End of day 4 and need encouragement!

[Lovemomof2]

Here I am again. This time though I have made it the farthest I have ever gone which is the end of day 4. I am somewhat discouraged because I thought I would be feeling better but today has been pretty rough.  Will I feel better tomorrow? I want so badly to make it through this. More than anything. I have 2 little kids who need me. I haven't taken anything since 8am on Friday. I did take 1 suboxone over the last 2 days. That is probably why I am still not feeling better. Any encouragement is so needed right now.

[kyle505]

I don't usually outwardly disagree with another poster, but I have to tell you that, in my opinion, willpower has nothing to do with getting and staying clean. If you are an addict, then the addiction has control, as you found out.
What worries me about your situation is you didn't flush the pills, used them, and are now back at it. What happens if meds pop up again somewhere? Did you learn anything from this last episode? Maybe discovering that you don't, in fact, have control over the addiction, that willpower will not save you, will help set you on the right path.
Now, as far as you being able to do it, that's a no-brainer. You can. Why shouldn't you? Hundreds of addicts - with killer habits and lifetimes of addictions - have recovered. No reason no to add your name to the list.
These three steps helped me; maybe they can help you -
Cut all sources. Cancel refills, any outstanding scripts. If you don't have pills, and if you can't easily access them, then you won't use.
Next, and this is very hard (and not everyone agrees), tell your secret. Tell your doc, dentist, boyfriend, close family and friend(s). If you don't tell your secret, you may end up relapsing behind it. You have no accountability if you have no one who knows. Plus these people will become a part of your support system.
Finally, get after care. Very important. NA meetings and the like.
If you leave any one of these out you may be setting yourself up to relapse.
I believe that they are the foundation for recovery.
Nuff said. Keep working at this. It really does get better, and life without meds really is quite wonderful. Give it a chance. For your kids.

[solost170]

aww hunny I know how hard this is, I was in your shoes not to long ago and I will say the advice that everyone has gave you is right on. I lived by it. even thou it was hard I knew what kyle told me and everyone else was dead on and I had to take the plunge, I had one pill in my wallet and kyle said you have to get rid of it it will call your name and huant you and it did. I got in my car with music cranked as loud as it would go tears streaming down my face and kyles words ringing in my ears. i threw that lil pill out the window and walked the road to sobriety, everything that you are feeling is normal and will fade in time. I promise I remember the day that I posted I'm feel so good I'm hugging trees, that wonderful life is right around the corner for you and everything you are going through right now will fade and a wonderful life will replace all the bad. hang in there hun you are doing great day four is rough and you can do this. anytime you feel scared and lost there is someone on here that will help you through it we all fall and come short just pick yourself back up and move on forward you can do this. I promise there are roses and sunshine on the other side hang in there and keep fighting love and light solost

[waterLilly7]

it will get better a day at a time. I don't think the WD will be as bad no, because it hasn't been that long, but you will still have ot shake the mental stuff.
It gets better, it really does.
You can do it, keep posting and keep the path.
hugs,
Lily

[Lovemomof2]

Conhall, thank you for the helpful message. It helps me so much. Do you think I will have another week of withdrawals? I am trying so hard.

[conhall]

you can do this . Go for a walk try and stay busy i Know the Wds and mind stuff is hard but it will get better I promise you .
I am sending you Positive energy i am pulling for you :)))

[Lovemomof2]

Thank you Lily. :) I don't have anymore to fall back on, so that is good. I am just struggling right now. This is so so hard. I don't know how Mich more I can take.