Aa
Help me please. I think my boyfriend is doing drugs.
I know this is very long but please read this I need help!
I am having a lot of trouble here and need an outsider's opinion on this. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now but have known him much longer. He was always very carefree, lived day by day, never seemed to care about himself or anyone else. He was almost reckless. He went thru a phase where he drank heavily everyday with his best friend. He would drink to the point where he would black out, drive home, wake up, go to school, and do it all over again. He continued this pattern for over a month. He also went thru a brief period of cocaine use. I think he only used cocaine a handful of times but it is still a huge deal to me. He then got into doing pills (crushing and snorting them) which became a problem for him. This took place around the beginning of our relationship. He recently finished a methadone program and to my knowledge has been clean. He was also selling drugs (I don't know what) around 2 months ago but stopped because I threatened to leave him if he didn't.
I am now highly suspicious that he is using heroin. This is killing me. I am losing sleep and have no motivation at all to do everyday things, which is so opposite of how I normally am. I am so unlike my boyfriend. I am anti-drugs. I occasionally will drink at a party. I've smoked pot but hate the stuff, it makes me bug out. Drugs scare the **** out of me and I hate everything that has to do with them. This is making me so worried and I'm really terrified about what could happen if this is true.
I truly believe that he has been injecting himself with heroin. I've felt this way for about a week now. It's not just one thing, it's several factors that just add up in my mind. For one, his friends are all scum bags. I hate them. They are grimy. There have been rumors in my circle of friends that the guys he hangs out with have been doing heroin. I have heard this several times from my closest friends.
I became suspicious one night at his house when he spent a long time in the bathroom. He told me he was taking a **** and I was standing outside the door because he asked me to come talk to him. When I was talking to him I felt like something wasn't right, I just had a gut feeling. I remember him telling me that when he would do pills he'd go into the bathroom and I wouldn't know. While I was taking to him he asked me to go get him a q-tip because "he had something in his ear." When I brought it to the door he opened it and was completely dressed. Then after a little while longer he told me I could go away because he was going to start making noises. I just felt like this was very odd because in the past he would just go to the bathroom with the door open and not even care. When he came out he seemed to be acting very weird. I heard him rummaging in his room in a plastic bag and when I came in he asked me to get out and yelled when I wouldn't. He said it was because he didn't want me to know where his money was but he NEVER had a problem with that before because I am completely trustworthy and he knows that. He appeared to be acting very odd and seemed high but I never like to jump to conclusions. He had difficulty counting his money and remembering numbers which is never a problem for him. The next morning before he left for work I heard him rummage in another plastic bag before going to the bathroom and spending a lot of time in the bathroom again.
That night I went thru the same sort of thing except I was outside with some of his sister's friends so I am not sure how long he was in the bathroom for. He told me he'd be out in a little while and when he came outside he seemed high again. He also took a hit off a blunt which is a red flag to me because I know he ONLY smokes weed when he is ****** up because he hates it and bugs out. He appeared sweaty, very tired, and I noticed he had trouble urinating. The next morning I heard him rummaging in that bag and clanking around in the bathroom. He thought I was half asleep and wouldn't notice. After he left for work I did some snooping and found syringes in that bag. One or two were used and there was also a q-tip. In the bathroom I found a folded up picture (which I took) with white powder on the back next to a cup. I also found a belt on the floor which was all wound up tight.
When I confronted him about the needles he told me they were his friends. He told me a few days before that he was holding needles and steroids for his friend and even showed them to me. The ones I found were in a different spot and he told me he didn't want to hide them all together. This honestly did not convince me.
Over the past week I noticed him seem high once and I also noticed a couple times that he had vaseline on the crooks of his arms. He is tired all the time, which isn't unusual because he works very early in the morning everyday, but it does seem that he is sleeping more than normal. He also refuses to cut his hair. This could be nothing but of course with everything else it worries me. As far as our relationship goes he is completely normal, treats me well, and nothing has changed.
Today I got around to testing the substance I found in his bathroom. I used an at home test I bought at a drug store. According to the test it is heroin that I found. For me this was like total confirmation that all my suspicions were true. I tried to talk to him but I am getting nothing out of him. I told him I am not trying to argue, I am not mad, I am just trying to talk. I told him I know the truth, it's right in front of my face, that I found heroin in his bathroom. I even showed him the test but he just denies, denies, denies. He claims the heroin must belong to one of his sisters friends who were at the house that night. He even showed me a mark on his arm and told me he scraped himself with something at work. I don't know what a needle mark looks like really so I couldn't argue that. I told him over and over that I know the truth and I don't believe him and I wish he would stop lying but he tells me he's not doing anything, and "thank you for caring so much but nothing is wrong and the conversation is over."
