please help- opioid withdrawal

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

hello everyone.. whenever I've ever needed help or positive words I always checked this site.. for the first time today I created an account.. anyone will any help would be MUCH appreciated.. :)

I began taking blues (roxicet) 30mg one at night every day or so in August 2010.. stopping for a few days or week at most..

in Sept 2011 I began taking much more.. by Oct/Nov I was doing 4 or 5 30mg & now all day long from the moment I woke up.. the number would go up to 7..

by February 2012 I was getting fed up with my addiction & went to a suboxone dr, took the subs for 1 month & 1/2 then stopped them cold turkey the withdrawal from suboxone & an emotionally stressful situation I wasn't equipped to handle sent me right back to the roxicet..

by now it's May & I'm using for another 4 months around 2-4 30mg a day.. get sick of being this person again so I stop August 7th after a lil taper & 2mg suboxone for first 3 days.. thn all natural

this lasts 3 weeks then it's September 1st & of course I couldn't have fun on my bday without those roxicet right? (wrong ;( ) so I begin using for 3 weeks..

October 1st 2012 (last Monday) - October 4 I took a half suboxone in the am & a xanax mid day/at night for anxiety & to help me sleep.. on October 5th I got my Vyvanse perscription so I took it until October 7th then stopped (made me cry over EVERYTHING) btw I continued with the suboxone /xanax until the 6th..

so since the 7th I have been completely clean

my times of use/stopping confuse me & idk how long my recovery (getting back to feeling normal) will take? I'm soooo tired I work 40+ hours a week I see in some posts exercise? I just work soo much that the thought is excruciating.. also I have trouble sleeping at night evn tho I can't keep my eyes open!! haven't eaten a full meal in days I gag when I smell food ;/ took a few vitamins today & forced myself to pick at food..

PLEASE, any & all info/help/advice would be sooo appreciated

I'm fed up with this life as an addict!! I'm ready to make changes

thank you

[Wendysue36]

I have read that Zofran helps withdrawals. It's used for nausea but according to many articles that I have googled it's takes away any withdrawals. I'm going to try it tonight since I'm currently withdrawing from percocet.

[jlannspr]

My post button has not been working?! How are you doing?

[candy_17]

First congratulations on your decision to stop using and on your days clean from the opiates!! That's a huge accomplishment!! My boyfriend is on day 44 from the same thing, and methadone and sub. I'm on day 32!! It can be done:) stay determined and committed. It will take time...but hey time takes time but you can do this!! Keep posting. Blessings to you.

[atthebeach]

if you think the reason you use is anxiety it would a good idea to talk with a therapist. how long have you had anxiety issues? was it before you started to use?
how old are you? you have thought about telling your parents? it is good to have someone you can be accountable to, someone to discuss things with,
i think that would be a good idea. i am a mom, i have 2 children who have used, i was very supportive of their recovery. do you think your parents know that you were using? i knew mine were, i also did alot of enabling which is never good.
good for you wanting to reclaim your life. your right addiction never ends in a good place.
aftercare is and can be many things,it is all part of a recovery plan. therapy,support groups,exercise,church,counseling with clergy,proper diet,staying away from the people,places and things associated with using.
volunteering,a new hobby.
yes keeping busy during your detox helps the time go faster and keeps your body and mind active. keep the faith......
keep posting for support.
debbie

[Nursey7]

Welcome and congrats on day 3!!  Do you have any pills left?  Is this a secret addiction? If so tell someone please.  Get those 2 things down if you haven't. Also, don't stress about the "why's" and the "how's" right now!  It will eat you up otherwise especially if you already have anxiety. I wanted to know so badly why did I use; how could a nurse from a good family use drugs? Simple answer- I am an addict, the same as if I were to find out I had diabetes. It's not our choice so don't beat yourself up. This is a serious illness as it requires a life long committment. So focus on getting through the physical part, keep hydrated, eat healthy. Are you still being followed by the doc that prescribed the Xanax for the anxiety. If so talk to them, ask for help. Hang in there and keep posting; this is a great place. I am at day 54 and it feels great :-)

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

^^ when I attended the one NA meeting was with a friend months ago for her nursing class & she asked me to join her. it was in our town

so I will look for more such as that one

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

I have attended an NA meeting .. & when I said better fastest I meant physically .. going to NA meetings is something I will def look into once I finish this post

[nursegirl6572]

There is no "fast" way to get better, maybe that's where you've gone wrong.  Addiction is a life long battle.  An addict can never let their guard down.  You could be clean 30 years and still relapse if the conditions are right.  That's why you have to educate yourself and treat the problems (anxiety) that led to you using.

