How do I suceed at staying clean

[brightfuture]

Well I am once again trying to get the opiates and I just cannot seem to do it.  By day four I want my energy back and to be that active mom and that clean house and all that energy and I just go back to pills!!  I ahve been on for six years. Three years hard core OXYcotin and I quit it was hell but I never touched that horrible stuff again.  But I went to 10-15 percs or vicodin a day.I also take methodone when I run out of everything and I hate that stuff but i am a wimp.  In may I said this is it, I pretended at work to have surgery told my mom I was going to vegas so she could watch the kids for the days ans went to a detox facility.  Holly crap that was not what I expected last time I did it on my own with the Thomas diet and just kind of died but did it.  So the detox place was way crazy and I lasted a few hours I thought they would give me all these drugs and baby me well they threw me in a room with about 20 other really sick ladies and one bathroom where evryone just got sick. So I stuck to my guns went home and had xanax and ambian and sleep it off, I thought wow that was not so horrible I did not ahve the severe direahrea like the other times but once again I needed that feeling of energy to be that great mom and everything else that I am not without pills.  Am I hopeless? I cannot keep trying and making up these lies and then fail. I want to be done so bad so friggin bad.  I ahve done this my entire kids lives that kills me. I just want to do it.  I am almost out of my 5mg vics soI should be done by Sat. Help me plan please.  I read all about you all and how far you are and I am so jealous I would give a lot to be in your shoes five days clean OMG. Help please

[catmagnet]

Yes, you can do it! Sadly, I waited until my kid was 18 before I decided I had bottomed out. I was high for 15 out of the 18 years she was here. Vicodin ruled every move I made. Now that I'm on the sober side of things, I'm really glad that I don't have to lie and sneak around anymore. But we all need to keep our guard up. The best way to stay strong is to avoid people, places, and things, but sometimes situations creep up that you don't expect. I have been tempted so many times, especially recently since I'm really stressed out right now. That's when I think back to last December when I was detoxing. I felt worse than any other time in my life. Once you finally break the cycle of using/guilt/trying to quit/relapse, you are gonna feel so GOOD about things...I can guarantee you that! I'm on day 210...you can get here too!  =)

[scoenen]

Pick a day and do it.  If you can, find someone to help you with the kids for the first few days (I came off Fentanyl and percs and literally could not move).  I told my Mom and sister that I wanted to come off my meds, picked a day and had help set up and it made a world of difference.  You really have to be ready to do this because the first 5 days were a living hell but if I can do it and many of the other people on this board can, so can you.  A positive attitude is a must when you start.  Tell yourself, never, not even once, will I put any pills in my mouth.  You can do this and we are all here routing for you!!

[brightfuture]

Thank you all for your support, I wish i could say  am on day 1 of being clean but I am not.  I think I need to start with some professional help.
Thanks gain

[Htownnofrown]

Personal Counseling/Addiction Counseling does work for some, but it didn't for me. How much of that was the format, and how much of it was me not being ready to quit, I'll never know for sure. AA works wonders in my life, I've been sober almost 14 months now.

I wouldn't worry about seeing someone you know in recovery at a meeting, not only is anonymity one of the first principles of the program, but also those of us in recovery share a special bond with the other addicts/alcoholics in meetings. I would not hesitate to do business with an addict in recovery. If anything, I would respect their resolve and life choices more than the average person.

Good luck, whatever you do, just don't use today!

[PoochieRachetToe]

My only recommendation to you is to really find something else to occupy that time. You should incorporate something into your life that cannot be accomplished while taking these pills. Aftercare is obviosly huge. At 111 days I have yet to get the "standard aftercare". I chose exercise to occupy the time that I would be under the influence of narcotics. I also told everyone that I am around on a daily basis what I had done. This way if I start to wander, they will notice and keep me in check. Headaches led me to these and boredom kept me on them. I am no longer bored, at all.

[laurel453]

You can also do it, brightfuture ( you put your dream on your name, see ? now, trust you can do it :)

we need making life changes after detoxing....leading a healthy life, a disciplined one, no toxic relationships and addressing our personal problems and addictive behaviour... i visit an addiction therapist and it's working for me

good luck :)

[brightfuture]

Good advice and I guess I need to really think about that question is my desire to get high greater than my desire to quit, well ya it feels better.  But I so want this monkey off my back, for me and to be a good role model to my kids. I have never done after care and want to be stronger than that but I know I am not.  I just do not know what to do.  I live in a smalltown and have a bussiness I am scared to see poeple at NA. What about counsling/ Thanks for thinking of me.  YOu guys are so strong and amazing poeple

[dominosarah]

I am quoting a man on the forum who says "when your desire to get clean is more than your desire to get high then you will get clean"......That pretty much sums it up.  You are not a wimp and you have it in you to get clean.  Check into some sort of recovery care.  That is so important.  Using is only a symptom of what is going on.  Have you come clean to anyone about this?  Having support from a family is very helpful.  Keep posting       sara

[worried878]

So u have tried the thomas reipe?  detox?  Have u tried aftercare?  it is the only medicine for an addict to stay in remission...like some other diseases..addiction does not go away just cos we quit..it lingers and waits for us to become weak so it can pounce on us again...addicts resist the only medicine to help them stay clean like the plague...aftercare is not guaranteed either..u gotta want this deep deep down
everybody has a different bottom....hang in there and keep posting