HELP...is on the way?????

[eringobragh]

I got fired today, I have no insurance for Dr visits. Im going to take the time while looking for a job to get sober. If you look at my page, you will see I am a severe vicodin addict. im a mess. everything is out of control mostly because of these friggin nasty pills. i got fired because the economy is so bad, and I recruit. When companies are not hiring...they stop paying us thousands of dollars to hire people, with that being said, I was let go do to lack of performance. That makes me feel like $hit...obviously. but it wasnt because i dont show up or suck. i am a functioning addict like most of you. no one knows how i live for pills. they ni i had a problem, and got clean., and i was for 7 months. its been a year of chasing non stop, and i am so over it. im at my bottom. if you have any kind words...please do...and i know ive been on here for 2 months saying it. but i have a plan now. im going to taper what i have and get over it! Find a job, and start over....thats my intentions!

[ochooked]

Hi Erin  -- --- sounds like you reached that magic moment where you have made up your mind that this is the right time to quit.  Good for you.  There are lots of wise words here.  I only wanted to add that the single thing I did to help myself quit was to cut off my supply --- It was one of the most difficult things I did but I went to my doctor and told her I was quitting the Opiates --- She was very supportive.  The greatest thing this did for me was to take away those 'weak' moments when I felt like saying "I really didn't want to quit" or "I can wait till later to do this" ---  The next thing I did right was to set a quit date and stick to it -- then of course, you must change some of your friends if you have any 'users' around you.  One of the really good things was to become accountable to another person who could help give advice and encourage me.  Well, we all wish you the very best.  Hope you will stay and continue to post.

[wannabefree330]

Focus on getting well right now. Everything else will fall into place.  This is the time it's going to work for you!

[eringobragh]

everything all of you say is true...i guess its easier to give advice and take it and put it aside, but i really want this for me and all of the relationships i have in my life. i dont know if i can handle a tapper, im toooo much of an addict. i willl have to find a local na meeting and see how that goes. im so nervous. im afraid to tell everyone and let them all down again...im sure some of you know where im coming from?

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I was totally embarassed to do or say anything for so long. As worried says - it really isnt that big a thing....and if I say anything to anyone today, I usually end up hearing the story of their (substitute appropriate title) addiction encounter myself. Much better to not feel like you are living behind a smoke screen............

[worried878]

no...once i quit it didnt seem like such a dirty secret anymore..it is very common/addiction is....being embarassed can hinder u from getting the help u need...after i quit i saw that..it just didnt matter anymore..there are online meetings and literature u can read if u r afraid to go to meetings.....if the person u know is at the meeting then they are also an addict..so what is the diff?  get urself well..whatever it akes

[eringobragh]

thanks to you guys...i finally feel like im not the only one. i never thought i would have someone or so many people to exchange stories with. im so upset right now. i knew it was coming...i had been fired and rehired 3 times now. im just so nervous. i think and i have faith that this time off is what i need. i really need the money but i need my life right now. its a never ending chase that is never worth it. i hope that i can do it and sticxk to it. im to ashamed to tell anyone or go to anna meeting, i feel as tho this is one. anyone else so embarassed no one knows???

[worried878]

The time to do it is now....i am in the process of looking for another job and almost walked out and quit last week...but i took a day off and decided to play the game to get a paycheck for a while til i find another job...i always have found that things like this that seem so bad at the time..later on i look back and see the reason for it..and i am always in a better place

i had been needing to look for another job with better pay and benefits for a while ..perhaps this was a kick in the fanny to get out and start hunting for a better job...and I am...hard..it will come and u will be ok as well...just think what u can do when u r clean>.and the money u will save!

[cathy5841]

i am sure good will come from this if you use this time wisely.  get the stuff for the thomas recipe and the aminos and start on those.  you can do this...it is not easy, but then again, neither is the never ending search for pills and the stress of not having enough.  you should also spend some  time at some na meetings...it really helps.  it is important to pick a quit date and stick to the plan.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Does sound like a premium opportunity.....Remember that Door / Window thing you always hear about in Church...when one closes another one opens. You will be in my prayers also........stay strong.....it sounds like its your time to get clean...I am dusting off the calender on two yeqars myself....already passed the one year mark....from a habit that started innocently enough during Vietnam...thats been a while....so I know that you can do this................

[eringobragh]

thanks for all of your kind words. i always like to think everything happens for a reason...im hopeing that this time it will work. i really dont have options i have no insurance to see any dr's for any kind of pills!!! i'm just going to apply for jobs and deal with these withdrawals ill be having. im sure ill be on here alot. u r all in my prayers

[rello]

Sorry to hear about your job

But like wannabefree says .This could really be a blessing.
If you went cold turkey tomorrow you could be free from those pill in just a few days. without the pressure of work looming. Today was my first day back after the weekend and it really was the pits. mostly the worry of could i handle it.
The feeling that im breaking free from my prision of pills is second to none i'd highly recomend it
I did taper for months and im sure the withdrawals were easier
Good luck to you which ever way you choose to break free

[worried878]

good 4 u...when u r ready..ur ready...u just know it!

[wannabefree330]

I am sorry about your job.  This may have been a blessing in disguise for you.  Great idea to use this time to get clean.  You'll need to for a pre employment drug screen anyway.  Good for you, you've done it before and you can do it again.

Don't let your addiction fool you.....although you THINK you were doing a great job, in fact as well as if you were sober....you weren't.  Our minds are always preoccupied with our drugs.  Even at work.  I used to tell myself I did a BETTER job on drugs.  Just another one of my many excuses to continue using.  If you were let go for lack of performance- it was probably due to everyone cutting back, but still, there is no such thing as a functioning addict.  In the middle of our use we are totally dysfunctional in every aspect of our lives.

Get clean, and go get the job you've always wanted.

[HelpinUtah]

I'm so sorry!!!  You can pick yourself back up - it is not easy but so worth it!!!  As for seeing a doctor, here in Utah, you can go to a therapist for 3 visits for free if you have no insurance.  Maybe look into that on the mental health side of things.  You might be able to get help with the withdrawals that way?  

Either way, you are in my prayers!

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!