Aa
Its time...for forever to start
Well, its time for forever to start! Time to begin my new life! Time to get this right with no looking back! Time to stop this pill merry go round and start living my life clean and in active recovery!
I had quit opiates, mostly snorting roxy, as many as I could get, which was alot!, cold turkey on Nov. 10. And started to taper my klonopin down, I was taking 3 mg a day, 1 mg pills 3 times a day. Well, the holidays came and I'm a single mom living with my parents, which is awful on so many levels and in so many ways! Mostly because we are shoved in a small spot, I haven't lived with my parents since I was 16, and now its me and my two kids! My parents are getting older and they can't handle kids, especially my youngest, she is kinda a wild child diva...so I'm expected to basically follow her around at all times. And take care of my other child. And I lost my daycare help and therefore my job. I'm expected to do all shopping, buy all groceries, cook gourmet meals atleast twice a day, and keep the house clean and immaculate! And my mom is fond of kicking us out, forcing me and my children to find a friends to stay out, get money for motel rooms or sleep in the car. Its crazy! And my mom takes more pills than I ever did, opiates along with plenty of other things and is an alcoholic and a mean drunk.
Anyway that's just some background and I'm going to try to just keep this one thread from now on. Its been quite the rollercoaster ride the last month! I ended up taking an opana around the beginning of the month, like Dec 3 or 4??? That's all I was going to do, but as we all know one is too many and a thousand never enough... I ended up back in wd and then ran out of klonopin, they cut me from 3 1 mg pills a day last month to 3 .5 pills, and I ran out like a week early. It was hell! Now, I can pick my new ones up Monday, but this month they cut me again, down to just 2 of the .5 a day. I don't know what to do about that, I tried arguing but they insisted this is a normal taper and they can't prescribe benzos anymore, they have to get everyone tapered and off due to some law with Obama care??? Ahhhhh, not a great time for that to happen! I don't even normally take them all, but was counting on them now to help with opiate wd, and now I'm running out!
So, I was out of everything! Couldn't even afford Tylenol or anything. Me and my mom were into it, its the holidays, my wild child is now out of daycare and up under me driving me crazy 24/7, I lost my job and only income, I'm going through all kinds of court stuff with my ex about our separation and custody and child support and he's just being especially mean and ridiculous! So, like 2 days after the opana, with all this going on, I come across 15 old perk 10's...and I'm so weak, I took 9 of them over 2 or 3 days! I feel so awful and stupid and weak! I have to get and stay clean this time!
Im about to flush the rest right now, wanted to post first? So my plan is to flush them, break a 8 mg sub in half, take half today and half tomorrow and then be done forever without looking back!
And I believe I have found the missing piece. AFTERCARE AND TAKING CARE OF ME!!! So this time I plan to do those things that are so hard for me. I'm going to start going back to church tomorrow. Starting Monday im going to work on getting into my therapist regularly. I'm going to start taking the meds they give me regular and the right way. Im going to be on this site every day. Im going to find and make some na meetings. I'm going to start taking care of me, which is incredibly difficult as a single mom and an only child living with my parents...BUT with work and support I can and will do this!!!
I had quit opiates, mostly snorting roxy, as many as I could get, which was alot!, cold turkey on Nov. 10. And started to taper my klonopin down, I was taking 3 mg a day, 1 mg pills 3 times a day. Well, the holidays came and I'm a single mom living with my parents, which is awful on so many levels and in so many ways! Mostly because we are shoved in a small spot, I haven't lived with my parents since I was 16, and now its me and my two kids! My parents are getting older and they can't handle kids, especially my youngest, she is kinda a wild child diva...so I'm expected to basically follow her around at all times. And take care of my other child. And I lost my daycare help and therefore my job. I'm expected to do all shopping, buy all groceries, cook gourmet meals atleast twice a day, and keep the house clean and immaculate! And my mom is fond of kicking us out, forcing me and my children to find a friends to stay out, get money for motel rooms or sleep in the car. Its crazy! And my mom takes more pills than I ever did, opiates along with plenty of other things and is an alcoholic and a mean drunk.
