Aa
hey everyone I just have a few things I'd like to ask ur opinions s about
I have been clean for 15 months and I'm so proud but I did something so stupid and I'm not sure who to talk to about it. I'm hoping you guys remembere and are willing to help. I have been craving H for the last couple weeks I'm not sure why, it could be due to stress are many other things. Now the stupid thing I did wastry to shoot my suboxone. I have never done it before and I will never do it again but I keep thinking that if I use one more time it won't hurt me. I know that one more time will hHurt me big big time but I don't have to shake this feeling. Another reason I'm asking for helpor even suggestions is when I did that with my suboxin my arm got real swollen and black and blue and I'm afraid it may be an abscESS. I have never had one before so I don't know what it looks like. But all this looks like is my normal alarm with a bump underneath it. Keep in mind I only did this once but I'm still scaRed shitlesss. please please please don't judge me I really only want some help, I have been doing so well but things in life have been really really hard for me thank you to anyone who has any input and I welcome all suggestions. And just an FYI it took a really lot of convincing myself to write this because I didn't want you guys to think any less of me!!! again thank you in advance for the advice or help
Hey Maria,
I remember you well and it's nice to see you back. Whatever you want to call it, the important thing is that you recognized how dangerous it was and only did it once.
I don't know how it works there but I know here if they catch you abusing, you would be cut off of the suboxone totally and you don't want that to happen.
What are your plans for coming off of it or do you stay on it indefinitely?
I am just curious how it works.
Please post and let us know how you are doing.
I remember you well and it's nice to see you back. Whatever you want to call it, the important thing is that you recognized how dangerous it was and only did it once.
I don't know how it works there but I know here if they catch you abusing, you would be cut off of the suboxone totally and you don't want that to happen.
What are your plans for coming off of it or do you stay on it indefinitely?
I am just curious how it works.
Please post and let us know how you are doing.
I also agree that this is a relapse. The intent was to get high or it wouldn't have happened. It's great you posted though. Keep pushing forward to the goal of sobriety and true happiness.
I think NURSEGIRL is right on the money.... Acceptance & admission plays a huge part in recovery....
She makes a valid point bc pills are my DOC but if I go smoke crack today I have relapsed.
you can do this... Get your after care in place
She makes a valid point bc pills are my DOC but if I go smoke crack today I have relapsed.
you can do this... Get your after care in place
I'm glad you or determined not to do it again. If I remember right you are taking Subutex, if you slam Suboxone it is a horrible nightmare. If I am right, talk to your doc about switching to Suboxone film. Though people may have found a way with the film now, nothing surprises me anymore. Anyway, those I have worked with using iv bupe are dead or zombies, that is a dangerous place to go, no matter how many people say it won't hurt. You already know that, just wanted to agree with you. It sounds like a program change is in order, step it up a notch. You are doing so well, life has to be better than those last months of H and detox. Use the subs to dig deep roots in sober friends and activities. You can pull through this, it really is worth it. You came to the forum right after I did, I totally remember you getting a grip on your life. Do it again, reach out, make sacrifices, whatever it takes. You can do it.
"he swelling has gone down And isnt hurting anymore.i do go to counselimg and tools I learned have helped sooo much!!! I'm glad I didnt go back to using bc I think. NO I kno I would have been using again i would have lost EVERYTHING!!!!"
Well, to be honest, you did kind of go back to using....it's hard to accept that you've relapsed, but I think it's important that you're honest with yourself about it, and not try to find ways to NOT call this what it is. Relapse doesn't have to happen with your former drug of choice.
In this case, you were displaying addictive behavior by shooting the suboxone to deal with the triggers you were having. You asked drug abusers if it would be okay...obviously it goes without saying that you knew what they would say. If you weren't in the middle of a relapse, and still fighting the urges and triggers, you would have asked different people. Essentially you had your mind made up already and didn't want anyone to talk you out of it. It's the behavior IMO that classifies a relapse.
You need to regroup, formulate a new plan, learn everything you can about the signs of relapse (there are many stages), how to identify it, and how to handle it. You also need to keep up with your aftercare, and like IMDONE said, you need to cut ALL ties with people who are actively using. You have some tweaking to do with your recovery plan.
You can and will get back on track. If you ever find yourself in this position again (hopefully not)...you need to post and reach out for help BEFORE you talk yourself into using. Reach out to the right people, the people who will respect your sobriety as much as you do.
It's great that you didn't take your relapse any farther, that's a great sign...but you have to keep your guard up more than ever. I'm pulling for you!!
Well, to be honest, you did kind of go back to using....it's hard to accept that you've relapsed, but I think it's important that you're honest with yourself about it, and not try to find ways to NOT call this what it is. Relapse doesn't have to happen with your former drug of choice.
In this case, you were displaying addictive behavior by shooting the suboxone to deal with the triggers you were having. You asked drug abusers if it would be okay...obviously it goes without saying that you knew what they would say. If you weren't in the middle of a relapse, and still fighting the urges and triggers, you would have asked different people. Essentially you had your mind made up already and didn't want anyone to talk you out of it. It's the behavior IMO that classifies a relapse.
