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1135275 tn?1586565652

Day 1

Tomorrow will be my first step back into sobriety after a 10 month relapse. I did all the right things to prepare myself for tomorrow, but obviously I am anxious. I live in a new city and had to find the help I needed to make the leap. That said, the first day of sobriety is always tough for me. The first week will also be tough. I do have professional support, but my immediate friend group is noticeably superficial at the moment because of my recent move. I was just hoping to share that I'm nervous about day 1 even though I've been here before. If there's anyone around for the next few days that would be willing to message a bit, please let me know. Mostly, I would just appreciate being able to check in with someone for a few days regarding my urges. Any takers? :)
9 Responses
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sign me up!  You know i will be here .  I am very proud of you for starting over and wanting your life back.  You and i both know this isnt easy but it is worth it, you are worth it.  This part is only temporary.  I know you are nervous about this again and that is to be expected.  Try to keep moving around and dont forget to stay hydrated.  You can do this!!  I will keep checking in
Avatar universal
Hi this is my first time using medhelp, but came across your question and I can relate in so many ways just by your paragraph you wrote! I just want to wish you the best of luck and would love to hear how you are doing please! Im not sure if Ill be back on here or when but my email is: ***@****, please keep me updated!
2 Comments
I guess they stared out my email addnso I will make sure I check here daily!
Natashajean2019. They don't allow emails because it's not safe to put your personal info on the web.  For your own protection.  Do come back and hope to get to know you!  hugs
18524847 tn?1465595901
Ahh, honey.  Day one is always hard and the first week.  But you are strong.  Wishing you to own your power this week. Sending you hugs and the most positive vibes.  And just know that I love reading this and am proud of you.  hugs
7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
I check MedHelp frequently during the day at work so i will be here as well.  Armor up and push through it!!!!
1135275 tn?1586565652
Thanks, everyone. Day 1 went very well until it didn't. A new day 1 to come... I hope to report back soon with news that I have COMPLETED day 1. Rather than just leave it at this, how many of you had multiple day ones and how'd you break through? Thanks for you love and support...I WILL be successful soon. <3
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
It felt like i had alot of day 1's when i started this journey.  I just had it in my head that i had to go thru the rough stuff to get to the other side so i didnt fight it, i rode it out.  I knew from reading here there was no other way out.  I pretty much lived in the bathroom.  I remember when i was about a week clean,,, I was going to see my daughter and grandson.  I decided to try and put on some mascara...by the time i was done i looked like i was with KISS.  I was still shaking so bad and that crap was half way down my cheeks!!  I drank a ton of water and got up and moved around as much as i could, just never far from a bathroom!!  I have seen your strength and determination before so i know you will get thru this~
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
How are you doing?
8 Comments
I sent you a message, but I'll give the brief version here for anyone else wondering. I'm still on the path to zero, but had a bit of a hiccup in that process. As you know, my drug of choice requires a taper so cold turkey isn't a wise option at all. That said, I try to focus on the big picture (the past 2 months or so) and I see that my "hiccup" was relatively minor and while it delayed my first day of sobriety, I still am looking pretty good overall. I anticipate another attempt soon and I'm pretty hopeful. I'd say my next attempt will be within a week or two. :)
So I tried to go back and read if you ever put what your DOC was in any of your posts and I didn't see it.  Do you mind if I ask what your DOC is?
M...as you may remember, you're not alone in your struggle with this drug.  I've quit Numerous times, but I always return as it seems to be the only thing that works for my TMD.  I do acknowledge how much better I feel off of it overall, though.  Sending you love and strength, my friend.

p.s. motye51.  I don't mean to be vague; I could tell you what drug he's on, but since this is M's thread, I'll let him tell you if he chooses.  
Jade, thanks for your words. I've been back more times than I care to acknowledge, but the good news is that prior to this relapse, I had about 6 years clean. I am hoping to get another 6...or more...?! We will see. It's frustrating because for a while, it works very well on many of my mental health issues. However, as you know, that only is temporary before shifting the other way and making them much worse...as with almost any addictive drug. I hope we can keep connected while I'm getting back to "clean". I will be coming by here more often until that happens.

Motye, my drug of choice is butalbital. It's a barbiturate and I have a looooong history with it. However, this particular relapse got especially bad within the past 2 months because my dose went way up and then alcohol and benzos have come into the mix. It's really difficult because so many things are happening at once, and I've never had to deal with all three at the same time before. The alcohol might be the most concerning because even though I don't drink every day, I do drink very frequently and I hit it HARD each time. Additionally, I hit it hard on top of the benzos and barbiturates. That said, the barbiturate shouldn't be around much longer, at which point I can give even more attention to the alcohol. I'll benzo last because it's the safest in the body by itself, and it will also require a long taper.
Wow, Matt, 6 yrs is awesome!!  I have never gone that long...or even close.  With a lot of mental effort, I know you can do that again!  I was reading your journal last night (2011) where you had been dx'd with an ulcer.  I told you my story of my upwards of over 30yrs (and now even more) of NSAID intake and ended up with 2 duodenal ulcers in 2007.  Well, that all caught up with me even worse in Feb 2016 when my stomach ulcerated completely shut which led to an emergency gastric bypass!!  I was in the hosp over 11 days!  I have to take acid reducers every day now.  And like an idiot I went from Fioricet back to Fiorinal ( works so much better) because my 'new stomach' didn't hurt.  Well, nearly 4yrs later, it's starting to hurt again.  My point is, I hope you're taking acid reducers even if you're on Fioricet because with your ulcer history, the alcohol alone will eat your stomach up, and BELIEVE ME, you don't want to go through what I went through.   I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know about the alcohol, though.

Gosh, alcohol on top of the butalbital and xanax?  You were doing that yrs ago, too.  Oh, honey, that really, really worries me!  I'm proud of you for being so honest although you always have been up front about your drug intake.  

So, maybe when you run out, another Day 1 will happen?  If you could do 6 yrs before, I have Every Confidence you can do another 6...or more...or forever! :)   Hugs xo
Got it.....just wanted to get a clearer picture of what was going on. Thank you for responding.
Hi my mayberry,  How are you doing..  I'm new here.  i'm tapering off Suboxone.  I would like to support you in your desire to be drug free.  I too was clean for nearly 5 years.  I felt so free, and good.  I felt better than I had in years.  You know you were there.  It can happen for you again, just like it can happen for me..  

We have to hate the pills,   We have to want a free life, the one we were born to live.  Our bodies and minds do heal.  

Good luck... it would be a privilidge to help..

Liliansdream...
I just wanted to add I am using medicinal CBD oil.  I saw an MJ doctor and he told me he has seen many patients get off Suboxone, and other drugs by using the CBD oil.  The real stuff, from the Cannabis Plant, not the CBD from Hemp... that is helpful too, but it is the same as taking plain Hemp Oil which is extremely nutritious, and a lot cheaper.   Is that something you could look into?  
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh that combo scares me too.  I am glad to hear you are working on getting off all of them.  You  know the drill with the taper so i have confidence in you on knowing what is best.  How is the new area going?  Are you going to be talking with a therapist?
20825230 tn?1524847936
How are you doing? I'll be glad to support you, Kelly
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495284 tn?1333894042
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