Cry, cry cry!

[tavia14]

Hi All- Day 9 and yes super proud of me but at the same time soooo freakin sad! I know it will get better and I do know that I am a typical drug addict wanting to feel better NOW!!! It will take time but shoot this fight is one hell of a fight!!! I will keep fighting it's just depressing!! There are so many things that I need to remind myself to be grateful for but as you all know when your just beginning and your brain is so messed up its hard to remind yourself of these things UGH!! Last night the person that sold me my first pill called me and said she was on the same boat! Well, after talking to her ( because of course I am there to help) I discovered WRONG! She's not ready and I need to stay FAR, FAR, FAR AWAY. I am soooo proud of myself for cutting all ties and connections with pills so guess I need to cut her too! OK, done! I know everyday will get better I just wish this black cloud would lift a little. I do tell you I would not have made it to DAY 9 without all of you ..Thank you we are all worth it!

[atthebeach]

you are doing great. 9 days , yeaaaaaa!!!!
good another "friend" off the list, who needs them if they are part of your demise.
you should be proud of yourself, keep forging forward, time,time, time no there is no easy fix for this. time will heal, patience is a virtue. keep telling yourself, yes i can and i am doing it. it is my life and i am taking it back, i deserve to be free of the chains and bondage of this addiction, my daughter and my husband need a clean and sober mother and wife. life will be so much clearer, keep fighting tav you are winning the battles, day by day, just keep your box of tissues handy for now. it is ok, crying is cleansing for your soul.
keep praying,keep believing,keep trusting
sending hugs,prayers and continued blessing
debbie

[vicki595]

Tavia-  We've all gone through the tearful episodes to some degree. I'll tell you what: It IS your brain and it's HEALING. We go through this as our feelings come back and it's a very good thing and it's a positive. Just embrace it and go with it knowing how alive you are!

[vicki595]

Debbie- When I'm in a bad mood (which is NOT often LOL) I just read what you write and I'm good to go!!  I'll be letting my therapist go now....xo

[ImDONENoMore]

Yup I know exactly how you're feeling.  And I have to tell you - even though you might not realize it now (but you will eventually) - you are dealing SO much better than you think you are.

It's a new way to live right?  You have to look at everything in a whole new way.  Old way to deal with problems?  Take a pill.  New way to deal with problems?  TALK about it.  Which is exactly what you're doing.  :)

[killmypain]

Hey Tavia.... Day 10 for me and boy am I struggling with the motivation stuff. I'm not so sad anymore although I'm not happy either.... I am so glad to have surrounded myself with sober people with whom I go to school. Nobody knows what I'm going through but some of the goof off guys make me laugh. I am struggling on the job front but am starting to realize that I might be better off without this job. There are 5 different people there who I have gotten pills from at one point or another..... Staying there will be a constant reminder of how hard it is to stay sober and how bad I wanna use.... I hate that job anyway. I will find out by tomorrow if they fire me.... if they do, I can collect unemployment for a few weeks. If not, I will have to work there until I find something else.... Keep fighting tavia....I will do the same. It's been really helpful to have someone on here to watch going through the same stuff as me. Thank you for posting!

[tavia14]

Thanks everyone...Have a second a work to sneak on and say hi. Still sad, sad, sad...could actually burst into tears writing this but there are moments through the day that I have seconds of "fog lift": and think aaahhh won't this feel great when I feel clear..it's almost as if I could grab it ( wish I could :) ) Anyhootie everyday is another day and another day clean is the most important part. Again, I think the 3 months I had clean was so awesome before I relapsed..how I wish I wouldn't have but Oh well I did so now its just about doing it right so I never have to pick my self up from drug use again. I am soooo glad my baby is still young and she will have her mama back for real! ..Thanks everyone you help soooooooo much!

[gnarly_1]

HI your ding great I know it dont seam that way but having your emotions come back on line so soon is a great sign just go with the flow a sad song will make you cry nothe other hand your baby doing something funny will make you laff your emotions arwe no longer dead you have to take the good the bad and the ugly but once you learn how to process them life will smooth out a bit just be glad you can feel again this is a big step to getting well I will keep you in my prayers keep pushing firward your doing this like all of us ....'''just for today'' good luck and God bless......Gnarly