Question for everyone who has been through detox hell

[JennyP34]

Ok, I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way....so I'm going to start off by saying that no part of me wants to off myself...I'm completely afraid of dying, so I want you to know that this question in no way implies that I am planning or even thinking about offing myself.

That being said, I'm 4 days clean right now...I'm also completely and utterly miserable. I can't get out of bed, except to occasionally hobble to the bathroom or step outside for a cig. I'm crying like a damn baby, because I can't function at all, can't push myself to do anything, and my stomach, gut and ovaries are hurting and aching so badly that I am crying every time I even try to move. For whatever reason, I'm experiencing "brain zaps" which I usually experience when dropping my antidepressant out of the mix...but I haven't done that, so I have no clue what's up with that!? I'm laying here absolutely miserable and in god awful pain...and nothing is helping. All I can thing about is how I want the pain and suffering to stop, and how I think I'd be half ok with falling asleep right now and never waking up. How f*cked up is that??? Please don't tell me I'm alone in thoughts like this....sigh

[61chevy]

Hang in there Jenny.  You are right in the "thick of it"  Right in the tough zone.  What Evolveru said above struck a chord with me....    I remember day 2, 3, 4...., etc.  I wasn't counting days, nor hours, but minutes.  & the clock seemed to be removing in reverse.  Deep breaths & do your best to relax.  Time is your enemy and your friend.  Getting thru these moments are a bear, but the more time you allow to pass, the better it will get, I assure you.  Lots of us have been where you are.  
Today is day 45 since my last dose of my drug of choice.  (opiates).  I know 45 days seems like a lifetime away for you right now, but you can do it.  Keep reading & posting.  Lots of support right here & lots of people will be pulling for you.

[Sonrissa]

Hi Jenny, I just want to offer my support as well. I absolutely understand what you are feeling. It's so typical at this stage of detox. Hang in there. It will get better! Someone very wise, and who I would trust with my life, told me "not to live inside my head".  It so true. You will get through this, and you should start feeling better soon. If you can get up and go outside and just sit in the fresh air for a little while, that will help to clear your head.

Take care, Jenny. I wish you all the best. Keep posting!

[Jinx_777]

is there anyway you could ask your doctor for lidocaine patches???  i too have bad ovary pain and they do help a little and you don't have to take a pill.  there is also volteran (sp?) gel that is an rx. it is supposed to be an anti inflammatory ointment that you rub into the area where you have pain.

also, a heating pad helps so much.  

hope you feel better and get fixed soon so you are out of pain

[EvolverU]

Jenny,

Of course you're not alone!! The feelings & symptoms you're describing are exactly why people relapse during acute withdrawals.

Here's a c & p from another post I did for someone feeling the exact same way a week ago:

'I know that you're still feeling like you want to jump out of your skin right now. It's not because you're clinically anxious or depressed, etc. It's because your chemistry has to heal from the damage done to it. It can take a while. Right now, your circadian rhythms are in flux, your body is flooded with nor-epinephrine & lacks the request levels of endorphins. That's the main reason you feel this way. There is no magic bullet right now except time. Things like L-Tyrosine, etc. will work better as your system acclimates & you put more time between you & the M'done. Truly, the best things that you can do are to eat a healthy unprocessed diet, hydrate on waking & throughout the day, exercise, hot baths, redirect your mind from your symptoms & have faith in the healing process.'

Jenny, you've made it this far. I know that it's rough right now but think how bad you'll feel if you cave now! Think of having to explain it to your husband & having to go through it all over again. Remind yourself of all the reasons you stopped! Make a list of all the things you want to get right in your life that you can't while on pills. Just remember -- keep telling yourself -- this is only temporary! What's happening is totally neural in nature. Your body is in 'fight or flight' mode. You're on an emotional roller coaster as a result. This will pass!  All you have to get through is this very second. Not the next hour or day. Just breathe through this very moment -- This is how we make it through! :) You can do this my friend. You're much stronger than you know.

Hold Fast!

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

What got me thru was having hope. I trusted the words of those who had done it before me. So many times I doubted what they were telling me but everyday I told myself "today will be better" trusting that one day I would feel normal without pills was the hardest part of getting clean. So many times I would just think to myself I can't live like this! The physical and mental pain was almost unbearable but I made it thru. I think a change in attitude would help. Focus on getting well instead of how bad you feel. I know this sounds crazy but everytime I went to the bathroom I would tell myself there goes more toxins out of my body. I made myself believe I was getting better even if I had a bad day. Get mad if you have to but now is the time to fight for your life... Good luck my friend.

[ActingBrandNew]

Your not alone in your thoughts. I think a lot of us felt the same way at day 4. Hang in there, it will get better. Day 4 is a rough one for sure!