Day 11 complete. Still not "great"

[Back2Me]

Still spiking a lower grade fever here and there. Nerves still raw. But I guess it's getting better and better little be little. Sleep is not great and eating still causes me to fall into a coma and I am still having the bathroom issues. Some of it is my fault i get ravenous hungry then eat too much and that kills my energy. I am taking vitamins and good protein shakes but really not sure it's working. Just thought I would be doing much better at this point. Probably hoping for too much with jumping CT from 160mg+ per day of oxycontin. It's just that I have never had a real fever from detoxing before. I have read that it is a symptom of detox just new to ME and I have done this about 6 times now. I don't know whaTs causing the fever and I can't go to the Doc right now. It's lower grade but still I know it's keeping me down. I am taking tylonol for it but it's just coming and going. I'm really ready to start feeling better. This is kind of discouraging.

[Back2Me]

To: Tired. Yes I have some words for you :).
How I did it and what it cost and what it's worth to me:

#1 I did this for my wife and for myself and our future. But honestly at this time mostly for her. We each have a son from a different marriage but none together. We both want to have a child together and there is no way I was going into that all numbed up. And even if we decided never to have children, the way I feel about her and what she has done for me and how we have always stuck by eachothers side she just deserves me at my best. Period. And all numbed up on oxy I was never at my best for Anyone. And it was never for the BUZZ for me it was the energy, coping, and pain relief to an extent. See we both lost our jobs when we moved in and I had to work brutal hours at home for little pay. High stress. She did too. That's how I got hooked for good. But I know it changes me when I am on it. And whether you are doing it for you or your spouse or your kids or family you know you need to do it becUse you are NOT the same person when you are taking that garbage. Just even in the 11 days I have been off tons of things are soooooo much better. I'll list them for you.
-sex life. EXTREME difference. The 1 1/2 hour numbed up romps fuled by oxy and viagra are no more but every second now is just sooooo much more intense. And now there is no need for the Viagra with the oxy gone.
-closeness. We have always been very close but you know there are just some things you just don't feel as much on oxy.
-music. Wow. I can FEEL it again. I can hear it again. I LOVED music all my life. But while on oxy could care less. Insane. Now I always have my iPod with me playing again.
- clarity. I can see what I need to do now instead of messing around with bad situations. ( see my work related post)

How I did it. I was DETERMINED. PERIOD. NOTHING wAs stopping me. Nothing. No matter how bad it hurt. And it did. Every second was pure hell the first 5-6 days. Again my wife supported my through it. You are going to need that for at least 3-4 days. But honestly by day 4 I was doing crazy shitz like driving my motorcycle in Michigan in like 35deg weather. So I had some spurts of weird energy. Then at day 5 the mental meltdows started. Crying, panic attacks like crazy!  Non stop for like 3 days of this. But I pushed. I went to my sons basketball game miserable and went tree shopping for the Xmas tree. I pushed. Then I rested. But for 3 days nothing but bed rest and hell. Grit your teeth. Get some clonopin or valium to try to sleep most of it away if you can. The bad thing Bout Valium and
That stuff is if you take enough to sleep and it works the SECOND it wears off you jerk out of sleep like your house is burning down or something in complete panic. It ***** so used it sparingly. But I had to use it. But it's WORTH IT. if you have people or someone you love it's worth it. I happen to also hold MYSELF quite dear so yeS I also did it for me. But that's ok :). I know wha I am capable of and that goes down like 80% while on oxy. As for the kids my wife did the work for them whatever they needed. But that would only be for 4-5 days. Get your mom or husband or sister or someone to help. Oh and I  also open about my problem with everyone so that helps a lot ! Don't lie about it. Just tell them. If they dont stand by you then they were never on your side in the first place.
And btw. By me missing 4 days of work and my wife 2. We now BOTH do not have jobs again. And you know what?   It's f'ing WORTH IT!!
If you need any more advice than that just hit
Me up anytime on here :). Good luck you can do this!
-

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude hang in there your not just going to spring back from 160mg of oxy expect a month or so b/4 you start feeling like yourself.....have you gotten to any meetings yet??
it will help to have somewhere to share there is nothing that will replace personal interaction
this forum is huge dont get me wrong but we all need more to fully recover try you best to get out and exercise keep up with the protein shakes and for the time being your just going to have to deal with the energy crash ...you are getting better just slowly keep posting for support good luck and God bless.......Gnarly

[luv4ev]

Oh, I almost forgot. The fever.  I ran a bit of a fever as well for a few days. I didn't go see the doc either. It got better by itself. I would say if you keep getting a fever for more than a week you may need to see a doc. Or call a nurse practitioner in your area. You can talk to a nurse for free - I don't have the number handy, it was through my local hospital I think.

[luv4ev]

This is to back2me and bygonegirl, and everyone who posted here - you guys are all very very awesome. I just remember, I was at day 11 not too long ago, it seems like yesterday. I hung in there and now I'm almost 4 months clean. This forum helped me quite a bit in the beginning especially.  I'm still suffering just a little - here and there.  I have little moments during certain weeks, where I feel a little awkward still. Just little fleeting feelings. Getting less and less and less.  I wasn't taking oxy, but I was on a significant amount of norco, daily for about six years.  But anyway, just, all in all, generally, I'm feeling pretty great. I think the first couple of weeks - give or take- you are more yukky, and more tired, then you start feeling much better. Hang in. The time is going to go by anyway, may as well make it be clean time.  I had to go back to work pretty early on as well.  I took cal-mag every day after every meal for the first two months.  I still take it, once a day. I'm convinced that taking this supplement really helped my brain recover a bit faster. Exercise and cal-mag. Good luck to all, hugs.

[tired_of_oxy]

Back2me just wanna say that you are a real inspiration to me. I read posts all the time of ppl jumping from 80,100 mgs etc but not to often do I see the 160, 180 jumps like what I'll be jumping from. I cut my dose in half down to 80 mgs yesterday and today and omg I can't believe how sick I am and that's with still taking 80 mgs a day!  I was like WTF, if it's this bad now I can only imagine it when I go ct. It felt like it did for me when I ct'd from 100 or so mgs a year ago. They aren't lying when they say each detox gets worse huh? This is gonna be the mother of wds for sure and I gotta say - I'm scared. For all my courage and determination just feeling how I've felt the last 48 hrs I'm losing my nerve and I can't let that happen. Noooooo.. I'm just astonished at how I feel, it feels awful damn close to the real thing.. Even though I'm still at 80mg. It just scares me. And my mind - when I'm at my reg dose I think I just gotta keep this positive mindset when I detox but when those wds hit it's like all that goes out the window and the demons take over my mind and I'm reminded of how ****** up I really am. I want so bad to be clean but good grief, I'm so so hooked on the ****. Can you offer me any advice? How did you make it through? Do you have small kids? I do and I hate feeling like this around them. And trying to function is a nightmare, just normal stuff feels impossible to accomplish. I really don't know how I'm gonna make it. Please give me hope. Congrats on Day 11!! Just think you NEVER have to go through that crap again. That must be a relief. Don't pick up no matter what and please make sure you remind me of the same when I'm on day 3 in January and I'm in even worse hell then I was in today. I hope to God I have the strength you do to make it through..

[Back2Me]

Maye I should just take some leviquin. I have some left. If I did have an infection thats about the best AB there is anyways.