Call for help, ideas, and your general observations

[krbkwb02]

Well this is my story, and I would appreciate any comments! I started innocently enough upon my seperation from the military. I had the general aches and pains especially knees, seen a Dr and he put me on Darvocet in 2000. I took them for a year 6-8 per day, no real issues, mild withdrawls when I didnt have any. In 2002 I moved, got up with another Dr same thing, more Darvocets 6-8 per day for another year or so. Then suddenly they didnt do the trick anymore and moved onto Vics, Percs, whatever I could find and at the best street price(was taking 10-20 Percs or whatever per day). I got tired of paying the high prices and seen a Dr who prescribed me Vic 7.5, and did those for about a year or so. Suddenly again I got tired of "pill chasing" when I was out, and made an appointment with the Doc.

I told the Dr that I was abusing them, and he offered to help me. He did alright, put me on Methadone 5mg x3 daily. Call me naive, but I thought I was in there, conquered it! Little to my knowledge it was worse. After a year or two, bottles of pills and the occassional Poppy Tea when I was out, I asked him for an increase in Methadone, in which he obiliged raising it to 10mg x 3 daily. It was certainly enough to function and feel normal! Now here I am in 2011, recently had hip replacement surgery and told the doctor I was done with the Methadone. His words to me were, " you can't do it, I don't suggest it, you will never manage your pain. He prescribes me Vic 5/500 no more than 8 daily"for the post the surgeon and my regular doc are not the same".

I had my last dose of Methadone on 16 October 2011, and the Vics ran out a few days ago. So here I am, the only saving grace at the moment is a few Ultrams, which are keeping the demons at Bay, at least for now, but soon those will be gone, and that will be it......Thomas Recipe for sure, lets hope it all works...I want my old life back so bad...so few people understand addicition, unless you have been there!  

I feel as if my problem is minor compared to some, but its been 11 years on the dope!

[krbkwb02]

Here I am up at 330am, I made it through the day on 3 Ultram, but awoke, a little trembeling but not too bad, and feels a bit like I want to puke, so I took 1 to settle things down, surf the net for awhile, then back to bed lol. Hopefully she can help me some today, any help, is wonderful....I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE!...

[vicki595]

Yes it is a vicious cycle. I really think,for you,it would be better to not take any more opiates. That's the only thing that's going to break this cycle. Speak to the PA about it.  She can prescribe meds to treat the symptoms of withdrawal and suggest other things to take.

I'm glad for your sake that you're seeing her. I'm sure she'll have some good ideas.  Let us know...

[krbkwb02]

I am just using the Ultram to get through today and tomorrow and that will be it.....got on them for legit pain, but later transformed more or so for the high...so its a double edged sword so to speak. I feel like Ive beaten the massive amount of Percs I use to take, I also feel as if I have a good hold on the Methadone, but I certainly know its not over. Going tomorrow to see a Physicians Assistant, to see if she can help somehow? I really don't know what if anyt  hing she can do? I know the Ultram its not the best solution, but if she can/will prescribe that would help in the interim, and then slow taper from there.....its all such a vicious cycle!

[vicki595]

I hope it all works out for you but how is your pain now? And do you plan on having nothing after the Ultram is gone?  That would be good if you can do it; at least to see what your actual pain level is without the meds. Then you can make an informed decision about future pain control.

It's not an easy task but it's worth it. You don't really say if you think you're an addict or not. Are you? Or has this all been for pain? Maybe both?

Keep posting!