You need to regroup, formulate a new plan, learn everything you can about the signs of relapse (there are many stages), how to identify it, and how to handle it. You also need to keep up with your aftercare, and like IMDONE said, you need to cut ALL ties with people who are actively using. You have some tweaking to do with your recovery plan.
You can and will get back on track. If you ever find yourself in this position again (hopefully not)...you need to post and reach out for help BEFORE you talk yourself into using. Reach out to the right people, the people who will respect your sobriety as much as you do.
It's great that you didn't take your relapse any farther, that's a great sign...but you have to keep your guard up more than ever. I'm pulling for you!!
GOOD. And like I said, let hubby carry half of the issues you're dealing with regarding your son. Let him help (if you aren't already). A marriage is 50/50 all the way.
Oh, and again, stay away from those folks who are offering you the h. They aren't friends, and they don't have your best interests at heart, so you know you're better off without them. Cut all contact. :)
Oh, and again, stay away from those folks who are offering you the h. They aren't friends, and they don't have your best interests at heart, so you know you're better off without them. Cut all contact. :)
the swelling has gone down And isnt hurting anymore.i do go to counselimg and tools I learned have helped sooo much!!! I'm glad I didnt go back to using bc I think. NO I kno I would have been using again i would have lost EVERYTHING!!!!
It sounds like you're reaching out to the right folks, this place included, so don't lose touch with the aftercare you have in place. Keep going, and good for you for at least realizing immediately after what a stupid move this was. Sadly, this kind of thing happens a lot with addiction/recovery. But PLEASE get that bump on your arm checked out. I wouldn't wait on that.
And try to find some help and/or coping skills with the other issues you have going on in your life right now. Let your husband take over dealing with your son for the time being, as this will continue to "trigger" you if you don't find a way to address all of that in a practical and thoughtful way.
Oh, and WHY do you still maintain contact with former users? Please don't put yourself in that kind of position again. You need to STOP seeing those people. Now.
And try to find some help and/or coping skills with the other issues you have going on in your life right now. Let your husband take over dealing with your son for the time being, as this will continue to "trigger" you if you don't find a way to address all of that in a practical and thoughtful way.
Oh, and WHY do you still maintain contact with former users? Please don't put yourself in that kind of position again. You need to STOP seeing those people. Now.
Don't listen to them! They are wrong on this one. Ditch that rig immediately because it is a trigger! You don't need it anymore! Stay here with us and get to a meeting ASAP, even if you've never gone before
Using will not change whatever is happening with your son, just gonna make it worse. Not the solution! You can do this!
Using will not change whatever is happening with your son, just gonna make it worse. Not the solution! You can do this!
Hi Maria, I'm really sorry that you are in this position. I agree with the above. Make sure you really watch that bump and seek medical care at any sign of infection. Don't delay or mess around. Also, please do seek some sort of support, meeting or counseling & such. 15 months is amazing, and I know that it took a lot of hard work to get there. Get yourself back on track, and stay strong. Take care! Sending prayers to you!
Sry finished too soo. many people told me it would be fine and I was stupid enough to believe them. I only tried it once and felt it wasn't worth it and it was also setting me back in my recovery. that was the one and only time I did it and then I threw everything in the garbage I spoke to my husband about it and I also went to a meeting and spoke to them. I felt as though I was back today one, but I wasn't willing to let 16 months to write down the drain. moving forward I won't be that naive and I certainly won't do something that's going to hinder my process in recovery. I appreciate any and all advice I could be given, so I'd like to say thank you now. there were Many times that I was faced with people asking me to do H and I stuck to my guns and I said no. So I can honestly say in the 16 months I've been clean I have not touched anything besides my suboxone
thank you for talking to me I really really really appreciate it I've been a part of this site since I've gone and clean from heroin and that was about 16 months ago I stopped coming on because of so many problems with my son. Things got really really stressful and the problem started when I found an old Rig.I asked around and many too many people told me that it would be fine
Hi there, sorry to hear of the issues you're having. It sounds like you really need to get to a councillor and/or a meeting REALLY soon, like today. You need some serious support right now to help sort out what's going on. In your mind you have already relapsed! I'm so afraid for you honey! After 15 months your tolerance is way down and if you use now, you could easily OD and die. Don't give up and don't give in! Get help! As far as the abscess goes, signs of infection are swelling, redness, pain and hot/warm to touch
If this is the case go to the doctor or ER so you can get antibiotics before it spreads to the bloodstream. VERY DANGEROUS! Don't shoot sub! It is not an IV med and will damage veins and tissues. I am praying for you, no judgment. Get some help today!
If this is the case go to the doctor or ER so you can get antibiotics before it spreads to the bloodstream. VERY DANGEROUS! Don't shoot sub! It is not an IV med and will damage veins and tissues. I am praying for you, no judgment. Get some help today!
Hey, we are not here to judge. I am glad to see you reaching out!! What have you been doing in terms of aftercare?? You have to have someone /something to reach out to when the cravings get bad! Im glad you realize that you messed up! Someone will be along soon that knows about the bump. Please just know that one more time could be your last time. Hang tight... People will be around soon to answer this.
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