I just don't know what to do. Even thought I am so sure in my mind that he is using heroin there is still the tiniest part that believes him. After writing this whole thing out I feel that I am stupid to believe what he tells me. How do I get him to confess? I don't want to break up with him. I just want to know what's going on and I deserve to know the truth. I need him to admit this to me so I can know that I am not crazy and so that I can help him. I am so scared because I know the risks that come with using heroin. Do you agree that I am not a psycho, I am not making this up in my mind, that this is for real? How can I get him to admit this to me? He has had a hard time talking to me about drugs because I just don't understand because I have never been there. Should I try being more compassionate and understanding? Or should I be more assertive and tell him not to talk to me unless he plans on telling me the truth because I just can't take this anymore? Any type of advice would help here really. Thank you so much if you read all of this.
I am having a lot of trouble here and need an outsider's opinion on this. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now but have known him much longer. He was always very carefree, lived day by day, never seemed to care about himself or anyone else. He was almost reckless. He went thru a phase where he drank heavily everyday with his best friend. He would drink to the point where he would black out, drive home, wake up, go to school, and do it all over again. He continued this pattern for over a month. He also went thru a brief period of cocaine use. I think he only used cocaine a handful of times but it is still a huge deal to me. He then got into doing pills (crushing and snorting them) which became a problem for him. This took place around the beginning of our relationship. He recently finished a methadone program and to my knowledge has been clean. He was also selling drugs (I don't know what) around 2 months ago but stopped because I threatened to leave him if he didn't.
I am now highly suspicious that he is using heroin. This is killing me. I am losing sleep and have no motivation at all to do everyday things, which is so opposite of how I normally am. I am so unlike my boyfriend. I am anti-drugs. I occasionally will drink at a party. I've smoked pot but hate the stuff, it makes me bug out. Drugs scare the **** out of me and I hate everything that has to do with them. This is making me so worried and I'm really terrified about what could happen if this is true.
I truly believe that he has been injecting himself with heroin. I've felt this way for about a week now. It's not just one thing, it's several factors that just add up in my mind. For one, his friends are all scum bags. I hate them. They are grimy. There have been rumors in my circle of friends that the guys he hangs out with have been doing heroin. I have heard this several times from my closest friends.
I became suspicious one night at his house when he spent a long time in the bathroom. He told me he was taking a **** and I was standing outside the door because he asked me to come talk to him. When I was talking to him I felt like something wasn't right, I just had a gut feeling. I remember him telling me that when he would do pills he'd go into the bathroom and I wouldn't know. While I was taking to him he asked me to go get him a q-tip because "he had something in his ear." When I brought it to the door he opened it and was completely dressed. Then after a little while longer he told me I could go away because he was going to start making noises. I just felt like this was very odd because in the past he would just go to the bathroom with the door open and not even care. When he came out he seemed to be acting very weird. I heard him rummaging in his room in a plastic bag and when I came in he asked me to get out and yelled when I wouldn't. He said it was because he didn't want me to know where his money was but he NEVER had a problem with that before because I am completely trustworthy and he knows that. He appeared to be acting very odd and seemed high but I never like to jump to conclusions. He had difficulty counting his money and remembering numbers which is never a problem for him. The next morning before he left for work I heard him rummage in another plastic bag before going to the bathroom and spending a lot of time in the bathroom again.
That night I went thru the same sort of thing except I was outside with some of his sister's friends so I am not sure how long he was in the bathroom for. He told me he'd be out in a little while and when he came outside he seemed high again. He also took a hit off a blunt which is a red flag to me because I know he ONLY smokes weed when he is ****** up because he hates it and bugs out. He appeared sweaty, very tired, and I noticed he had trouble urinating. The next morning I heard him rummaging in that bag and clanking around in the bathroom. He thought I was half asleep and wouldn't notice. After he left for work I did some snooping and found syringes in that bag. One or two were used and there was also a q-tip. In the bathroom I found a folded up picture (which I took) with white powder on the back next to a cup. I also found a belt on the floor which was all wound up tight.
When I confronted him about the needles he told me they were his friends. He told me a few days before that he was holding needles and steroids for his friend and even showed them to me. The ones I found were in a different spot and he told me he didn't want to hide them all together. This honestly did not convince me.
Over the past week I noticed him seem high once and I also noticed a couple times that he had vaseline on the crooks of his arms. He is tired all the time, which isn't unusual because he works very early in the morning everyday, but it does seem that he is sleeping more than normal. He also refuses to cut his hair. This could be nothing but of course with everything else it worries me. As far as our relationship goes he is completely normal, treats me well, and nothing has changed.