Anyway that's just some background and I'm going to try to just keep this one thread from now on. Its been quite the rollercoaster ride the last month! I ended up taking an opana around the beginning of the month, like Dec 3 or 4??? That's all I was going to do, but as we all know one is too many and a thousand never enough... I ended up back in wd and then ran out of klonopin, they cut me from 3 1 mg pills a day last month to 3 .5 pills, and I ran out like a week early. It was hell! Now, I can pick my new ones up Monday, but this month they cut me again, down to just 2 of the .5 a day. I don't know what to do about that, I tried arguing but they insisted this is a normal taper and they can't prescribe benzos anymore, they have to get everyone tapered and off due to some law with Obama care??? Ahhhhh, not a great time for that to happen! I don't even normally take them all, but was counting on them now to help with opiate wd, and now I'm running out!
So, I was out of everything! Couldn't even afford Tylenol or anything. Me and my mom were into it, its the holidays, my wild child is now out of daycare and up under me driving me crazy 24/7, I lost my job and only income, I'm going through all kinds of court stuff with my ex about our separation and custody and child support and he's just being especially mean and ridiculous! So, like 2 days after the opana, with all this going on, I come across 15 old perk 10's...and I'm so weak, I took 9 of them over 2 or 3 days! I feel so awful and stupid and weak! I have to get and stay clean this time!
Im about to flush the rest right now, wanted to post first? So my plan is to flush them, break a 8 mg sub in half, take half today and half tomorrow and then be done forever without looking back!
And I believe I have found the missing piece. AFTERCARE AND TAKING CARE OF ME!!! So this time I plan to do those things that are so hard for me. I'm going to start going back to church tomorrow. Starting Monday im going to work on getting into my therapist regularly. I'm going to start taking the meds they give me regular and the right way. Im going to be on this site every day. Im going to find and make some na meetings. I'm going to start taking care of me, which is incredibly difficult as a single mom and an only child living with my parents...BUT with work and support I can and will do this!!!
Yes, I'm on a cellphone too and it does get hard to get through all the comments! So I will start a new thread!
kbusymom, yea its getting weird we are separated sisters lol! Same Mom issues, I was always mothering my mother from a young age. I am sorry to hear how everything ended up with your nom, but I totally agree that my mom is toxic and I must get away from her and detach myself!
Ok, on to a new thread lol!
kbusymom, yea its getting weird we are separated sisters lol! Same Mom issues, I was always mothering my mother from a young age. I am sorry to hear how everything ended up with your nom, but I totally agree that my mom is toxic and I must get away from her and detach myself!
Ok, on to a new thread lol!
I love the last post you wrote; so proud of you. You are working it!!!
I think you have to get away from your mom too. She is toxic for you. It is strange, I was my mother's mother and always took care of her until I moved out to go to college. All I could think of was how to get away from her and all the craziness. She still drove me crazy until she died, but I learned how to detach from her to save myself- I had too.
I don't want anyone to bring you down; you have such a strong spirit and willingness- you deserve good things and good people in your life :)
I think you have to get away from your mom too. She is toxic for you. It is strange, I was my mother's mother and always took care of her until I moved out to go to college. All I could think of was how to get away from her and all the craziness. She still drove me crazy until she died, but I learned how to detach from her to save myself- I had too.
I don't want anyone to bring you down; you have such a strong spirit and willingness- you deserve good things and good people in your life :)
P.s. You know what would be really really cool? If you want? Start a new thread so those of us on cellphone can keep up and post for you. It gets difficult when the threads get really long (from cells)!
Your rocking girl!
Your rocking girl!
AMAZING!! Good things happen when you count your blessings! As Joyce Meyer says ENJOY EVERYDAY LIFE!
So I did reread my thread, and I noticed me getting stronger but I really noticed how much support and friendly people and inspiration that helped me along the way.
And, I have to say, I'm going to start looking into housing options today! I have to get away from my mom! Its just not healthy for me or my kids!
