Ease Withdrawal Question....

[dee480]

I am trying to wean off of hydrocodone but have run out.  I did get access to oxycodone 5mg, and I have to use those to continue to wean instead of the hydro.  I know this sounds like an out-of-the-frying-pan and into-the-fire kind of approach, but I have tried and cannot do cold-turkey with my responsibilities to my family and my secret not getting out.   I have no support.  This is entirely up to me.  I know we can't post dosages to wean, but what are your thoughts on this plan?  Is oxy similiar enough to hydro to help me avoid the worst of the withdrawal symtoms?
Thanks for any input.

[kyle505]

I can't comment about the difference between oxy and hydro, only a general knowledge that oxy is stronger than hydro.
I have to ask why don't you have any support? Most of us have a hard time weaning because when pills are available, we take them. Giving your meds to someone you can trust to keep you on your tapering schedule is usually the safest way to wean.
And finally, if you keep your secret, the odds are that you will relapse behind it.

[LostNoMore]

I agree with Kyle about keeping your addiction a secret. It is very hard for all of us to come clean but it's also a big step toward lasting recovery. Keeping your addiction a secret and trying to taper by yourself will make it very easy
to fall back into your old pattern. Having an addiction is not a shameful thing. It's like having diabetes, or any other disease. Addiction happens to be a progressive and often fatal disease which affects millions of people. Getting and staying clean is the only way to arrest addiction. Good luck and please stick around and give it a try.

[Bkitty]

I know in the past when Id run out of the oxycodone, Id switch over to hyrocodone to "avoid" the withdrawal. For me it didnt work. I still w/d'd from the oxy but felt even more like crap going thru the withdrawals cuz I was high on hydrocodone. Please reconsider keeping this a secret. As another member (Sarah) tells us "secrets keep us sick". I found that to be true. ((hugs))~Bkitty

[dee480]

I'm going to try it...just can't handle w/d...no support because no one knows my issue....

[vicki595]

I think this could work for you, going from hydro to Oxy. What's the strength of hydo?

Just go slowly and drop down by small amounts. This isn't the most perfect plan but it's better than CT! What's your usual dose?  Oxy is a bit stronger so make that adjustment.

It's so helpful to have at least one person for support, someone you trust. I know that sometimes its nearly impossible so consider seeing a therapist which would help you with the addiction, as well.

[dee480]

I am totally over my head - glad I found this forum.  Can't tell my doctor - he thinks I'm still on the 2 hydro/day he prescribes me...

[dee480]

thank you guys for the help and advice...

[dee480]

hydro was 7.5, oxys are 5's...

[dee480]

I leave them in my car to help me not just grab them easily....

[vicki595]

You'll need to get down to a lower number of Oxy where you're physically comfortable and then slowly drop lower. Put a schedule on paper. If you need to leave these in the car, it tells me you're not in very good control and this will be particularly difficult for you. Tapers are not easy at all but you need to make a commitment to get clean. That's another reason why you need to share this, it will come out one way or the other and then it's not in your control anymore.

Tell us a little more here. Why are you out of hydro now? Was it an rx?

[dee480]

sigh...yeah, hydros were an rx for neck pain.  then I realized that two gave me energy, made my mind fly with ideas...you all probably know.  So, I started to run out of my rx early and got some from a friend.  Then I was horrified to realize that if I didn't have ANY I was so sick.  I had no idea.  I had no idea that someone (me) could get addicted so easily, and I really had no idea how terribly awful the w/d's are.  I have a child that needs me, and I can't take even a few days off with "the flu"  And I do not like the mood swings with CT - I'm afraid I will be too harsh with my daughter or my husband and really make them feel bad for no reason.  So my solution is to just drag it out.  I wish I could get thru w/d's and be done, but I just can't.  You are correct in that I have a very hard time resisting when I have more than 5...which I have about 40 oxys in my car now.  BUT...since I know the horrible fate that awaits me if I run out, I am usually more able to resist.  Before this, I had no idea how bad it could get.