Today I got around to testing the substance I found in his bathroom. I used an at home test I bought at a drug store. According to the test it is heroin that I found. For me this was like total confirmation that all my suspicions were true. I tried to talk to him but I am getting nothing out of him. I told him I am not trying to argue, I am not mad, I am just trying to talk. I told him I know the truth, it's right in front of my face, that I found heroin in his bathroom. I even showed him the test but he just denies, denies, denies. He claims the heroin must belong to one of his sisters friends who were at the house that night. He even showed me a mark on his arm and told me he scraped himself with something at work. I don't know what a needle mark looks like really so I couldn't argue that. I told him over and over that I know the truth and I don't believe him and I wish he would stop lying but he tells me he's not doing anything, and "thank you for caring so much but nothing is wrong and the conversation is over."
I just don't know what to do. Even thought I am so sure in my mind that he is using heroin there is still the tiniest part that believes him. After writing this whole thing out I feel that I am stupid to believe what he tells me. How do I get him to confess? I don't want to break up with him. I just want to know what's going on and I deserve to know the truth. I need him to admit this to me so I can know that I am not crazy and so that I can help him. I am so scared because I know the risks that come with using heroin. Do you agree that I am not a psycho, I am not making this up in my mind, that this is for real? How can I get him to admit this to me? He has had a hard time talking to me about drugs because I just don't understand because I have never been there. Should I try being more compassionate and understanding? Or should I be more assertive and tell him not to talk to me unless he plans on telling me the truth because I just can't take this anymore? Any type of advice would help here really. Thank you so much if you read all of this.
I am dealing with a similar situation I found a dope pipe in my boyfriends pocket while he was sleeping this morning of course he denied it to the fullest saying it was his friends and his friend had left it in his car I've had suspiciouns of him doing it for awhile but he always get really angry and denys it I've been with him for 4 years and we just had a child together only 5 weeks ago I don't know what to do I'm at a total loss and I told him I would drug test him and he agreed so if any one has any advice for me please I need help!
I found out about my boyfriends addiction to heroin 3 days before the delivery of my baby. I noticed a mark on his arm and Inquired about it, he confessed because we never lie to eachother. I'm going through it!!!! not only am I sort of forced to help or be with him I have a newborn for him and I cry a lot because its mentally draining. He's curently seeking detox he wants help I kno he does because he cries real tears telling me he wants better just talk to him and suggest detox. I kno what u are going through good luck if u want I can give u my email address because I have almost became an expert at this stuff I kno how the marks look I know withdrawal symptoms I kno a lot.
I found out about my boyfriends addiction to heroin 3 days before the delivery of my baby. I noticed a mark on his arm and Inquired about it, he confessed because we never lie to eachother. I'm going through it!!!! not only am I sort of forced to help or be with him I have a newborn for him and I cry a lot because its mentally draining. He's curently seeking detox he wants help I kno he does because he cries real tears telling me he wants better just talk to him and suggest detox. I kno what u are going through good luck if u want I can give u my email address because I have almost became an expert at this stuff I kno how the marks look I know withdrawal symptoms I kno a lot.
Hey i was wondering how your boyfriend turned out? Is he still doing heroin? Are you still with him? I am in the same situation you were in. I am pretty sure my boyfriend is doing heroin, I have been with him for 3 years now and its just the past 3 months i have felt he has been doing heroin. He has been lying to me about where hes going, hes not himself anymore. He doesnt take care of himself, i have to force him to shave and cut his hair. Hes stays up late but nods off the whole time, and gets mad that hes nodding off so it doesnt make sence. I have talked to his mother about it and she has been thinking the same thing because he is not acting himself. He always goes in the bathroom for awhile and twice i found small pieces of tin foil floating in the toilet. When his mom confronted him about the foil he said it was from hersey kisses but this was thick foil so that was a lie. Than i found white powder on a desk and his ID covered in white powder and he tried to tell me maybe one of his friends was doing coke on the desk and its probally candy on the ID because that makes alot of sense. I dont want to leave him because i love him and dont want him doing heroin but he gets mad at me and fights with me anything i bring it up. I am really worried about him and im always stressed and upset watching how he nodds off and lets him self go now. I dont know anything about heroin or what i should do, im worried things are going to get worse or even overdose. I know he has to want help in order to get help but hes so stubborn and just keeps lying to me. I was thinking of drug testing him, he said he will take a drug test i just dont know how hes going to act when i actually give it to him and i think hes just going to say he took a vicodin because on a drug test it just shows opiates so it could be either or.
hey jenny.
ive been in the same shoes as yourself, maybe alittle diff.
me and my EX got together in 2006 it was perfect everything was great, the only thing was i ate pills and he smoked pot, about 4 months into the relationship we both talked about being clean an did so.
i quit and he quit.
we moved in together in the 5th month of our relationship, everything was fine for about 2 weeks then i started noticing little things like how he would let me in the bathroom most of the time (if i needed to get in for something lol)but then there were times he would tell me to go the h*** away i thought i was his pooo stinked or something lol idk.
well one day i went to go into the bedroom and he had locked the door, i knocked and asked him to open up he said hang on, he opened the door and he had white stuff in his nose.
ive done coke i know what im looking for and i know the high blah blah. thats the diff. your kinda in the dark of what to exp. and what to look for. (back to the story)
i looked at him and i was like hang on babe you got something on your nose an he fliped the h*** out, its a booger or something on those lines. i was like oh i think i laughed it off.
well the next day he went to work and i started looking around and i found baggies, straw, blades. when he got home i had everything on the table and i was like what the F*** is this. IDK where that came from. LIE LIE LIE.
