For Us who are Fighting the Demons!

[hiding288]

Maaaaaan!, Satan is sooooooooo busy,  Always trying to get you suckered back in.  Yes I posted how much better I felt, and I do.  Just wanted to let you know the reality as well.  The real is.........I am now having mental cravings, you know.....the voices.  Best believe, there is no way I am giving into that dumb trick of the mind.  I am too fresh into this to forget the **** I was in on them *** percs.  I already know it will do me more harm than good to go back down that road.  I thought I would die from the mental torment, and depression.  I know that if I go back there, the same feeling is waiting on me!, I will not feel good, the pills will not do anything for me either.  So what would be the sense in doing that.  I knew Satan was going to try to pull this on me.  Im stronger than that, I have already made up my mind, that I do not want them.  So thats what it is....period *******! (smiles)  The thoughts will pass.  Wow....unbelieveable how this stuff works, its crazy.  You know......I feel I will never be normal again, because I will always have that addiction, that love for the percocets deep down inside of me.  The thing is, with the help of God, I have put that beast under arrest, I cannot let that beast out.  I will always remeber the deep dark dibilitating depression them pills put on me.......I cannot, and will not go back to that.  Nothing changes, if you go back, it doesnt get better, it will be the same **** waiting for me.  So I choose to fight, hopefully I will become bigger than these mental cravings!  OOOOOh this is sooooo sick, but one thing for sure, after 3 relapses I do know exactly what I will get if I start back up.  I know I cant live like that, its not worth it.  Being honest, thats why it gets a lil scary, because them voices are strong, you just gotta not do it, no matter what, because God will give you the strength to beat them!!  

I also learned the first go round that, them voices, and urges/cravings do weaken with time.  So I will fight to just keep doing what I need to do to keep gaining strength over this thing, and getting well.  I beat crack 9 yrs ago, that thought of that no longer even enters my mind.  I wish, and pray for that day with this situation as well, I realize it is a long way off, but I know it is possible.  Or even just getting to the point where even if it does enter my mind, the thought will be so weak, that I will be able to just throw it out immediately, without even thinking twice about it.  
They say dont look back, but I have to look back, to remember what them pills done to me, and my life, my mental status, just how messed up they had me!  I cant live like that....ever!  Yea its rough, but you gotta make a solid choice, and I have done that, just praying that the Lord keeps giving me the strength to continue to say NO!  I pray everyone else does to.   God Bless....& on to the next hour without pills!!!

[hiding288]

yes through my church.

[dominosarah]

Are you doing any aftercare?