Help me

[ummyeah]

Im a 25 year old mother of two wonderful kids and im addicted to painkillers. I wanna quit sooo bad but i need them to just feel normal now. I was prescribed lorcets 10/650 two years ago after an injury and it has completely ruined my life!!! Any help on how to get off of them would be greatly appreciated.

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  You have come to the right place as we have all been in your shoes.  How much are you taking a day?  Are you getting these from your doctor?  You can get your life back and it will be better than before but it will take work on your part.  We are here to support you while you go thru this transformation~~

[ummyeah]

Im taking between 20 and 70 mgs a day and i no longer get them from my doctor. I have to get them off the streets and i pay $7 per pill!!! I really want to quit and get my life back and keep that extra money in my pockets because i know ive spent a helluva lot of money on them

[ummyeah]

This is so embarrassing because ive always frowned down on addicts and now im one. I never thought this would be me!!!

[dominosarah]

You dont have to be embarrassed with us.  We all know what you are feeling.  Have you thought about going cold turkey?  Is someone there that could help you with the kids?  Cutting your sources needs to be done.

[kyle505]

Welcome - so you're taking a small to medium amount daily and have been doing so for about two years? Besides the meds, are you healthy otherwise, I.e., no blood pressure problems, depression, etc.?  
As Sarah said, this is the place to be if you are serious about getting clean - getting your life back.  It will take some hard work - and you'll be pushing yourself to places you've never been.  Hundreds have managed to get and stay clean - no reason not to add your name to the list.
Do you work outside the home?

[ummyeah]

Yes i would like to quit cold turkey and i dont really have help with my kids because no one knows what im going through. When i cant get any pills and im walking around like a zombie and extremely aggravated i just tell my family i have a headache or whatever comes to mind. But when im on the pills im a completely different perdon and the best mommy in the world because they make me so happy and give me tons of energy and thats sad because my kids deserve so much better. They deserve a good mommy whp doesnt need drugs to be able to play with them. And to answer the other questions No i dont have any medical problems and Yes i work outside of the home

[dominosarah]

Those pills are giving you a false sense of security.  They are actually doing you much harm.  Is your job demanding?

[kyle505]

Ok. You really can do this. And one very important thing - and I don't mean to upset you - but don't use your kids, being a great mom, as an excuse to use. I DID. I thought I was a better father on the pills and that's what my kids deserved, when in fact they deserved the real me, not high, not chasing pills, not with my head constantly in the fog. By the way, my three really love the clean me. We do so much more together and I can appreciate them more than ever.  
Your kids need and, as you just said, deserve so much better. If need be, start off getting clean for them, then ultimately do it for you.  
We will be here every step of the way.  

[ummyeah]

I work at a casino hotel doing housekeeping. And thank you two so much for the encouraging words. Your replies made me cry. It feels good to know that someone does care :)

[kyle505]

Please keep posting, especially during weak moments. Do you have anyone you can talk to?

[conhall]

You have been given great advice and just to let you know many of us here are parents and I used to also think it made me a better Mommy boy was I wrong . I am clean now and My kids just Love me being the Mommy I am now . I never did stuff with them I went to work came home and laid in bed threw dinner together and did just what I needed to do and nothing more Makes me very sad to think of all that now. But i did something about it I took my life back and gave my kids the best gift in the world Their Mommy back!

Make a plan you can do this Get rid of your Pill source and I mean get rid rid of it because on day 2 and 3 you will be hearing the voice just 1 pill wont hurt it will help get over this hurdle and it WONT! Start making some healthy changes start exercising Take Vitamins drink water get those Toxins out and with exercise it will help to get back those endorphins and each day you will see it does get better the physical part and then there's the mental part. I would strongly recommend an aftercare program i go to group 4 people and we meet 2 to 3 times a week and we are all addicts.
i tried NA and I just like smaller group setting for me it worked .
The first week it will all be physical and there are a few things that will help Immodium,Stomach issues, water gatoraid, Ensure protein drinks , melatonin for sleep. And keep posting on here you will get lots of support and advice. each day will get easier but to win the battle you must fight the war first and Like I said keep posting this forum is great you will get the help you need.
good luck and I hope to see more post and I am here to help! :)

[ummyeah]

@ Kyle no because no one knows of my problem and @ Conhall thank you :)

[conhall]

You said nobody knows if you could just tell someone they  can help you so much to get the support you need right now By just even telling one person close to you and then go from there by telling more of your friends and family so they can help you through this.
Wds are hard enough w/o having to go through the anxiety of feeling alone. And right now you need all the support you can get.

[ummyeah]

I know but i dont want anyone to judge me or start treating me differently. I already feel bad enough as is.

[dominosarah]

Crying is okay, it becomes very healing for us so cry away!  Are you close to your parents or siblings?  I know this seems like a lot of questions but they tell us what is going on with you and how to proceed!

[ummyeah]

I would like to go to a substance abuse clinic but ive heard that the meds they give u can cause you to become addicted then that will be another problem

[conhall]

people will surprise you , I also thought that to and for me I think it was more about because I wasn't afraid they'd judge me I was afraid I would have accountability.
It was such an important thing for me once I told my dirty lil secret.
The truth will set you free think about it and make a plan and get the support you need. A true friend will not turn their back on you they will help you and yes Hold you accountable.
I have to sign off for now I am driving a friend to airport But I will be back on and I am here to give you support and advice. keep posting and think about what I said

[dominosarah]

I would find a substance abuse counselor, not a clinic.  The meds they may give are some pretty heavy hitters and come with their own set of problems.  Usually the ones who are on Meth or Subs have been addicted for many years and this is their last chance.  You arent that far into this so that is good.

[dominosarah]

You can do this, just know that!  Let this be the first day of a new and wonderful beginning~~

[clean_in_ks]

Welcome....if you really, really want to get clean you can do it!  The people on this forum have been thru it all.......nothing will shock us or surprise us!
That's the beauty of sharing.  But seriously, since your job outside the home is a physical one and you are choosing not to share with anyone......
I could not do it that way.  I had to have help and I had to be able to be "a mess" for while.  You are quite young (to me, LOL) and your daily mg's are not really high.  2 yrs you've been taking them.  You have a lot of factors "on your side" here, age, amt, time, etc.  That's not as bad as some with a 15 yr or 6 yr or 35 yr history to overcome.  
I hope you will feel welcome and encouraged to talk w/all of us.
There is a ton of wisdom here........and a lot of variation.....which is just how God designed us......think how boring it would be if we all agreed with each other, Ha!!!!!!

[dominosarah]

Love the last line!!!  Makes it rather exciting at times!  lol

[ummyeah]

Thank you all very much. Im going to TRY and get some sleep now which i know will be difficult without the pills. If i cant sleep i will be posting some more. But if i can i will be posting all day tomorrow as it will be my first day trying to detox. Wish me luck :)

[dominosarah]

We will be here tomorrow so let us know how you are doing~

[Sweet_Daddy]

I am going through the same exact thing right now so I will be doing everything right along with you.  I was taking about 50-80 mg of Norcos and Percs per day for the better part of 3 years up until a couple days ago when I went to 0 mg.  These last couple of days have completely been a burning hell on earth for me but I seem to remember how much more I cared about everything before I started taking all these pills.  I had actual emotions and could enjoy the "good" days without having to make myself feel high to create a "good" day..if that makes sense.  Anyway,  I am right there with you so you aren't alone.