First N/A meeting & the arrival!

[Ms_im_doin_it]

I guess when I thought of being clean & free from the grip Methadone had on me for almost 10 yrs I never thought about N/A...to be honest I thought...what could it do for me...I know my issues...all to well! I didnt think because I didnt live the "traditional" lifestyle a lot of addicts do where the addiction begins through partying...friends who introduce them to street drugs..illegal useage...It was my delutional thinking...my way of making my using acceptable for society...I'd tell myself I came by this by accident...honestly...not by choice...how wrong I was...and the first time I made excuses about the $ I was spending on the Mdone...I realized...." you April are no damn different...I knew I was an addict who would decieve...lie...hide & betray anyone anytime if it stood in my way of getting Mdone...Today, I was welcomed like I hadnt been anywhere before really...;I found out a lot about the true path most addicts have walked...ran & sprinted as the chase for survival began...the drugs effect so many parts of us..and until your truly free its all but impossible to see....no matter where you take your life or how much you really F**K up...over & over its never about you or the addiction...so today I want to say how grateful I am that I am no longer on that ride...Im no longer carrying the fear of detox...the fear of feeling normal again...because I know through my time here...and my first meeting today...that I do have what it takes to want to be clean...to get clean...and to stay clean!  I love myself for wanting it...even when you fail...keep wanting it and your time will come! You have to want it like youve wanted nothing else...its a life & death fight and I hope I never feel the pain & the shame I lived with daily as I pretended to LIVE!

[dominosarah]

It works if you work it~

[OpenMind24hours]

Congratulations on your first meeting! Just got home from my home group meeting 10 minutes ago. The meetings are where changes take place within us. We get out of the meetings what we put into them. I love what you said about not just getting clean but "staying clean".  Working those steps will help you stay clean. Our drugs and our using are just symptoms of why we used. The tip of the iceberg. The meetings and the steps have helped me find what's going on deep inside of myself that causes me to want to use like I did and want all that chaos going on in my life. My disease is an addiction to "more" of everything, not just the opiates and alcohol I was using. I work on turning all that around and accepting life on life's terms.

Keep on keeping on...you sound great!!

[havica]

Awesome keep up the excellent work :)

[ActingBrandNew]

Wow! You sound great! Congrats on going to your first meeting...Its nice to hear someone feeling good! Keep it up!

Always,

ABN