Hello All

[helpmymarriage]

I haven't been on here for a while. I have been fighting with this stupid drug for a while (Tramadol). After injuring my back I ended up becoming addicted and relying on the drug to rid me of my pain. How are ways that people can get off of these and stay off of them? I am going to the pain management clinic, they finally got my refferal and called me for an appointment, my apt. is next Friday. I wish it was sooner. I notice that when I am not taking the tramadol my pain is ten fold. I don't want to ruin my marriage anymore than I have with the lying and hiding this drug. I want to make my marriage work. I know this has put my wife through the ringer and I thank God for her not leaving me. I am going to go to the groups that I need to go to but they didn't want me to start until I went to the pain management clinic. I called today and had the pharmacy discontinue my tramadol refills. It took allot to do it but I need to do it so I don't have that to go back to. What are other things that a person can do for the pain when OTC does not seem to help it? Thank you all for reading this. God Bless all of you.

[helpmymarriage]

Thank you for replying again. I did see your post on the tram journals. That does sound like a good idea. I will have to try to find some journals to print off for her. I know that this will not be forgotten in a very long time, if ever. I hope that she won't resent me the rest of our lives. I do hope that over time we can make our marriage work and that she will stay with me. Without her my world would crash and wouldn't be worth anything.

[FourJays]

You are right, she does deserve much more.  And it sounds like you are committed to giving her more.  It is good that she knows and at least you don't have to start from the beginning with the explanations.  And the lies and deceit over the years; these are things you cannot change now.  All you can do is make a commitment to getting clean and staying clean - first for YOU, and then for your marriage.  I just posted a comment on the Tram journals wherein I suggested an idea that may help in your situation.  I wont duplicate all of it here, but do want to add something.  If you can get some information for her to read about Tramadol, i.e., from testimonies in the journals of people who have battled with it especially, it may help her to understand and get some insight into what this drug does to people.  Not so your actions can be forgotten and/or condoned in any way, but maybe at least forgiven in time.  And in the meantime, go forward with your quit plan and show her you are committed to this.  In any case, what is most important here IMO is YOU first and foremost.  This will be a tough battle, but every minute of it will be well worth what you will get in return - a lifetime FREE of this drug, a restoration of your health and well-being, and hopefully a long and happy forever after with your wife.  Good luck!

[helpmymarriage]

Congrats on being off for that long, that is so awesome :). It does give allot of people hope. This drug is very dark and controling. I can't believe I got where I was on it. A person doesn't even know it's sneaking up on them. My wife does know. She has threatened to leave me and everything since it. Mainly because of my lies and hiding it from her. I was taking it on and off since 2011 but my pain got bad enough I finally kept taking it for not quite the past year. I was only taking about 8 a day but I'm sure it would keep progressing which I do not want. I am quitting cold turkey. Which probably isn't the best but I can't do this anymore. I want to make my wife happy again and remind her why we are married. I want to be the best husband I can possibly be for her. And I pray and hope every day that I can do this and I can make our marriage work. She doesn't not believe me when I say that right now. But she is still by my side. It breaks my heart to see what I have put her through. She deserves much more. Thank you for replying to my post. And again, awesome job!!

[helpmymarriage]

My wife does no about the addiction. My lies that I told her one day came to a head. She does know. She wants me off of them too. She was just at my mork and when I walked her to her car she said she didn't want to feel like this anymore, I told her I don't either. Then she said, your the one that caused it. I told her I feel like crap for it and I can't believe I did it. She said she didn't believe me that I feel bad for it. She doesn't think that I love her because how could I do this to someone I love. It breaks my heart. She's all I have, she's my world and my everything. My life without her would be nothing. I hope that we can work through this and make our marriage work.

[FourJays]

Hello, yes; getting off of Tramadol is very, very difficult, but it CAN be done.  I was prescribed this med over 15 years ago for back pain.  I became tolerant to it very quickly and began using more than prescribed in order to not just help with the pain, but to avoid the withdrawals.  To this day I do still have pain in both my upper and lower back and had fusion surgery last summer.  I ended up with several other opiates added to the 'mix' over the years, but the Tramadol was the one constant; one I could never give up; and by far the most difficult to get off of.  I very much agree with what the above poster said (and experienced the same thing), as far as increased pain during the detox and early w/d stage.  However within a short period after that my pain levels decreased quite a bit; and are now managed with OTC and other non-narcotic remedies.  There are good options out there - the narcotic (or synthetic narcotics such as the Tramadol), just DON'T want us to think so.  SO much of it is a mental game.  By the time I quit the Tramadol, I was taking massive doses and had been for over 10 years.  I never thought I would be able to have a life without it, but I was wrong.  I am 8 months free of it now and am able to manage my pain quite well without it, or any opiate.  You CAN do this.  How long have you been taking the Tram and how much do you take per day?  Are you thinking of tapering off or quitting cold turkey?  I can relate to the marriage issue also.  My husband 'knew' over the years that I was taking pills because of all of my medical issues, but he had NO idea of how much or how deeply addicted I was.  On day 2 of my detox I "spilled it" all to him; told him everything.  I am quite sure it explained many things to him.  Since that day he has been my number 1 supporter and there is absolutely no way I would be where I am now without him.  Does your wife know about the Tram and/or the fact that you have become dependent on it?  I know it is very scary to think about telling her (if she is not already aware); but you might be surprised - I know I was!  No matter how you decide to do this, i.e., taper or c/t, the fact is that you CAN.  It will not be easy.  Tramadol does NOT like to let go; it's really, really evil in that way.  But it will be worth it I promise you.  This site and the Emily journals are full of support and great information; you have come to the right place for sure.  Stay close here; you are NOT alone :))

[glamisgirl]

Well getting off these pills and staying off I feel comes down to a hole lot of hard work and really being done with it. I'm not really sure what other ways there are to relieve pain and maybe some other people on here will have ideas of things that help but what I have found is that going through detox your pain will be 10 x worse because your brain is trying to trick you into thinking you need those pills. Once I got past that I have had little to no pain and I have RA which causes severe pain. I don't know if I've been lucky but that has just been my experience. I have heard many people say on here you have to give it a good month to really re-evaluate what your pain level is. I'm sure someone will chime in and be able to explain this better then I could. The pills long term actually start causing more pain.
So does your wife know about your addiction? Maybe sit down and really talk to her about the struggle you are going through to get off these pills. She could be a good support system for you and from what you say she has stood by you so I'm guessing she would be willing to support you in this recovery as well.