Finally took the plunge..I want 9 more to join!!!!

[bmdad]

I've been posting on here for a few months now. I never really shared the reasons I came back to this forum. This whole time I felt like a hypocrite giving advice and encouraging others. The reason why I felt like a hypocrite was because I was actually using 10 mg hydros myself. I had been back on them for just about a year after being clean for a year or so. I started taking them again due to some painful back problems along with sciatica. It feels like 2 of my vertebrates are rubbing together causing discomfort. The sciatica feels like someone is jabbing a knife in my hip and just moving it around. The pain has been quite extreme. Over a year ago I was taking around 25 or so 10mg hydros. This go around I was mainly sticking to around 2 just in the evening in order to get some sleep. I weighed the options before getting back on them. I decided for quality of life. I also swore to myself that if I took more than prescribed I would flush them and go cold turkey. For the last week or so I started taking more than prescribed. I knew what I had to do. Although I broke my promise for about a week, I took my last New Years Eve and flushed the rest before bed. I finally decided my time has come. I am very nervous (not scared) and also so very anxious...in a good way. I want my life back and plan on keeping it that way. I go in for steroid injections in my back Jan 11th so hopefully I can get some relief. If not, it doesn't matter. I am done with the narcotic pain meds. I know there are so many other ways out there to help with my pain. I am all stocked up on the amino acid protocol as it worked wonders in the past. It was no miracle but did help. I also have neurontin that I was prescribed for nerve pain. It really seems to help with withdrawals. Once again, no miracle but does take some symptoms away. I do have about 10 clonodine left from before but not sure if I'll use them. They do help but the neurontin seemed to help more. As of now I'm 5 minutes away from my last dose 48 hours ago. I'm hanging in there. Not doing wonderful, but hanging in there. I served in Iraq and I know since I made it through there, I can make it through this. This is one fight I will come out of victorious. The way I see it it's the only way. I'm just so sick of the cycle and know I have to put a end to it for good. I've been off and on these horrible pills for over 3 years and am finished. I have a lovely wife and two amazing kiddos that don't deserve me as a dad right now. I am going to change this once and for all. Whenever I look them in the eye I feel like they don't deserve me. I'm there for them every second of every day but can't handle what they don't know I'm putting them through. I feel everything happens for a reason and I feel this happened just to make me a stronger and better person. For everyone else going through this please remember it can be done. What's one week of your life for a lifetime of sobriety? It's a walk in the park. It is worth every bit of it. We know we can't use forever so why not start now? I am starting now and I'm not stopping until I'm clean. I know many say relapse is part of recovery but right now relapse is not even in my vocabulary. I will succeed!!!
I wish everyone else the best of luck. For those of you just starting, lets do this together. Let's see if we can get 10 of us to start right now!!! I'm gonna post my name in another post right after this. Please, if anyone else is on board, post your name right after mine. Lets do this together!!! We can motivate each other and motivation is key! Mind over matter!!!
Best of luck to all!!!
Semper Fi
Brian

[Jpipp]

Been on hydrocodone 10/325's for over a year taking up to 25 per day. Never have enough. Got them originally for shoulder surgery but have always experimented with pain mess throughout my life. I'm 27 and just had my first child. I want to get sober for him and quit taking the pills 2 days ago. Hurting pretty bad right now. Doctors don't know about this and neither does my wife. Been lying alot.... How much longer will this last and what can I do to make it easier?
Brian
I'll add my name to the mix. I'm done with the drugs and am ready to get my life back. We will get through this together. Let me know if you start struggling. I'll post if I'm feeling weak. My pain is real too I'm just unable to handle my doses without abusing so I'm done. I look forward to the end of the WDs.  

[sweatinit]

#36 sweatinit

[bmdad]

1) Brian~Bmdad
2) Amy~Amaryllis
3) Fog~Fogmusser
4) Bob~jstntime
5) Sarah~Dominosarah
6) Gizzy
7) WDsRawful
8) Gnarly_1
9) Wooworld
10) Denise~Narla
11) Jimmy1975
12) K~Kona2009
13) a unlucky number so we're skipping this one!!!!
14) Vickie~oxyhell37
15) Sophie LIttle Mrs. Sunshine!!
16) Dadof5kids1973
17) febninthgirl
18) Eagle
19) Kas~Itsabouttime209
20) Dean~Downinthedumps1968
21) Mikablu
22) Sjoggie~Lizzy
23) BeccaBeccalynn
24) jlb191
25) Radiostar55
27) OIFMc09
28) Aprilia1000
29) camperlot123
30) Lee
31) tellit2her
32) Totsie59
33) Zaphnelia1978
34) PARA78
35) Maria

[merrymaria]

i m in...#35...maria :)

[bmdad]

1) Brian~Bmdad
2) Amy~Amaryllis
3) Fog~Fogmusser
4) Bob~jstntime
5) Sarah~Dominosarah
6) Gizzy
7) WDsRawful
8) Gnarly_1
9) Wooworld
10) Denise~Narla
11) Jimmy1975
12) K~Kona2009
13) a unlucky number so we're skipping this one!!!!
14) Vickie~oxyhell37
15) Sophie LIttle Mrs. Sunshine!!
16) Dadof5kids1973
17) febninthgirl
18) Eagle
19) Kas~Itsabouttime209
20) Dean~Downinthedumps1968
21) Mikablu
22) Sjoggie~Lizzy
23) BeccaBeccalynn
24) jlb191
25) Radiostar55
27) OIFMc09
28) Aprilia1000
29) camperlot123
30) Lee
31) tellit2her
32) Totsie59
33) Zaphnelia1978
34) PARA78

[PARA78]

Hold up!!!!

Ok im on!!!