PREGNANT AND ADDICTED! PLZ HELP!

[disgusted88]

well i have read many posts about hydrocodone and addiction but actually i am in a HORRIBLE position. I just recently found out that i am 6 weeks pregnant and have been addicted to hydrocodone for many years.

It started off that when i started ( age 11) i was stealing them from my mother and only took them once in awhile. as time went on i would take more and more but i could walk away and did for long periods of time.
After i gave birth to my first son  i had alot of problems physically being obese (5'8 & 330ibs), a brand new c-section, RLS and two purtruding disks in my back that are causing me nerve damage.
My son is now almost 3 and i have been taking them pretty much everyday since he was born. im tired, i hurt im scared, depressed, god so many diffrent things all in one.
right now im at a point where i feel the the world is falling down on me with everything going on. I know that most of the pills that i take a day (anywhere from 3 to 15 10/325) atre because of the emotional state that im in. I am 21 a married and am having alot of difficulties with  my marriage and i do not want to hurt my child. I really have pretty much no support system even though i am married because the people around me just make me feel like **** and me being addicted. when they push me and call me an addict it makes me want to take more to ease the pain. in the lasst 3 years i have only not taken them for 4 days and they were the most horrible days in my life.
please someone help me! i dont know who to turn to, what to think, how to feel.
I sit here crying while i write this because i am at a loss.
I want to be better
i want to be normal.
I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE OUT OF THIS BOTTLE ANYMORE
like many others here when my prescription runs out i will pay for them or try to get my pharmacy to refill my script early.
For some reason i feel like my marriage is a large portion of my fepression and my fixation with continously taking pills.
I am a educated person with an associates degree in computer security and forensics but i still feel so hopeless.
how can i make myself better please tell me that theres someone out there that has been in my position.
thank you so much for reading this right now and any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
is there an online support group SOMETHING? anything?! thank you again,
Hopeless in pennsylvania

[snowflake620]

Please see your Dr. we cannot stress that enough not only for your sake but for the sake of the little life you now carry,we will be here to support you all the way so don't feel like you are alone you are not.
snowflake

[princess2000]

I agree with everyone.  Please Please Please get help from your Dr now.  Be Honest, and he or she will help you.  You do not want to have a baby addicted! It not a pretty site, very heart breaking, not to mention child Services getting involved, which you do not want!!!  Get the help now, and you will be ok!  Have Faith, it can work out.

[mom2676]

First let me welcome you to this community, I am so glad you found this forum. It is a wonderful, supportive place. You mentioned an online support group, in my opinion you have found that. The people here are so understanding and although they may not have experienced exactly what you are going through, we are all dealing with this horrible disease in some way. Are you under a Dr.'s care right now? Do you have an O.B that you trust enough to discuss this honestly with?  If not you can find one, they are out there.  I understand the hurting, physically and emotionally, sometimes it's hard to tell which one is the worst. I know. It's obviouse in reading your post that you love your son and the baby on the way very much. Utilize this forum as much as you can for support because you will definately get it here. I never walk away from my computer feeling alone. Before this, I felt very alone, it seemed no one understood and everyone around me had an opinion which most of the time was negative. Accept the support from the friends you have here and most importanly listen to them and ask as many questions as you have. I have found that everyone here really cares about what you are going through and how you are doing! The people around you that put you down and make you feel worse probably think they are helping they may not realize they are hurting you and doing more damage in the way they are handling "or not" your addiction. PM me any time.                                           mom2676

[tramaddi]

well u cam eto the right place.  Im very pregnant 35 weeks and just stopped taking tramadol last friday and it actually hasn't been too bad...see my post I left a few minutes ago.  I wonder if if some type on anti depressant might help u out?  I just started wellbutrin and think maybe it is the reason why the w/d is not so bad.  A bad marraige can suck the life out of you.  Try tapering and talking 2 ur Dr about an antidepressant take a deep breath and relax..IT WILL BE OK! u can pm me if u need to talk.  Good luck!

[nursegirl6572]

I'm so sorry to hear that you don't have the support you need....but don't let that stop you from getting the help you need for you and your baby, hon!  Look at it like a gift......it is a really really good reason to stop being a slave to the pills.  If anything is going to motivate you to get through it, it will be this.

First thing you need to do is be 100% honest with your doctor.  Tell him/her EXACTLY how much you take, for how long, etc.  I know it is scary....but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the reaction.  You aren't the first addicted pregnant woman and surely won't be the last.  It's all in how you handle it from this point forward.

Tell your doc about your home life and that you lack the support you need.  Ask for info on meetings you can go to to surround yourself with people who not only understand what you are going thru, but also can give you the help and support you need.  YOU are worth it, and your precious baby is worth it.

There is an OB nurse here, 1234betterlife (I think that's it).....she has helped countless women in this type of situation.  I know you are scared *&^%less....but you will come out on the other side with a new outloook on life.  It won't be easy...but you can do it.

Whatever you do...please talk with your doc first...don't go cold turkey thinking that is the answer....b/c it can dangerous.  Get under the care of a an OB and follow their directions.  Don't forget about asking for psychological help...not only for your addiction and aftercare...but also for all of the other issues you have going on in your life...from your marriage, to your self-esteem, and on and on.

Hang in there...and stick around here....you'll be amazed at what you will learn and the support that is on this site.  Best to you and your baby!