It's great that you have identified these common problems with tramadol after a relatively short period of time. For many, tramadol is just not a good drug for medium to long term pain control.
It's very common to get tolerance so that you need to constantly increase your dose over time to reach an effective dose. It can also reach the point that it ceases to work at all & some have found that their pain increases.
Tramadol also contains an SSRI which can cause strange side effects including insomnia & panic.
Due to the SSRI component, it's best to taper off tramadol slowly. Your doctor should be able to give you a taper plan. Tell the doctor it's like tapering off the antidepressant effexor which is tramadol's chemical cousin. The Thomas recipe can help ease the withdrawals.
In general, you are probably better taking a reduced dose on a more frequent basis rather than leaving days between doses.
Emily Post's journal is dedicated to tramadol withdrawal & there are many posters contributing on a daily basis. It's worth reading through the journal as there are lots of tips about what has worked for different people & great emotional support.
The current thread is
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/233589/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-38?personal_page_id=142
The fact that she is up to part 38 with an average of 200 posts per part shows you what a widespread problem tramadol is, so you are not at all alone.
Best wishes.