And, I kinda hate to say it, but the last few days she has been gone has been kinda awesome. I didn't realize quite what a stress she is to everyone. My son confided in me he's glad she's gone with all her drama. My daughter has been pretty well behaved, my mom makes me follow her around so she doesn't make a mess or do anything really, and half the time she follows me around while I follow my daughter and criticizes everything I do, and other times she won't get out of bed but is super demanding, do this laundry now, wash these dishes now, make sure the house is clean and fancy dinner on the table no latter than 6 ...and just on and on. Since she's been gone, I can clean what I want when I want, still try to dinner, because I have kids that like to eat lol. But its just been an amazing transformation. My daughter is allowed to actually play, I don't have to right up under her, giving her more independence and me peace lol! And today, me and my daughter talked about her getting older and how things are changing, and we agreed to have separate baths, so I gave her a bubble bath, then got me an Epsom salt bath and it was fabulous!
Then my dad called and said I know your stressed out, so I'm going to give you $100 to do Christmas shopping for the kids, so I'm about to go do that! Yay great day so far!!!
And, I have to say, I'm going to start looking into housing options today! I have to get away from my mom! Its just not healthy for me or my kids!
And, I kinda hate to say it, but the last few days she has been gone has been kinda awesome. I didn't realize quite what a stress she is to everyone. My son confided in me he's glad she's gone with all her drama. My daughter has been pretty well behaved, my mom makes me follow her around so she doesn't make a mess or do anything really, and half the time she follows me around while I follow my daughter and criticizes everything I do, and other times she won't get out of bed but is super demanding, do this laundry now, wash these dishes now, make sure the house is clean and fancy dinner on the table no latter than 6 ...and just on and on. Since she's been gone, I can clean what I want when I want, still try to dinner, because I have kids that like to eat lol. But its just been an amazing transformation. My daughter is allowed to actually play, I don't have to right up under her, giving her more independence and me peace lol! And today, me and my daughter talked about her getting older and how things are changing, and we agreed to have separate baths, so I gave her a bubble bath, then got me an Epsom salt bath and it was fabulous!
Then my dad called and said I know your stressed out, so I'm going to give you $100 to do Christmas shopping for the kids, so I'm about to go do that! Yay great day so far!!!
Hey there nursegirl,
Thanks for the comment! That just really brightened my day and made me feel better! I'm glad you see my thread as inspirational, I think I'll go back through and read it! And thanks I am pretty proud of myself!
I didn't really think of that but I do have a brand new positive attitude! Who would think that could lessen the wd soooo much! But yes I got sick and tired of pills and the merry go round I had to just jump off!
And oh my, I could talk about my mom forever. She was always an abusive addict as I grew up. She was either gone or home abusing and taking it out on me. I was always more of a mother to her than she was to me. I hated it and got out as soon as I could and got my own place at 16. That same year I had a baby. And started college. And had a cyst burst that made me pass out in class, they rushed me to hospital and I had surgery and got put on lortab. I was always against drugs and drinking because of my mom, but I was young and dumb and believed the Dr wouldn't give me anything bad lol!
So, I lived on my own since 16, then I had my precious princess diva and thought I had my happily ever after, I was clean, I had my son and daughter I had always wanted, had what I thought was my prince charming, we even moved across the country together to get married and start a new life, and everything was great!
Then I found out he was sleeping with my cousin. It shattered my entire world. And to put the icing on the cake he denied it and physically abused me that night. So I got a few of our belongings and got an a plane the next day, I really didn't have anywhere to go...so back to my parents it was! It was ok at first, my parents were helpful, I stayed clean, desperately looked for a job to get our own place, and started getting down because I couldn't find one, then my ex admitted to being with my cousin and they decided to move in together! My mom stopped being on decent behavior because we were here longer. All my old pill friends live here in this state, so it wasn't long before I couldn't handle everything and started using again.
All this to say yes, my number one goal now that I'm clean again is to get the heck out of my moms!!! But I have no job and no daycare and nobody to help. But your right its so dangerous for me to be here, with my moms out of control addiction and all the things she does to stress me out, and not letting my kids play or make a mess or do anything!
So, yes my new number one goal is getting the heck out of this house!
Thanks for the comment! That just really brightened my day and made me feel better! I'm glad you see my thread as inspirational, I think I'll go back through and read it! And thanks I am pretty proud of myself!
I didn't really think of that but I do have a brand new positive attitude! Who would think that could lessen the wd soooo much! But yes I got sick and tired of pills and the merry go round I had to just jump off!
