Good morning to my new world

[jamie47]

Hi,
  Just wanted to write to say I feel great again today! Day 13 after taking lortab 10 + 10 a day, sometimes more!! I took them for the high, I do have a pinched nerve in my neck, but so far no pain. I have motrin  800 just in case. I'm simply amazed. I keep wondering if I will still wake up one morning and feel bad all over again, does anyone out there with more time know if I'm over the hump, or should I expect to feel bad again. I want to go back to work, but am afraid just yet- any idea's. I'm eating good after loosing 20 lbs!! I didn't want to eat when taking the pills. My mind is so much clearer, my energy level is good, but I do tire easy by the end of the day, My depression is getting better- I have been happy for 3 days now. A few bouts with it, but I remind myself of where I'm at and where I was, that helps. Also again I want to thank everyone who responded to my posts- this site really helped me get thru this detox.
How are you Trudy, helpinutah,sdleo,flowergirl43 and roadtorecovery(there are more people, but can't remember names at this moment)? Also Bubbles, I sent you a note. Did you get it? Hope everyone is doing great and making progress out of this hell hole that we are in. Just stay determined and don't let it beat you- you beat it!!
To noodlez- sounds to me like you are angry with yourself, not this site. I think you are feeling guilt because you are having such a hard time quiting. I know it's hard to go thru detox, I've done it twice now. You just have to be hard on yourself and don't give in. To me it has a lot to do with self control, I know everyone is different, but don't ever think this site as goodie goodie, they are just more experienced, and people just care and want to help you. I think you took things the wrong way because of your guilt inside yourself- not being critical, just look deep inside yourself and figure out why you feel what you do. Sometimes we have to do some soul searching to get things back in perspective.
I wish you all the luck in your recovery. Get tough on yourself, you can do it!!!!!       Jamie47

[sdleo]

Thanks for your wonderful post! It's was inspiring. I am doign ok also. I have alittle depression and anxiety and insomnia. But other than that that I think my physical w/d are mostly done. I do have an occasioanl backache or headache but who knows if that just was going to happen or what. SO anyhow thanks for inquiring about how I'm doing and I am so glad you are doing great.

[merrymaria]

you are very welcome...i feel like i didn t do anything except tell you my story..and seriously you can note me or pm me anytime.  i m no expert i can only try to help.  i tried to taper back in march but failed miserably.  in july i finally made my mind up to quit on the 4th.  i took about 12 pills that day to end it all and saturday the 5th i was done.  oh the  wds were hell to get through.  i ll never ever forget it.  i cried so much, felt so much guilt, bathroom issues etc.  i started praying to God to please help me to get through this and it made me feel better.  the lack of energy and sleep were the worst part for me.  this forum has saved my life i believe.  so many people who care.  i don t get alot of support in my life so this place is so amazing to me.  like you said how complete strangers take the time to try to help each other.  i been told there are some bossy mean people here but i haven t run across any yet.  if you do please let me know..they can discourage a person sometimes.  i don t know about you but i still need all the help i can get.  we are all here for each other through the good and the bad, through relapses and getting back on track.  just stay here and keep talking.  it helps so much...anyhoo i m sure you will do fine..once the 2 weeks are up things look so much brighter and we can function without drugs..that s the best part.  i love that saying 1 pill not enough too.  there is a beautiful poem on bandnmom journal.  it s called an addicts prayer if you want to read it.  i pray it alot.  since coming off drugs i have really become closer to God.  i took for granted all the beauty around me never really noticing the beautiful sunsets, the stars and all Gods nature. (if that makes sense)   i d like to add you as a friend if that is okay.  please excuse my typing..my battery is running out and i m trying to hurry before it dies.  you take care now and before we know it we ll have a couple years under our belt.  God bless you   maria

[jamie47]

Hi girls,
  Thanks again girls. It feels sooooooooooo good. I can't imagine ever going back. I'm going to take a shower and go for a walk on the beach, get out of this house for a while. I have an appt. tues w/ atty. I hope it's not a bad day!! Oh well if it is, I'll deal with it. What else can I do right! Pills are not an option anymore. Hope you are doing great also and everyone is in my prayers. I say a huge congrats to all of us, we can beat this demon!!  Thanks to all  Jamie47

[road2recovery]

Congrats on day 13...You should just keep feeling better each day...Sometimes you may have a bad day, but everyone does...But i know you can handle it!!!   Just keep going, your strenght and strong will , will get you through!!  
GREAT JOB!!!
r2r

[jamie47]

Hi everyone,
  Thanks so much for all of your support, it means so much. II'm trying to write to all of you, but I have been on this computer and gotta get moving!! It amazes me that people I don't even know are so willing to give their time ,care and concern to someone that they don't know. I truely appreciate everyone of you. Also congrats to everyone on their progress out of this hell that we were in. Life is great and will only get better if we want it to. And remember "one pill is to many and 10,000 is not enough" I got that from Cupp. I love that. I will hold that very close to my heart.  Til later Jamie47

