Day 2 and Not Doin Good

[cpdave]

Hey guys I am in day 2 of oxy withdrawls and I'm not doin good have vitamins and stuff but the back pain and the anxiety is real bad.I guess I just need some support.By the I'm at work was suppost to be off and got called in couldn't tuirn it down due to bills.

[jimimiddlefinger]

Oh god ya man I bet it was the coffee! I'm a coffee hound too. I knew that would make me jittery so I completely cut it out. And I am jonesing for a cup of Java lol, but I'm gonna wait a couple days. I'll tell you what it ain't easy to quit. I gathered from your early posts that you, like many here, have real pain issues to deal with and that's how you ended up where you are. Because of that you should cut yourself alot of slack over your slip. Can't say the same for me. Oh yeah I got put on pills because of chronic back issue. But my back wasn't the reason I was doin them. I was gettin high, no more no less. No excuses for me. I'm just a dips**t lol. Hey you might be a half step behind now but we'll wait for ya. Lotta people on here pulling for you. Me, I'm doin better today (knock on wood). I hit a wall yesterday afternoon. I went form ok in the a.m. to feeling horrible by the afternoon. It was like a wave, a reminder that I'm not better yet and I need to be aware of that. But I push on. You at work today?

[cpdave]

Hey brother thanks for writing that I no not to beat myself up to bad hell we are addicts its what we do and were damn good at it lol I don't feel bad today and that's what is messing with me cause I'm sure its because of me takin those damn perc's last night so if I add a few days so be it but I'm tellin you for some reason the anxiety was horrible gloom and doom type crap thinkin I was havin a heart attack but I think it was from so much coffe I drink a lot of it and when I'm takin pills it doesn't bother me so I guess I need to cut that out a while.I guess if it was easy to quit pills we would have done it along time ago or maybe not...lol.How r u today anyway

[jimimiddlefinger]

Jeez Dave don't beat yourself up man, you're human. Look I said just the other day that although I had cut ties with my supplier and wouldn't seek them out, if somebody walked up to me in the WalMart parking lot with a 40 and said "Hey I think you dropped this"......I can't cay with ANY conviction that I wouldn't take it. Or if I happened to find one rollin around in the ashtray of one of my vehicles. I am not near that strong yet. That will come with time. We make mistakes, we deal with em right? Just move on. It probably won't prolong your wds. your almost out of the woods. Funny I had really bad anxiety last nite 2. Between like 8 and well after midnite. Heart was occasionally boppin and my legs were shaking. Just day 3 messin w/ us I guess. You'll get past this. Go easy bro and hit mr back when ya can..

peace

[cpdave]

Well I screwed up last night the anxiety was a 9 out of 10 the physicall stuff was not to bad and I kept tellin myself that it was all in my head and yada yada anyhow guess what I found in a drawer......5 10's and what do u think I did....drum roll.....I took em..What an idiot now let me tell u that's a far cry from what I use to take but the point is I had a weak moment and took them and the funny thing is thay did absolutely nothing so I'm an idiot had 3 day's and blew it but ayt least when more was offered to me this am I turned them down.I feellike such a loser.....good god will I ever get this right

[jimimiddlefinger]

four wheelers and booze! That's quite a combo hahaha. Actually I did dirt bikes and booze and that' kinda what got me here today lol. They tore up my back and then the Dr. gave me the pills and I liked the pills so I got more pills and finally better pills. Then it was dirtbikes and pills. Awe **** I made a wrong turn somewhere. Well I hope your doin better than me today man. I must have hit a wall. I layed on the couch all day. Woke up thinking I was headin out of the woods boy was I wrong. Tomorrow will be a better day though. You stay strong.

Hope you had a great fathers day (you to Matt)

Peace

[jimimiddlefinger]

Lol Matt here I thought my posts were just rambling from the lunatic fringe. Glad I could insire someone. If I did it was worth it then. Your doin awesome dude six days done! When I hit that I'm packing my **** up and heading to the mts.