[vicki595]

Okay. Knowing what awaits if you eat them all can help you IF YOU LET IT! LOL.   I know from past experience that I could rationalize ANYTHING if a pill was in front of me. That's why I want you to get a plan on paper with a limit on the amount of pills per day and how many hours apart.

I hope it works for you. It CAN work but you need to get strong. One thing you could do is get yourself a pill container and keep the daily limit of pills in it.  Remember, the purpose of tapering Is to get off the pills and keep the wd's at bay. How many do you think you'll need per day to do that?

[leslie363]

Hi dee480. I totally understand what you are going through. I kept my addiction a secret for the longest time. It got out of control. I was taking an ungodly amount of hyrocodone. Then when I couldnt get high as I wanted to I started taking oxycodone. Oxycodone is stronger than hydro. I stopped CT and the withdrawls were horrible. I had to tell my secret. My husband flipped out. He didnt and still doesnt understand. I still do not have my addiction under control. I am lying to myself thinking I can enjoy a pain pill high a couple times a week. But right now that is what I do. I will take a few one day and feel sluggish for the next couple days. Im better than I used to be but still not great. The first thing, as with any addiction, is to adnit that you are an addict. The people who love you may not understand but they will not leave you. How old is your child you have to take care of?

[dee480]

thanks guys...how nice to have someone even just ask me a question!  lol  Right now I just cannot even entertain the thought of telling anyone, although I can understand how it would hold me to my word more...just can't fess-up now, maybe never.  I would lose any respect I ever had from my family.  People would be watching my every move with my daughter, and, god-forbid if anything ever happened between my husband and I would it come back to haunt me????  No, I just can't tell.  I'll deal with it.  Hinted at it to my husband once, and although he is a great guy and an excellent father, (we have no marital problems other than the usual bickering every once in awhile) I could tell he would have no patience or understanding. I don't know who could really understand what it's like until you feel a true w/d.  To most folks, I think it's "why don't you just stop?"  and like my husband "it's just mind over matter...no biggie"  yeah, RIGHT!

[vicki595]

I understand about keeping this a secret. I did the same thing for a long time. Eventually, I just didn't care anymore. I was getting sick with a lot of neuro problems and I needed to stop completely and not half way. I needed A LOT of support, I think that was when I reached the bottom...

So, how many Oxy are you going to take per day?  Be sure you DO use them just to taper. Oxy wd's are pretty unpleasant, some say worse than from other opiates. I don't know, personally.

[vicki595]

Something else...what happens when it's time for your refill? Do you have a plan?

[IGotYour6]

Hi looking at your post you stated you have oxycodone 5mg tabs.  5mg of oxy is equal to about 7.5mg of hydro. If they are regular perc 5s or straight up oxycodone 5s they are NOT slow 12 hour release. They are IR just like Vics. They are only slow release if they are Oxycontin. Also oxy does not have more opiates It is just different and about 1.5 times stronger than Hydro. Hope this helps you with the math for your taper. Good luck.

[clean_in_ks]

