Falling off the wagon for the hundreth time

[smokinggunn]

I feel like I cant break the cycle, am I alone on this feeling?
I go thru this every month seems like. I got my script filled a week or so aga, 140 -10/325 percs. I went thru all of them in six days. This is the fastest that I have gone thru them I am starting to get scared of OD. The person I get them from typically is out and wont re-up until two weeks. So I have no choice in trying to get clean, this would be longest I went without them. The longest was a little over a week and a miserable week it was. I was spending $1000/ month on this poison. I just hope I can stay strong and push thru this addiction. I am on day 3 of being clean fing miserable. Sorry about being all over the place kind of hard to concentrate

[clean_in_ks]

Especially if we meet at Kyle's where it's warm and can take turns getting to ride on his new bike LOL

[Andie015]

I'm right behind Kyle with 13 years of failure and agree with him 100 percent, taking so many pills a day my liver hurt. What your saying is you have to make it until you can get a refill...we have all been there... That's not wanting to quit. And you won't ever get clean until you are honest with your doc and yourself. Rehab and total honesty with everyone was my only way out and because I understand the amount of pills you take I also understand what it's going to take for you to get clean and that's rehab. You're in it very deep...you need help to get out.

[clean_in_ks]

Well said.....now you have me thinking what a face to face would BE like Hahaha!  I personally think it would be GRAND~

[dominosarah]

These are the times when i wish we were all face to face.  You would see the passion in our eyes and hear the caring in our voice.  Kyle and i dont usually hold much back, that is just who we are.  We all want you to fight just as hard as we fight for you to get your life back.

[kyle505]

Listen, you (we) are fighting for your health and well being, if not your life, thus the time to candy coat is over. And everything I suggest, everything I talk about I've done. When I do make a suggestion or comment on the lies and BS your addict's brain is handing out, I call on my 15 years of failure as a reference, not my one year of being clean. I know very little about being clean, but I know lots about using, stopping, using, lying, etc.
As a side note, I am also a "recovering" boozer. I haven't had a drink in 28 years, but I found pills right after I stopped drinking so that number really isn't a true tally of my sobriety. And for me, stopping drinking was much easier than stopping pills.
I really am a nice guy (some may disagree); I want you to stop. I don't want you to string this out and look back 15 years from now and say I wish...

[smokinggunn]

Kyle I understand what  you are saying. You are speaking the hard truth and I apreciated it. Comes across kind of harsh but I can take it. I really am trying to do it. kick this damn nasty addiction!!!