And oh my, I could talk about my mom forever. She was always an abusive addict as I grew up. She was either gone or home abusing and taking it out on me. I was always more of a mother to her than she was to me. I hated it and got out as soon as I could and got my own place at 16. That same year I had a baby. And started college. And had a cyst burst that made me pass out in class, they rushed me to hospital and I had surgery and got put on lortab. I was always against drugs and drinking because of my mom, but I was young and dumb and believed the Dr wouldn't give me anything bad lol!
So, I lived on my own since 16, then I had my precious princess diva and thought I had my happily ever after, I was clean, I had my son and daughter I had always wanted, had what I thought was my prince charming, we even moved across the country together to get married and start a new life, and everything was great!
Then I found out he was sleeping with my cousin. It shattered my entire world. And to put the icing on the cake he denied it and physically abused me that night. So I got a few of our belongings and got an a plane the next day, I really didn't have anywhere to go...so back to my parents it was! It was ok at first, my parents were helpful, I stayed clean, desperately looked for a job to get our own place, and started getting down because I couldn't find one, then my ex admitted to being with my cousin and they decided to move in together! My mom stopped being on decent behavior because we were here longer. All my old pill friends live here in this state, so it wasn't long before I couldn't handle everything and started using again.
All this to say yes, my number one goal now that I'm clean again is to get the heck out of my moms!!! But I have no job and no daycare and nobody to help. But your right its so dangerous for me to be here, with my moms out of control addiction and all the things she does to stress me out, and not letting my kids play or make a mess or do anything!
So, yes my new number one goal is getting the heck out of this house!
Hey there sweetie, I'm a little late to your thread, but I wanted to offer my support and prayers also. This thread is TRULY an inspiration, I hope you're VERY proud of yourself!
You say you're surprised that the w/ds have been manageable and not too bad....you know why??? Because of your new and improved positive attitude!! It really DOES make all the difference in the world! You were fed up, sick and tired and ready to do this! And you ARE doing it!
Enjoy some long epsom salts baths after the lil one goes to sleep while your Mom is away. Where is she staying? Any idea if/when she's coming back? I know that right now, it's one day at a time, but once you've gotten through the acute process of detox, I would strongly recommend sitting down and starting to put a plan in place as far as how you're going to get out on your own and out from under Mom's thumb. Start formulating a plan to get there, it will take time.
Not only does it sound like the way she TREATS you isn't all that healthy, but you being in that environment will put a strain on your sobriety, both because of the stress, and also being around someone in active (not to mention very out of control) addiction. Just make that a priority in the near future. Look into what resources may be available to you. Think of how NICE it would be to have your own place, with the lil diva! :0) Even an efficiency apt would be something, it would feel so good to be free of your Mom's grips, and maybe you'll eventually be able to enjoy a new and improved relationship with your Mom! That would be a win-win! Do you have any other supportive family or friends in your life that you can talk to? You can never have too many people in your army!
I'm cheering for you too....you're doing simply amazing! Keep the updates coming! Blessings to you hon!
You say you're surprised that the w/ds have been manageable and not too bad....you know why??? Because of your new and improved positive attitude!! It really DOES make all the difference in the world! You were fed up, sick and tired and ready to do this! And you ARE doing it!
Enjoy some long epsom salts baths after the lil one goes to sleep while your Mom is away. Where is she staying? Any idea if/when she's coming back? I know that right now, it's one day at a time, but once you've gotten through the acute process of detox, I would strongly recommend sitting down and starting to put a plan in place as far as how you're going to get out on your own and out from under Mom's thumb. Start formulating a plan to get there, it will take time.
Not only does it sound like the way she TREATS you isn't all that healthy, but you being in that environment will put a strain on your sobriety, both because of the stress, and also being around someone in active (not to mention very out of control) addiction. Just make that a priority in the near future. Look into what resources may be available to you. Think of how NICE it would be to have your own place, with the lil diva! :0) Even an efficiency apt would be something, it would feel so good to be free of your Mom's grips, and maybe you'll eventually be able to enjoy a new and improved relationship with your Mom! That would be a win-win! Do you have any other supportive family or friends in your life that you can talk to? You can never have too many people in your army!
I'm cheering for you too....you're doing simply amazing! Keep the updates coming! Blessings to you hon!
