DAY 1,,,, GOING TO DO IT DIFFERENT

[corey411]

Well, I have been weaning myself from my recent relapse and have been pretty successful with it. I was planning to wait until tomorrow to jump because it is my birthday and would make a good clean date. Plus I didn't want to be too dope sick on my bd. Yesterday my sister (who shares a bd with me this week) and I went out to lunch with my mom as has been a tradition every year Those freekin pills just kept calling and I kept getting the most severe chills everytime I took a dose (3x a day) I can't believe I didn't just take more. Experience with relapse has taught me it would have made me feel worse. I am going to flush the rest of my Vics and Trams right after I post this.

So what am I going to do different? I want to share this with all of you who l, like me, have to keep trying. I was back in my secrecy mode. It felt good when I posted here last week and I just figured I would stop again and be on the forum more often. I had a plan to start going to meetings again a couple times a week. Sounds like a plan but it is lacking a few things. I have not told my family about my relapse....I just told Joe this morning and feel pretty good about that. I need to tell the others. I went to NA everyday for over 4 months and I really liked more about it than not. I didn't stay clean for those 4+ months. I do want to go back on a more casual basis but need to act on that. The thing that I really need is counseling. This needs to be my primary focus on recovery. I am so afraid and embarrassed to tell my PCP about this. I don't know whether to call or make an appointment or what. It's going to be hard as I know her professionally as well as being my doctor. I know I have to do this or my addiction will keep beating me down. I just want everyone who is trying and not moving forward to know....as tough as it is we have to tell on our addiction and we have to get support and aftercare. If something doesn't work, learn from it and think really hard about what you need to do different. I think I have known from the beginning that I needed counseling but decided to try different things from the easy ones up. If I knew then, I would have just jumped into it all at once. I have been activly trying to stay clean for 2+ out of the 8 years that I was using...It would have been a much easier
if I would have done it then.

So here I go again. Terry, hopefully on your 2 year day I will have a 1 year date:o))

Blessings to all and luck and success on your road to recovery. Corey

[gizzy32]

Awwww, Corey:) I am so proud of you for taking these steps. Congrats on those 2 days again, your gonna make it this time, I feel it yaaaaaaaaaaaa. Hold your head high, this relapse did not mean you failed, it just taught you something and made you stronger and you learned from your mistakes.

P.S WARNING WARNING. If you mess up again, I will find you lmao. Stay strong, your a good women. Did I mention I will kick your a ss? LOL Proud of you!

[corey411]

OK Day 2 and not too bad but the neurontin is helping alot. I made it through work today. Feel about 70% but get some sweats, and feel really shaky. I have to have been really fed up to plan to stop after my bd and just flush and stop 2 days early.
There is no turning back now. I called my doctors office today and spoke with her nurse. I kinda just ask if I could get a referral for counseling and she said sure....for like depression? And I did not plan to tell her but spilled my guts. She worked rehab before and kept telling me to drop the shame. My doc is out of town today but will be back tomorrow. The nurse said she will probably want me to do out patient. She also said what dozens of others have told me....Go to AA and it does not have to hardcore bs that made me run from NA. Not that all NA groups are like that guys. And this might be what some need but I didn't respond well to that. So I feel a sense of relief about getting this out and starting a new path on my road to recovery, This has gotta work. There's nothing else I haven't tried. I really believe that it will and am really excited about starting whatever they feel is good for me. Oh yea...I told my son that I relapsed again so I'm telling alot on this disease. Thanks for all of the support and love guys. It helps bunches.

[10356]

Happy Birthday Corey !! You are going to have the same clean date as me in the sense that I also quit 1 day before me Birthday :) sorry you feel sucky right now the whole trial by fire thing but ya know corrine when I read you are going to be honest with your Dr. and get into counseling my heart lept with joy !! You my kind and gentle friend deserve the life that you are destined for one of serenity love and laughter and while screwing with our drugs none of these exist.. You know how much I love you and I'm here for you anytime.. warm hugs lesa

[vicki595]

Keep pushing Corey!!  It does get easier but you need to work at it...Just keep posting
on the forum!
Happy Birthday!
Vicki  xo

[SophieShine]

Happy Birthday Corey!!!! How do you feel today? I hope all is following plans... Sending you tons of hugs my Friend. xoxoxo. sophie.

Terry us old gals!!! roflmao

[corey411]

Thanks guys, you rock. I'm 4 hours into day 2 and not too sick but feeling sucky. My neurontin takes most of my wd symptoms away...Therefore I will be able to make it through work. At least I will have an easy day.  I scheduled Wed. off but if things do get bad I will take Tuesday off instead. Terry, we are going to have the same clean day:o)) Maybe some luck will run off. I am going to use all of the support I can get this time.

[beatingthis]

My sweet Corey, you do what ever you feel will help you. Us older gals have to stick toughter. Yes that means Sophie too lol!
Feel free to call me, I will always be here for you no matter what,

Just crazy about you and your dogs!!

Terry

[SophieShine]

Sounds like a good plan Corey!
You know you can count on me too anytime you need, you have helped me sooo much it's the least I can do.
Hang in there, you can do this!
Sending you hugs and strength. xoxoxo. sophie

[freebird227]

You know where I am and you know how to get in touch with me at any time.I am actually working with a young (20) girl who lives in Texas.I would be willing to be your accountablly person. You could send me a pm on fb daily to check in and let me know what you are feeling,and let me know what you have done for your recovery on that day....................What do you think??? Sound like a plan to you?????
I love you girl, you can do this thing,One day at a time.75% of all my fb are recovering, the other 25 is family. And about 50% of all of them worship at local churches. There is a lot of wisdom on my page, you gest have to look for it.~~~

[vicki595]

Corey...Sounds like a plan!  You sound very determined!

BUT...about those trams...have you tapered off from them?

All the best~Vicki    xo