When do you feel normal?

[ggg8282]

I had quit for a while but got back on the trainwreck known as addiction.  Norcos and percs.   Im back on day 8 and most of the physical stuff is gone and alot of the anxiety.  But I woke up today with this feeling like "what do i do".   Everything is more boring now.   I still dont have much of an appetite.   The last 4 days I was working, and that kept me busy but it was also hard since I felt so damn weak and distracted.   When do you feel normal?   Is it something I have to force myself to do?   Suggestions are welcome.

[clean_in_ks]

Welcome back!  And congrats on Day 8!!!

I just read your thread from May 2014 and you mentioned this "what do I do now?" thing back then, too.  We are such creatures of habit...and when we change something, we enter that "uncomfortable zone".  The only way to become more comfortable with something is to REPEAT it.  Getting out of our comfort zones is SO HARD when we are newly clean...but it's the VERY THING that will help us.  It's like breaking in a new pair of shoes....you have to walk in them for a bit before they feel good :)

We have to replace the "old" with something "new"...and I don't know anybody that likes change except a baby with a wet diaper...LOL

If social anxiety is an issue....pick a small women's meeting at first, or a speaker meeting.  Addicts are used to isolating......and that is the worst thing for us when we choose recovery.   There are many ways to interact with others....there are meet up groups galore....small groups, one on one therapy.....just something that gets you out of your own head and gives you the opportunity to make a new friend with similar interests as your own.

Keep posting....keep talking to us......and congrats on getting off the addict train :)  

[jifmoc]

I have a good friend in meetings just like you. There are lots of people in meetings like you. Those fears are the feelings that we covered w/ pills in the first place. You are stronger than you think. We gotta face those feelings sometime. They don't go away on their own. I can promise that that feeling will ease up once once you are there for a while. You asked what will help you feel better, not bored etc. Feeling better takes contrary action.Staying clean requires being in uncomfortable situations. Doing the same thing you've always done yields the same results you've always gotten.

[ggg8282]

Well congrats on that long.   I try to go to meetings but I have really bad social anxiety and it gets triggered easily with strangers.   I just sit there in perpetual fear that I get called on or have to talk to anyone.

[jifmoc]

Hey, there. Oh boy do I remember that feeling. Just so lost. And empty. Everyone was suggesting aftercare to me and I just dismissed it. Or I thought it may be a good idea for one day, but I thought I would try to feel better on my own. Ha ha. I tried to find the motivation, I tried to do everything to not think about pills on my own. I thought okay, I'll get just 2 pills from my dealer just this once. One year later I was back to full on using daily. I finally started w/ meetings, just sat my butt in a chair and listened to everyone. It was the best thing I ever did. I feel sane. Stable most of the time. No cravings (thoughts, sure, but nothing outrageous.) I've been clean for a little over 1 year and 4 months.

Stick around:)