Thanks Pat! It is what it is! And you won't find me in the gym anytime soon but walks outside sound great! And I did sleep pretty good last night with my nice heated blanket lol! Hope you slept well too!
Exactly. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed. Think about what you did do and not what you didn't do. I could barely get out of bed on Day 5 or 6 and then when I did, it was just forcing myself every step of the way.
It would drive me crazy when people were saying they went to the gym. Are you freaking kidding me? I would wait until it got light out and go for a walk around the block and I could barely do that.
Anyway, we are all different. And remember "It is what it is". lol, I really like that saying.
I hope you sleep well tonight.
It would drive me crazy when people were saying they went to the gym. Are you freaking kidding me? I would wait until it got light out and go for a walk around the block and I could barely do that.
Anyway, we are all different. And remember "It is what it is". lol, I really like that saying.
I hope you sleep well tonight.
Kbusymom,
yea sounds like we have the same daughter and same kind of mom lol! Its no wonder we are so alike!
Just an update for everyone
I'm feeling ok. I'm not going through any acute withdrawal but post withdrawal and my crazy life and circumstances and my crazy mother are all making me a little on edge, but physically I'm pretty good! I think its how the whole last month went, along with my antidepressants and anxiety meds and positive attitude and my wonderful mh family here, and knowing I'm doing this for myself and my children, and being able to surrender it to god. But all in all I'm doing ok. Went out today and got a big heated blanket for the bed, figured it would be like a huge heating pad for my body aches and keep the cold away for me and my daughter so we can sleep well! Pretty excited lol!
yea sounds like we have the same daughter and same kind of mom lol! Its no wonder we are so alike!
Just an update for everyone
I'm feeling ok. I'm not going through any acute withdrawal but post withdrawal and my crazy life and circumstances and my crazy mother are all making me a little on edge, but physically I'm pretty good! I think its how the whole last month went, along with my antidepressants and anxiety meds and positive attitude and my wonderful mh family here, and knowing I'm doing this for myself and my children, and being able to surrender it to god. But all in all I'm doing ok. Went out today and got a big heated blanket for the bed, figured it would be like a huge heating pad for my body aches and keep the cold away for me and my daughter so we can sleep well! Pretty excited lol!
We sure do!! Dysfunction is rampant in my family for sure :)
My daughter is my only and she is more than enough. She is so awesome, yet so dramatic at the same time!! I love her to pieces, but boy, can she ever push my buttons and drive me crazy.
My daughter is my only and she is more than enough. She is so awesome, yet so dramatic at the same time!! I love her to pieces, but boy, can she ever push my buttons and drive me crazy.
Tooter,
I'm that same way to an extent, I might not be as fast as you lol, but I am the one that had to have everything perfect and am used to running circles around everyone, but I am so weak and have no energy and no motivation...but I'm getting things done. Slowly and one at a time lol but I am getting some things done! And it is so hard for me to just relax and take things easy, but I am trying. I have to learn to get done what I can and stop living up to everyone else expectations. Easier said than done lol! And I have to get a job and daycare somehow asap so I can move out of this house and get away from my mother! That is my goal right now! And no my ex doesn't pay any child support although he's ordered to, and now he is trying to fight me for custody lol!
kbusymom,
yep I'm pretty sure we live the same life lol! We should talk more, we have entirely too much in common! Is your daughter your only child?
I'm that same way to an extent, I might not be as fast as you lol, but I am the one that had to have everything perfect and am used to running circles around everyone, but I am so weak and have no energy and no motivation...but I'm getting things done. Slowly and one at a time lol but I am getting some things done! And it is so hard for me to just relax and take things easy, but I am trying. I have to learn to get done what I can and stop living up to everyone else expectations. Easier said than done lol! And I have to get a job and daycare somehow asap so I can move out of this house and get away from my mother! That is my goal right now! And no my ex doesn't pay any child support although he's ordered to, and now he is trying to fight me for custody lol!
kbusymom,
yep I'm pretty sure we live the same life lol! We should talk more, we have entirely too much in common! Is your daughter your only child?
My daughter is 8 and I still can't pee in peace; it drives me so crazy!!!
Our lives just keep getting closer, lol.
