Thank you so much for all of the beautiful words and for your support.
Yes, I do believe in myself.
There is no way I am giving up.
Pat, I am not happy about your relapse either! My heart just breaks for you! It took me 2 years to finally make it to 119 days and I know I am 1 pill away from relapse! I just never posted until my last time but I read everyday! You haven't failed because failing is giving up and you can't give up! You always pick yourself up and try it again!
I think you are an awesome woman! You have a heart of gold! You give great advice on here and I have seen you help so many. Time to use your advice on yourself! I believe in you! Do you believe in yourself?
I think you are an awesome woman! You have a heart of gold! You give great advice on here and I have seen you help so many. Time to use your advice on yourself! I believe in you! Do you believe in yourself?
Girl you know how I feel about you...you were there for me and still are...you also know i'll always be there for you no matter what...no advice from me...they all said it above....just know you have my support and you can PM me any time you need to....thanks for the PM today...it meant alot. I've always told you that you are a strong woman, and I still believe that. It took alot of guts to post here for support...I'm proud of you for pushing forward and not just giving up.. love ya. xoxoxo
I thank you for sharing what you did Pat - none of us wants to relapse, but we all know it can happen if we let our guard down. You also offered me great advice as a newcomer here. I thank you for that and offer my support as well.
Yes Kyle,
I know how much you support me and I know you really care. It's just never easy to hear the truth.
I do keep reading everything over and over and it all seems softer now.
I appreciate all of the love and support from each and every one of you and from the ones who PM"d me.
Thanks Real 180
That was really sweet.
I know how much you support me and I know you really care. It's just never easy to hear the truth.
I do keep reading everything over and over and it all seems softer now.
I appreciate all of the love and support from each and every one of you and from the ones who PM"d me.
Thanks Real 180
That was really sweet.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
The glory and freedom from addiction has been waiting patiently for you, Pat. And you are still alive....and you still have choices. Praise God for that!
I had a counselor many yrs back that told me something...he said, Connie, you KNOW all the "right actions" in your "head".....but you don't take any ACTION!!! That's how I see you too, Pat.....ever since your best friend/lover/hubby died....you've been trying to numb the pain....freeze frame your life. And you have been on an island of isolation ever since.
You found a good addiction counseling place to go....but didn't follow thru.
You know where meetings are....but don't follow thru and go.
Your perc supplier leaves for the winter...and you do good.....but you don't have any thing "in place" to gird you up when temptation or a perc salesmen comes knocking on your door.
Your isolation will truly "get" you one day, Pat. It's time to "Do It Afraid".....you've just got to find the courage/guts to follow thru....and ACT on what you know. (cause you DO know!!!)
We can't do that for you....we can love you...make suggestions....encourage you....guide you...but when it gets right down to showing up for an appointment....or going to a meeting even though you don't "want" to... so you can meet some other human beings to hug you and love you, you get scared and stay home.
You need to process your grief, Pat. And you need to be clean to feel that emotional pain and find the healing and clarity that will eventually come out on the other side.
I will continue to pray for you.....and even though you and I were "at odds" many months ago....we have embraced each other in friendship and I will be here to support you.
GO FOR IT PAT.....JUST DO IT AFRAID......OK?????????