Need some Encouragement

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

So I'm on my second week of tapering and I'm struggling. I feel like such a loser cuz most of you are struggling cold turkey and feel I shouldn't complain about a taper. But oh we'll here goes...
So...second week of tapering. Went from 5 pills a day last week to 4 pills a day this week. This is the third day of the reduction and I am stuck at work! I have a job where I sit in a chair at a desk all day (12 hour shifts!!!!) and I can't leave the desk. I have nothing to do but sit here and think and feel EVERYTHING! Uuuugggghhhhh!
I just want to go home but I can't. I can't miss work the whole time I'm tapering. I'm trying to save missing work for when I actually jump off. This is torture. I have pills....I want to take them! That's it! But I can't cuz then I won't have the right amount for the taper. Plus my husband handing then out each day and he WILL NOT give me more.
I wanna cry, I wanna sleep, I wanna puke (literally...I've been nauseous all week), I wanna run away and hide. Help!
Any words of encouragement/advice?

[meegWpaw]

3x your doing good!  I did a taper when I first got clean, we can't say specifically but mine was very slow and I really felt it worked for me.  Still it was hard.  Any way you do it it's going to be hard.  I did a taper becuz I was on such a high amount of pills that I was scared to just ct.  I did go through wd/s, again I was using a lot so the wd was still pretty bad, but it would have been worse without the taper imo.  You just have to be sure to stick to it, to the letter, so that's good your hub has them.  It will pay off so try to persevere.  Your doing great!

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

Well I made it to bed. That must count for something....

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

Yes I am very thankful my husband has the pills. Tapering is definitely hard. I feel like I'm drawing out the inevitable and extending the withdrawals, but I also have great great hope that this tapering will pay off when I eventually stop. I just keep thinking about that...that it will be worth it when I jump off them. Anyways, today has been rough and I still have another 12 hour shift tomorrow. Ugh! Being stuck at this desk is just horrible. And worst yet still is I want to cry off n on and I'm at work so I can't. Agh!

[VICourageous]

First of all YOU are not a loser!!!!!!  I know you are not alone. There are many of us that will think of a pill or more pills to add to the ones we did when we feel, lonely, bored, depressed, etc., etc., or we want to get wired up and get all the work done at once. I have about 14 months in (I think) and today has been one of my worse days..I am crying for no reason. I do have a lot on my plate right now, so I just took this like I really needed these REAL EMOTIONS to come out. Oh you bet your sweet ash that I had cravings. BUT what you will find out in the long run is that it only takes a Min to think like that and a Min to re-direct your self.
Do not be scared..I think you are doing a VERY GOOD job and having your Hub hand them out is the Key..When you are completely clean then you will have to work a bit harder then ever..BUT I also will say that right now you are in the Learning Process. You have not gave in to more pills that you know are there..That Rocks right there..SO look at the positive... you work, you take care of a family and so on. That is a big plus in my book..You will be so happy and grateful when you start to feel your Brain getting clearer and clearer. Just do not give in. I am also so glad that YOU can do a taper..I could not so I had had to jump off of 3 meds at once. Some people that I do know would tease me becasue for 10 years or more, I told them I was trying to taper..lmao. I have the longest taper record in town..Ha!! I just could not do it. Be proud of your self because you will be one of the successful ones..Just try to get all the Support you can from many areas in your Life. I do wish you the Best!
Bless.

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

Thank you for your response. My doc is hydrocodone 10/325 I was taking 90 +mg a day and now I'm at 4 7.5s a day so that's only 30mg and I am feeling the difference. Before starting the 5 a day last week I had tapered from the 90 to around 55-60mg so I jumped from 60 ish to 37.5 mg last week, then to 30 mg this week.
I have some music playing but it's like nothing distracts me enough. I feel like I've looked at everything on the Internet. At work we can't go to certain websites...so no Hulu Netflix etc
And at home I have a 14 month old so I can't really tend to myself cuz I have to take care if him. Ugh! I know....pity party. I just feel so down and hopeless and the thought of continuing to decrease is scaring me.... I don't know...

[BearsFan1966]

I am really sorry you are going threw this! I myself could not taper and took the plunge 80 days ago! The first 3-5 days were the worst but after that with the help of the Thomas Recipe and the people here it was better....I wish you the best on your taper and just stay strong!

[ouchie1987]

What was your drug of choice? I personally couldn't do the taper, I wasn't strong enough n it prolonged my wd symptoms.
Can you put headphones in and blast music? Can you watch a tv show? This site saved my life cuz it distracted me.
When you get home try have a really hot bath. N go for a long walk. I am here fir you, good luck you're doing great