Our lives just keep getting closer, lol.
tiger, I could always work circles around anybody. I would have our house vacuumed , dusted and moped before my husband went to work. I could do it all in 2 hours, we have 2300 ft living space and I could do it all REALLY good before I started on the pills 2 years ago. Now when I feel good I still can. I just need the motivation. It's got to where it's hard to come by. But once I get started I still can and I'm 71. I've got a washing that would choke a horse! I'm the kind that has to have everything perfect. I finely got a lady to come every 2 weeks and I can redo some of the things I don't think she does good enough and keep up with everything. I want you to able to eat off of my floors. So I would have plenty to do to help with the drug thing if I could walk better. I'm still real weak. I've said all this to tell you to relax and enjoy things instead of letting things rule you. Does you ex-husband pay child support? Since Obama is handing out all that money, see if you can get some housing support. You really need to get out of that house and away from your mother. You can't help her and she will just drag you down. I really do have a sense of humor but I've missed placed it today. Your in my prayers. God Bless
Ok I know I've posted like 5 times on here this morning LOL! But I just have alot to say this morning lol!! I was posting here, and reading here, and it just kinda hit me...im only really on day 4 with no opiates, but I feel ok. Thanks to the grace of God and you awesome angels here, I really haven't had any unbearable symptoms this time!!! It might also be because of how the month before went, I quit my doc, roxy, Nov 10, and then had a few perks then subs, which I was thinking of as a relapse, and guess I still do because I'm counting my clean time from after my last opiate of any kind, but maybe it helped me, kind of almost like a taper!??? I don't know, but I know I went through terrible wd symptoms after I quit everything Nov 10, but I seem like be doing ok this time...still have the energy issues and a little achy but that's all. And the whole month, I had been taking vitamins and supplements and all my psychiatrist medicine which I stop taking when I'm on tons of opiates...and after reading on here I went ahead and added the gabapentin, I don't know exactly what it is, but I feel ok! Kind of like the superhero you guys telling me I am lol!
Oh pat, I just reread your post and you are supportive and hilarious! My favorite lol! And yes I will work on my superhero shield lol, and when my mom acts up, or someone irritates me, or my phone gets cut off, or I have a craving I will get out my superhero shield and all will be right with the world! Lol! If you want, I can make you one too! Oh, and my daughter is 4, just turned 4. she's precious and I love her to pieces, but she is definitely my lil wild child diva! No naps, wants to stay up all night, wants to be right up under me at all times, even if I'm just peeing lol! And she is just full of energy and wants your constant attention! You know how when your younger your mom says one day you will understand, one day you have a kid 10 times worse...yea well that's my daughter lol! My son was totally opposite and chill and laid back lol! But I guess I can't say much because my daughter diva is me made over but times ten lol!
And yes, I've always had sleeping issues too so maybe she does too??
And yes, I've always had sleeping issues too so maybe she does too??
Well just to add to all the fun heehee, not, I just realized my phone got cut off today, I didn't have the money to pay it on time. Its always something huh LOL Well its ok, I'm going to look at it as a good and positive thing! At least I can still get on here it seems. And no drug pushers can call me now haha!
Well just to add to all the fun heehee, not, I just realized my phone got cut off today, I didn't have the money to pay it on time. Its always something huh LOL Well its ok, I'm going to look at it as a good and positive thing! At least I can still get on here it seems. And no drug pushers can call me now haha!
Gnarly, oh mg hello! I've missed you! I need all the support and help i can get and your one of my favorite people! You have truly been there since the very beginning! You know how hard headed I am! But yes I have finally decided to just SURRENDER! And I'm already feeling much better!
pat, you are so funny! But there is alot I have to get done. I'm not getting all my usual crazy amount of stuff like I did on pills, but I guess I am living by your motto it is what it is and just trying to get the important things done and keep it moving and keep distracted! I have so much drama and stuff constantly going on at home, I'm trying to feed into it or jump in the middle like I have many times...trying to just be chill, surrender, and like you say, remember it is what it is and keep moving forward for me!
pat, you are so funny! But there is alot I have to get done. I'm not getting all my usual crazy amount of stuff like I did on pills, but I guess I am living by your motto it is what it is and just trying to get the important things done and keep it moving and keep distracted! I have so much drama and stuff constantly going on at home, I'm trying to feed into it or jump in the middle like I have many times...trying to just be chill, surrender, and like you say, remember it is what it is and keep moving forward for me!