My point is i went through this for about 16 months, i would hide money for rent it would vanish, 2 bank accounts $400.00+ in the negative, stealing from my family and his, i was working 2 jobs when i couldnt get him to work 1.
i walked out when i caught him smoking crack!!!!!
Listen i understand you love him, i loved mine too but there is a time when you have got to draw a line step outside the box and just watch him self destruct.i know it sounds bad really really bad, smacks are the worst(i think)addicts because the drug is sooooo dependant on fixes. dont be as stupid as i was an let him get you all himed up in some s*** that will make your head spin.
FYI- i still talk to him an still love him just as much, and he is clean now has a great job, his own house, a nice truck. Guess what he hit rock bottom before he cleaned up. he was sleeping in a truck for daysssss at a time, stealing, smokin, snortin, pawning, liein, doing anything to get high. it only took him 1 month after i left him to hit his low.
AND we were together for alittle over 2 years, Friends to this day.
Good Luck Jenny
Be Smart About It!!
ive been in the same shoes as yourself, maybe alittle diff.
me and my EX got together in 2006 it was perfect everything was great, the only thing was i ate pills and he smoked pot, about 4 months into the relationship we both talked about being clean an did so.
i quit and he quit.
we moved in together in the 5th month of our relationship, everything was fine for about 2 weeks then i started noticing little things like how he would let me in the bathroom most of the time (if i needed to get in for something lol)but then there were times he would tell me to go the h*** away i thought i was his pooo stinked or something lol idk.
well one day i went to go into the bedroom and he had locked the door, i knocked and asked him to open up he said hang on, he opened the door and he had white stuff in his nose.
ive done coke i know what im looking for and i know the high blah blah. thats the diff. your kinda in the dark of what to exp. and what to look for. (back to the story)
i looked at him and i was like hang on babe you got something on your nose an he fliped the h*** out, its a booger or something on those lines. i was like oh i think i laughed it off.
well the next day he went to work and i started looking around and i found baggies, straw, blades. when he got home i had everything on the table and i was like what the F*** is this. IDK where that came from. LIE LIE LIE.
My point is i went through this for about 16 months, i would hide money for rent it would vanish, 2 bank accounts $400.00+ in the negative, stealing from my family and his, i was working 2 jobs when i couldnt get him to work 1.
i walked out when i caught him smoking crack!!!!!
Listen i understand you love him, i loved mine too but there is a time when you have got to draw a line step outside the box and just watch him self destruct.i know it sounds bad really really bad, smacks are the worst(i think)addicts because the drug is sooooo dependant on fixes. dont be as stupid as i was an let him get you all himed up in some s*** that will make your head spin.
FYI- i still talk to him an still love him just as much, and he is clean now has a great job, his own house, a nice truck. Guess what he hit rock bottom before he cleaned up. he was sleeping in a truck for daysssss at a time, stealing, smokin, snortin, pawning, liein, doing anything to get high. it only took him 1 month after i left him to hit his low.
AND we were together for alittle over 2 years, Friends to this day.
Good Luck Jenny
Be Smart About It!!
Date me?
joking it sounds like your a great girl and i appreciate that.
but if all else fails try this.
Try agreeing with him, and becoming his friend with his drug problems no matter what. It may take a lot of dicipline and sound unorthidox but its worked with me.
Be his friend instead of disagreeing with his use. Use this to try to get info in a way. After that wait for him to come to you. It will help him in the long run and will only take a couple of days before he relizes hes setting a bad example for you.
Now im not experienced with this but it may help you. Try it if you feel up to it, sorry your dealing with this, but if you need support from a guys point of view i can help you.
joking it sounds like your a great girl and i appreciate that.
but if all else fails try this.
Try agreeing with him, and becoming his friend with his drug problems no matter what. It may take a lot of dicipline and sound unorthidox but its worked with me.
Be his friend instead of disagreeing with his use. Use this to try to get info in a way. After that wait for him to come to you. It will help him in the long run and will only take a couple of days before he relizes hes setting a bad example for you.
Now im not experienced with this but it may help you. Try it if you feel up to it, sorry your dealing with this, but if you need support from a guys point of view i can help you.
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