Downward Spiral

[needhelpsh]

OK, decided to share my condition. I'm abusing 'uppers' for want of a better word. Absolutely hooked psychologically: Need to pop them to function normally. Read about the 'downer' phase, depression, irritability, suicidal thoughts and I just shrugged them off - 'I can handle it' I thought: won't happen to me. But now it IS! I'm getting irritable, depressed, angry for no reason, and I'm now seriously considering jumping off the 17th floor. I don't jest here - It would be a relief. My marriage is falling to pieces and I see no way out. Sometimes in high phase life is wonderful, but the other day I overdid my dosage and almost collapsed at work. I live in a foreign country, I feel alienated sometimes. I am aware that I am deliberately overdosing in the hope of having a heart-attack, because I don't have the guts to die violently,  therefore saving everyone a lot of trouble. Don't really want to go out this way, but running out of options.Don't know what i want from you guys, but it helps just writing this stuff out. Any support would be appreciated! Thanks.

[el_em_en_oh]

Exactly what kind of uppers are you trying to get clean/detox from? How much and how often?

I applaud you wanting to get clean, and can only tell you that it DOES get better. What your going through is part of the withdrawl, which will subside and get better day by day.

Please post back and let me know what you were taking and how much and for how long.

Talk to us...

LMNO

[IBKleen]

The majority of members who post here are in the US so most were asleep when you posted. Please come back and talk with us. We are here to support you.