My god, I get me exercise just reading everything you do in a day.
You sure make people realize that you just have to say "It is what it is" and do the best you can.
I lived with my parents when my son was first born and it's always hard but I sure had lots of help from all of my family. I don't know what I would have done without them.
How old is your daughter? I can remember having to go and stay with my son until he fell asleep and I would usually end up falling asleep.
He always had a rough time falling asleep but so have I. I was on sleeping pills when I was 16 and they didn't work. You had to knock me out.
Still like that. I just can't turn it off.
Just keep doing what you are doing and put that super power shield up when your Mom gets like that. It will just bounce off of you.
You sure make people realize that you just have to say "It is what it is" and do the best you can.
I lived with my parents when my son was first born and it's always hard but I sure had lots of help from all of my family. I don't know what I would have done without them.
How old is your daughter? I can remember having to go and stay with my son until he fell asleep and I would usually end up falling asleep.
He always had a rough time falling asleep but so have I. I was on sleeping pills when I was 16 and they didn't work. You had to knock me out.
Still like that. I just can't turn it off.
Just keep doing what you are doing and put that super power shield up when your Mom gets like that. It will just bounce off of you.
HEY Girl good to see you finely surrender and start doing the things that keep us all clean im so proud of you for breaking down the bearers that keep us sick work the N/A get a sponsor and work the 12 steps it will truly set you free and always remember we all do this just for today you only need to focus on this one day at a time keep posting for support we all want to see you get clean and more so stay that way good luck and God bless........Gnarly
Oh how I wish my daughter would go to sleep at a decent time! I have tried everything! She is so used to being up under me, thanks to my mom making me follow her around and even worse we share a bedroom at my parents, I've tried leaving her alone and making her sleep but she will cry for me for hours and even if I'm in here, everything turned off pretending to be asleep, she still stays up to atlesst. 10 pm. I told you she is a lil diva!!! My son I never had problems with, he went to bed at 8 every night, and puts himself to sleep like he had for years! I just don't know what I'm going to do with my little diva, because she needs to get more sleep and I have to have some time to myself before I go crazy;!!
I want to come have dinner at your house!! It sounds yummy.
I would be tired after your busy day too. I hope you can get the kids to bed and have your "me" time. I am adamant about my daughter going to bed at 8 during the week; she needs her sleep, but I really need my "me" time. Some nights she reads in her bed for awhile, but I get my time. Are your kids on a schedule for bedtime?
I bet we could go on forever with crazy mom stories too. My mom committed suicide in 03 and it was actually a blessing. She was finally at peace and could no longer hurt others in our family. I was finally able to forgive her as well, I was able to accept that she was sick and incapable of loving anyone.
Keep posting and taking care of yourself; this is your time to focus on you!! Proud of you, you are Superwoman!!
I would be tired after your busy day too. I hope you can get the kids to bed and have your "me" time. I am adamant about my daughter going to bed at 8 during the week; she needs her sleep, but I really need my "me" time. Some nights she reads in her bed for awhile, but I get my time. Are your kids on a schedule for bedtime?
I bet we could go on forever with crazy mom stories too. My mom committed suicide in 03 and it was actually a blessing. She was finally at peace and could no longer hurt others in our family. I was finally able to forgive her as well, I was able to accept that she was sick and incapable of loving anyone.
Keep posting and taking care of yourself; this is your time to focus on you!! Proud of you, you are Superwoman!!
Ahhhhhhhh....me time...something I need desperately but as a single mom with no support its just impossible! I'm feeling so ahhhh today! I took a shower, got akk dressed, went to the store, took my daughter to the Dr, cooked a big dinner, Hawaiian chicken, jasmine rice, corn, biscuits and finished the dishes and all our laundry done. So I had lots of energy today for some reason. But now I'm tired and hurting and I really want to take an Epsom salt bath or even hit a meeting, but I can't, because I'm busy taking care of my kids, my moms gone crazy...ahhhh I just posted here to vent...right now this is all I have!
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