Hey girl...I started with 1/day, and then 2 and after 6 yrs was eating hydro 10's like candy!  I had legit pain; broken pelvis, disc cage replacement surgery in my back....but the Rx paperwork tells you that some people may get addicted....and your pain receptors at the base of your brain need more and more.  Hydros vs. Oxycodone......of course I took whatever, but my Rx and my hubby's (which he is NOT and addict and could take l/day....GO FIGURE FOR ME?) After I ate his script and mine we went to a guy he used to know from work and I wasted TONS of money we didn't have to spend!  Secrets DO make us sick.  Talk a lot on this site!!  You can find out without your family knowing where some NA mtgs are.  It's a huge step, but full of lots of support.  I do know of a FEW people who were successful w/dg w/o their family knowing.  Anyway, as usual, I rabbit trailed, I'm 61 days clean today and have a worn out body, brain, organs, and adrenal glands.  You will, too.  I read that hydros were codeine based and oxy's were heroine based.  Hydros were more calming to me and oxy's gave me more energy.  Probably because I took hydros more consistently.
You'd be surprised about human nature.  My hubby is definitely not an addict and I get addicted to just about anything it seems!
If I were you.....and I'm not.......and my hubby doesn't understand REALLY either.....only another addict has walked in your shoes.......I know I would definitely be making excuses to go to the garage.  You were used to 15 mg of hydros and are switching formulary bases and trying to wean from 15 to 5 mg.  I could not do that....it was just inviting misery for me.  I weaned myself from 20/30 hyrdros 10 mg per day to 10/day and got help.
Everybody's body chemistry is different.  Everybody has different experiences and beliefs.  i.e., this forum.  But, this is HOW it works for addicts:  HOW=honesty, openmindedness & willingness.  You arent there yet...but I'm going to be brutally honest because I have a heart for all the other opiate addicts out there.  You sound....like an addict girl.  
I'll be praying for you in KS.  Write anytime you want....I still can't sleep and check posts until 2 or 3 am  
Blessings to you Dee

[quitinoxys]

Hey Dee you stated "I would lose any respect I ever had from my family.  People would be watching my every move with my daughter, and, god-forbid if anything ever happened between my husband and I would it come back to haunt me????" Well I think your addictive brain (AB) is trying to make excuses for you. The addcitive brain can be extermely tricky, it will make you think you need to do things it's way. This is because AB wants to be feed, it will do anything it can to get what it needs. I thought the same way when I was using and tried to go CT. But you know when I told my wife she already knew and was just waiting for me to admit my addiction. She has been one of my biggest supporters through sobriety.

From your posts it seems like you have a good relationship with your husband. It sounds like there is great love between you both; so why would you deny him the opportunity to help you? You don't have to tell everyone about your addiction, just the one's who love you and will stick by your side. Think about it this way if you had a bad disease (which addiction is) like a heart disease, do you think anyone would think less of you? I would hope not, unfortunately addiction still carries a bad stigma but it is a disease. So what I am saying here is tell someone you can trust about your dirty little secret as it will set you free and unload a great burden. Then you can get on way down the road to sobriety. I will pray for you and hope it works out. God Bless---Rick

[dee480]

thanks all - I hear you and am finding out that this forum IS really helpful.  I'm going to count my oxys and get a numbers plan tomorrow when my daughter is not home.  And yes, I have thought about when my hydro script comes due...but I haven't thought too hard about it yet.  Right now, I guess I'm still a major addict-brain because off-the-top-of-my-head at this moment, I'm thinking I'll get them filled and just keep them for a bad day, my husbands knee pain...I can tell ya'all have been here, and I'm learning that that plan won't really fly if I'm serious about quitting.  I'm still hoping I can just get rid of the physical addiction and withdrawals, and just take a couple here an there for fun...I'm learning here that that won't work.  So again, thanks everyone.  I'll be on tomorrow to see what you think about my taper plan...sigh...

[dee480]

guess I'm still wanting the best of both worlds, since I've only just realized I'm addicted and how hard withdrawals are.  But I'm trying to just think this way for now:  "hey Dee, you had your fun.  got in too deep and it will only get worse from now on.  Party's over, so do what you gotta do to fix what you got mixed up in."  That's kinda my pep-talk to myself now....

[quitinoxys]

Hey Dee hmmmm " I'm still hoping I can just get rid of the physical addiction and withdrawals, and just take a couple here an there for fun" Thats yor addictive brain talking to you. You know that you won't be able to do that so get on with it and get better, I am pulling for you. As far as your secret Well you told us so now tell someone that is close to you that won't judge. More prayers coming your way---Rick

[dominosarah]

When is your next refill?  You really need to call and cancel that one.  I would have a heart to heart with your doctor also.  If you dont stop all access to these pills this cycle will continue.  Addiction doesnt stop once the pills are gone as the mental part will kick in and that is the hard part.  Please remember that there is nothing glamorous about this addiction.  It is a dead end road, literally and not a one of us are exempt.