[nursegirl6572]

Aftercare is long term, like therapy, NA/AA, something that will help you explore WHY you used, and help you come up with a plan to not relapse again.  You will also learn how relapse happens (there are actually several stages to relapse), and how to identify when you're at risk, and learn what to do about it.  You can still work, you will just have to make time to deal with these issues.

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

relapse is not a option to me.. I need help on how to get better fastest.. how long anyone thinks it will take.. tips on changing lifestyle/mind..?

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

I think I self Medicate due to anxiety.. I'm always nervous when I don't do my DOC which is what I've been working on dealing with.. I am withdrawing I'm sweating freezing can't eat or sleep well am exhausted to the point of collapsing.. I'm forcing myself to grin & bear it.. I have considered telling me parents & being sent to an aftercare however I work 2 jobs & pay so many bills. idk how I would get off.. my parents would help me.. how long is aftercare? a week? my problem is everytime a stressful situation happens I relapse.. my relapse binges are getting shorter & ahorter due to my guilt and disgust with what I'm doing to myself .. I TRULY WANT THIS!! I'm ready I'm over this sad song over & over I know how it ends !

& yes I have done NOTHING for 3 days.. completely clean..

thank u for your time &  your post

[nursegirl6572]

Sounds like you're a chronic relapser.  Have you done any aftercare in the past?  That's going to be crucial.  You have to figure out WHY you are self medicating and learn how to change that way of thinking.  Whatever you have done in the past hasn't worked, so time to do things differently.

So, are you using ANYTHING at all, or have you not taken ANYTHING for these 3 days?  Are you feeling a lot of w/ds?  You seem to be working a regular schedule, how are you managing that if you're having w/d symptoms?


Please don't use Sub unless you're going to do it properly, through a good sub clinic.  Doing what you're doing with the subs is just reinforcing that "self medicating" behavior you've grown accustomed to.

I wish you the very best in your recovery.

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

if you don't mind me asking how long have u been clean?

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

jobs/money & relationship problems... sums it up!! after using so long it's like I don't know how to deal with stressful situations anymore.. I FREAK out!! horrible anxiety.. ;/

[jlannspr]

My time before this, I was prescribed xanax and was taking hydros. It seemed to me that is was harder detoxing from two drugs. Either way, your body hasn't been rid of a drug in a long time. Please keep coming back here, and think things through before or if you want to give in. These peeps are amazing.

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

you're right!! since I haven't used an opiate in 9 days I forgot that since I was taking suboxone & xanax for a week & a few days...that I was STILL going to go thru w/d

[jlannspr]

YEP on the job thing!! I am a manager of 11 women and during my w/d, they want to all come in my office and talk and laugh and i want to holler at them, GET THE F*** out" and that's not me. You just have to tell yourself I"m healing and I have to take care of me right now. The rest will fall in place. Know your triggers before hand, and plot in your head what to do when encountering them. I always relapsed because of either job or ex-hsuband.

[jlannspr]

You are in the very middle of your withdrawl according to the people here and personal experience. Day 4 tends to go either way. Before you even consider using again or giving up, just try to get to day 7. Keep reading and posting!!

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

& btw my job also makes me want to use more ;/.. everything takes me 100x longer to do & is harder ;/ & then ppl say "why do u look so unhappy? or tired?" so frustrating!!!

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

that was great advice,.. thank you :) very beautiful words.. today is day 3 with nothing in my system

[jlannspr]

I found my job made me want to use more! Keeping busy by exercising or doing things out of the ordinary tend to be better on the feelings. How may days have you had nothing at all in your system?

There isn't an answer on how long. Depends on length of use, eating habits, social group, caffeine, nicotine/alcohol use, etc, etc. The best thing is just don't count your worries before they occur. Live in this one moment. In 100 days, you'll want to look back at your progress, not having to start over again.

The "Thomas Recipe" is very popular for w/d symptoms. Cutting ties will all suppliers, canceling prescriptions, and asking doctors to flag your chart as "allergic" to your drug of choice are all positive steps to prevent going backwards.

[itsgottabeagoodlife]

thanks for your help...

my one boss would murder me;/ . I work 10-5 for the next couple days so the sec I get home I just rest..

some ppl say keeping busy will help.. should I be more busy? or is 40+ hrs of work enough?

& how do long do u think this will last? ;/

[jlannspr]

Reading on this site is definately a start. Some great people will come along shortly and give you wonderful advice. It's not going to  be easy, but it'll be worth it. Can you take any time off work for a long weekend? Laying in bed for 4 solid days helped me through the thick of it.