Faded one way or another...

[CollinContin]

Im a little worried\wigged out right now...
Ive been using opiates since 15 and Ive moved from vicodin and oxycontin to heroin in a course of 4 years...
So far, Ive been off for a week and Ive been laying around at home.
I have my hours cut down from work lately to deal with everything and not have an excuse to purchase a bindle.
I was spending up to $100 a day but the last few uses I had tried to cut the use in half with little satisfaction.
So on occasion I smoke marijuana, Ive done this before and after I used opiates, and it helps with nausea and troubles sleeping when withdrawaling.

So far so good, untill today...
I was downtown today taking a walk when I went by the kwik trip and a friend mentioned how we used to take robotussin from the store to "robo trip". This put a bunch of thoughts in my head and I took off to buy a bottle. I downed the bottle but to my dismay I am not really feeling the same kind of sensation I remembered from earlier years of using it. It has been about 2 years since trying it and I drank a whole bottle of generic DM tussin. It had Dextromethoprhen HBR USP, and I am aware that DM tussins now have a new active ingredient which deters the intoxicating effects of the Dextromethorphen, but some brands do not have this ingredient.
It also did contain guaifenesin which is reported to cause nausea.
I guzzled down the whole bottle, and now 3 hours have passed and I feel a little woozy, but nothing like what I remembered experiencing as I said before.
The point of this whole thing is, Im really angry with myself for stooping down once again... Since I first started using H, the longest I had been without it is 4 days, so every day without using a drug is an accomplishment in my book. And to **** it all up again is pretty disgusting to me.
I am also worried that this is a new chemical that was not present in the medicine when I last did it and I might have poisoned myself...
I am about to go to bed here though I am going to make myself vomit and drink some water so I guess we will see how things are tomorrow morning.
No, I dont think I will die, but I hope I didnt damage anything in my body.

[CollinContin]

I dont know what to say. I really do thank everyone for the advice. No doubt it feels better than the majority of my friends who think I could care less about quitting.
To answer some questions: I have been doing some evening jogging but here and there I get lazy and blow off the jog to do hit the punching bag in my bud's back yard. 2 other friends are trying to clean up and they are boxing and doing some types of martial arts.
Unfortunately, I just got off the family insurance plan and I no longer go to the pathway clinic that I was attending for 3 months.
This clinic wasnt a stay-in. It did help some, mainly cutting down my use but never stopping it all together, which is my job, haha
but, I do plan on getting on state care insurance and soon I will try to go to an actual stay-in rehabilitation center.

[tomskat]

Stay strong!! We all have weaknessess...it soesn't mean you are a failure Collin!! Try to avoid situations and people where you know it will pressure you to use.I know easier said than done. I know how MAd Town is,lol!! And don't forget-you've come to the right place-we've ALL been there before. Keep reading posts; it will help you.Rememeber no question is stupid and pm anyone anytime.We're all here for you. And just cuz you relapse doesn't mean you can't come here anymore!! Stay strong-you CAN do this if you want to. I've been an addict since I was 15 (22 years!! Holy ****!) clean for 200 (?) days now? Yes, every day is/was a struggle. I'm here for you hon. You can do it!!!! No more cough syrup!!Yuck!! xoxox~Anne

[Memory222]

I want to tell you that Dextromethorphan (DMX), has caused many many deaths. It is not a narcotic but has narcotic like effects. In fact the same drug used to reverse the effects of opiates in overdose patients, will often reverse the effects of DXM when patients are in a coma and not breathing wel on their own. They do end up on ventilators. Please, please do not use this as an alternative. It is dangerous. God bless you and stay strong !

[worried878]

As a rule...there is usually not quite enough of anything in sumpin over the counter to kill u...now if u bought several of some products it could..and this is not always true and we r all different on how we tolerate things..but drinking or taking a whole bottle of anything is just really addict behavior..but u know that

I am glad u felt good til today...congrats on clean time from a difficult drug to quit!  U should be proud...let the cough medicine binge go and move foward

U r resorting to old coping mechanisms..using is what u r used to doing..doesnt change overnight..but over time..and u need some aftercare to help u stay on track...do u do any type of aftercare ???

Staying busy is really best right now...MOVE...u need the endorphins if u feel up to exercising..it forces the brain to produce them cos it is not producing enuf right now most likely...ur brain needs time to heal...exercise helps..have u skimmed the health pages?  the thomas recipe may help as well

keep poosting..shake off ur mistake u made today..just a bump in the road..tomorrow is another day...keep moving forward