Groundhogs Day

[kakarott]

I started hydros about 2-3 years ago.  started as a just for fun sort of thing then transformed into a full blown addiction.  at my peak I was taking 20-30 10-325s per day.  i went through a surgery and swore I would stop after i healed.  my surgey was Sept 3 2009.  i have tried to stop  a few times going 5-7 days a few times.  Then something would happen and i'd go get more.  i even started to get neurontin to help with the weekly withdraws i was having starting january of this year.  i got addiccted to those too.  july 9 i stopped hydro and then july 13 i stopped the neurontin.  i did great until aug 1st...my bday.  then i told myself just once it'll be ok.  it wasn't.  since then i have gone to the dr weekly to get more and for the first time bought off the street.  i am ina perpetual state of quitting. i can't break the cycle.  while i havent taken more than 6 days ina row since b4 july 9 i am still using when i dont need them.  i need help and dont know how to kill this demon.  any ideas?  inpatient is not an option i have 3 kids the youngest 9 weeks old.  i need to get my crap together and fast.  thanks for listening

[laurel453]

I wish i could.... but from your words it seems you are not being helped by the med you are taking, your anxiety is increasing and you don't feel any better. Speak to your doctor and tell him to change this med that is not helping you .

[judy1995]

I have started taking Zyprexa about a month now.  Only 2.5mg The first few days I felt better but I have become decreasingly disturbed.  I feel like I'm on a neverending groundhog day, every day nothing but pacing and a yearning for alcohol to feel somewhat human.  Can anyone help?  Is it just depression or is it the Zyprexa? or have I lost the plot.  My Doc says I'm not bipolar and I dont feel bipolar I'm just existing with no interest in people, material things, nothing.  I keep having a recurring thought that I'm gonna be institutualised for life.   I cant sleep, I cant eat, I just want to drink and smoke and pace.  I felt somewhat human after taking a valium or an alcoholic drink but the rest of the time I feel in a living hell.  I'm not having racing thoughts, just an intense feeling that I will never ever get out of this reality.  I wouldn't wish this existence on Hitler!    Can someone please help me.

[udoschoices]

i'm in the same boat - but you just have to get back up and do something different. I went to a counselor who said i needed NA and the community within to help - so i'm going to a meeting again today and posting on here and just do whatever you have to in order to break the cycle. You are not alone. Lot of good advice above and you will get plenty on this forum as evident by all i got on my first post "back" after going through countless cycles of what you are going through. You are on here because you want to quit - keep trying new things or nothing will change.

[laurel453]

Hi welcome to the forum


if you have tried several attempts without success, you may need making something different and this is aftercare.... NA meetings, addiction counselling, therapy.. whatever it may help you...because we need addressing the root of our problems and addictive behaviour...you need tools to deal with life and aftercare can provide you with them :)