[jamie47]

Thanks for your note, I cried!! I love that ending "one pill is to many and 10,000 is not enough"!!!!!!!!   Boy is that ever true. Can I use that??  I too lived every day for a pill or 10!
I would get 120 lortab 10's a month and in the end my script would only last 2 weeks . I would find a way to get more!! I knew I had to quit. I tried weening myself down with the last 2 scripts and did not succeed, so I knew I had to ct also. I am so happy I'm off them and do not want to ever go back. I pray that I never will. I have a strong will. Just remembering the hell of detox should fix any craving and also I definately don't ever want to live that lifestyle again. Congrats on your day 14, sounds like were almost even on this detox hell! I'll keep you in my prayers, we can do this I know.  Jamie47

[SFgirll853]

Congratulations on almost 2 weeks!  I am on day 16 from 100mg norco and am doing better.  Yesterday was a tough day and I almost felt like the wd's were coming back but I am feeling more alert today.  Congratulations on a great job and thanks for posting!

[Cupp78]

Congrats on your 13 days.  It is so encouraging to read other people's success stories.  I just made 14 days and I am feeling better each day.  I went CT from a 3 year, 350 mg+ a day Oxy/methadone/whatever I could get, habit.  I feel so hopeful that this is going to last for me and I can live each day, one day at a time, without using drugs!!!  Yesterday was the day I would have been able to get my script refilled.  Normally the day before and all of yesterday morning would have been spent obsessing about it, waiting to call the doc, waiting for him to call me back, going to pick it up, waiting at the pharmacy, all of those CRAZY things that had become what was THE MOST important in my life, and that we all do/did.  BUT, yesterday, I barely thought about it!!  I only thought wbout it when I smiled and realized that the PILLS DON'T OWN ME ANYMORE!!!!  Wow, that feels great to say!!.  I know I still have a long way to go, but I have made it this far and I am not looking back, or going back.  There have been rough days, but I just spent more time on my knees praying for God to help me through those day, and he carried me through them.  I have forgiven myself for the mistakes I made and I plan to learn from them and not repeat them.  For anyone out there struggling, please believe that you can do it.  It isn't easy, but if you surround yourself with the right people (like those here or in NA) you can do it.  Good luck to anyone who is thinking about or just starting this journey and congrats to all who are already on the road to recovery.  I would highly recommend going to meeting to hear and learn from others who have been down this hard road and beaten the death grip of addiction.

Always remeber, one pill is too many and 10,000 will never be enough.

God Bless.

[jamie47]

Thanks for the info. I really do feel so much better. I too got to the point when I was taking so much and knew I had to stop, so I did it on my own will and this site! I also tell myself that when I think I want a devil pill-look what you just went thru, do you want that again and immediately I'm cured. That detox was pure hell. I would never have thought it would be so bad. I used to weigh 130, got down to 108 and it showed. I'm 5'7. All my friends would ask why are you losing weight, well of course I wouldn't tell them, only one girlfriend I confided in, she helped me thru the 1st week, checking in on me. I live alone, so the depression was terrible, I would get so lonesome. Thats when I would get on the computer to occupy my mind. Wow 80 days, CONRATS!!!!!!! I look forward to the day when I can say that. I am so damned determined about this!!!  Those pills are the enemy and I don't need them to be happy, I'm happy without them!! God it feels good. Thanks for your support and I'll write again.  Jamie47

[merrymaria]

hi  my name is maria..just read your post. wtg on day 13.  yes i think form the most part you are over the worst of wds.  i didn t really feel great till the third week.  i took my 2 week vacation in july to wd from these awful pills.  went back to work and did fine.  i mean i could function at home and driving, etc. at 1 week but just felt awful.  i was a heavy user too..taking any kind of opiate i could get and yeah took them for the high also.  but when it got to the point where i had to take so many to function i knew i had a problem.  i never ate either cos it ruined the high.  i was very thin but now i m eating way too much.  i m passed 80 days clean but still have some good and bad days but i believe it s just everyday life.  you should feel better and better although i do remember on days 16 to 18 a drop in energy and feeling depressed.  everyone is so different.  some people sail through with no  waves..others struggle but it sounds like you are doing great.   mentally i crave but i think back on wding from these devil pills and it seems to go away..but myself as an addict will have to deal with this every single day.
hope i have helped you and i wish you lots of love and luck.  if you need any other info you can note me or send a pm..keep moving forward..take care   maria

[hobbity]

Wow and that's a wonderful story about getting past the hard part and sticking to it. And what's more wonderful is you are posting and staying positive and helping others.  That's just what we need to hear is that you do get to a point where the fatigue and the pain is gone and there is a rainbow at the end.