Want to beat this addiction!

[trishnatey]

I've been addicted to pain pills (any kind!) for YEARS! I was on suboxone for 2 years, but the they took me off of it and in a few months I was back to searching every day....for money, for pills, just a couple to get me through THIS day and tomorrow I will stop, but it doesn't work like that:(  I'm also prescribed tramadol-weak I know, but I take like 6 at a time and feel ok...only problem, I run out too soon and I'm sick until I find something off the street (I prefer to find suboxone but it's been hard to find and they keep raising the price). I'm not even working right now, soon I hope, but I can't afford this and mentally I'm just screwed! I cry all the time if I can't find anything, sleep all day and ache.....all I want is to feel OKAY without a pill.........Don't know what else to say, this is my first day here....my name is Trish and I'm from Ohio :)

[trishnatey]

I know I shouldn't take anything, OMG I HATE myself for spending all my money. I have to be honest though, my mind is telling me if I can just make it 5 more days, I'll have some tramadol. but if I make it 5 days maybe I can make it more (today is already shot.....I'm so weak, I wake up sick and it's ALL I can think about-I had 10.00 left, my son needs a new notebook, and I just spent my last 12.00 (after scraping up some change) on a few pills to get me through today - or a few hours more like) THAT is AWFUL I know it!! I feel bad even writing this, I'm going to cry-I am too embarrassed to even see any replies from this.

[vicki595]

To: theblondeone~  Please don't advise Trish to take the Tram to get off Vicodin. That doesn't work...just like it's not working for you,at all.

Trish~  Stay away from the Vicodin and taper off the Tram. This is how it's done if you really want to get clean. You need to be strong,girl. We'll support you~
Keep posting~
Vicki

[trishnatey]

Dusty,  good luck with the detox....I wish I could find a new suboxone dr.!
Theblondeonetx - I think if I took the 3 tramadol a day and could keep from taking the whole bottle in a few days, I would be ok. It really does keep the aches away, and not give a high, but my anxiety feels like it's better with them.
If I can just make it until my dr. apt. next Monday (and that seems so far away, my minds already thinking how to get some money to get a little something more because yesterday's didn't last!)
Crystal....I wish I knew what to say, besides I know how you feel! Maybe try a suboxone dr.? It does work, I just couldn't do it without it (yet) Maybe if I had tried harder while on the suboxone to change...start exercise and eating right, going to meetings etc. I must get going now, got to go to the dentist!
(no, no pain meds there....had to get all my teeth pulled, now must get impressions for my fake ones...no I'm not THAT old!)

[oliver1981]

Hi my name is Crystal and back in March of 2008 I had surgery for severe kidney stones.They put me on Hydrocodone 7.5's for the pain.He was giving me about 90 a month and after the surgery he took me off of them,by that time I was addicted to them.I liked the relaxation feeling they gave me especially with all the stress in my life.I now have to get them off the streets and likeTrish said I just want my life back without the urge for a pill.I am so tired of looking for money and a pill evryday.I a a full time student and do not know what to do.Somebody please help me I do not know how to fight the WD's and I need HELP.I have 3 children that look up to me and this is ruining my life.God knows I want off of these things for good.The WD symptoms are terrible and I hate it.My email is ***@**** Please Help somebody!!!!

[BANDITO187]

hi trish   my name is dusty and read your adds ive been on and off all pain meds for 35 years and did 28 years of that in prison behind hitting the streets to find anything i could i even stayed hooked in the pen dont matter the **** is everwhere im coming off a 4 year methadone and morphine habbit and it took suboxone to make life brighter its only day seven for me im on a 13 day detox with hopes my higher power will pull me through the rest, keep in touch i live in morro bay calif good luck,

[trishnatey]

Vicki and TH-
thanks for the replies, and I WANT to listen to your advice, I just have this part of me that says....maybe, this time I can take just the prescribed amoutn of tramadol and feel ok, it will last me and I won't have to buy anything else. I say  that EVERY time, then I get that script and right off the bat on the first day I take 10........I've been to NA before, and I know it would help to go back, I just got to DO IT......and exercise, I know I'd feel better if I would walk or something every day, I just have to make up my mind to start
Ok, I'm going to try to relax and watch Modern Family and I should start tomorrow, I think the tramadol withdrawal is over (and it is the worst!! I feel so bad with it, people just don't know that it's that addictive) I had a couple lortabs today, but if I just don't take anymore and go to NA tomorrow night.....
thanks again for the help-
I SO appreciate it!!

[vicki595]

Trish~  You have multiple addictions.  You need to make up your mind for good this time and get to some NA meetings or the like.   You really should taper off the Tramadol;it's easier on your body and brain.  Get healthy with vitamins,good food,exercise...
Stay off the streets...push through the withdrawals...get some help from the prescribing doctor of the tram.  Call tomorrow for advice.
We'll be here to support you or answer questions...
Keep posting...
Vicki

[LeaAnn807]

Hi Trish.  I have also been addicted to pain meds of all types and, most recently, tramadol.  It is a very bad drug to WD from.  Don't kid yourself.  It's not weak at all.  You need to talk to a doctor and get some help getting off the pills if you can??  That would make the WDs easier for you.  They can give you some meds, and you won't have to buy on the street. That's dangerous in itself.

I had been addicted for about 15 years, and I was able to quit!  

You can do it!!!  There are a lot of people here who will help and give you advice!

TH

TH