Here i am on day 1 again ;(

[kickinhydro]

I am on day 1 again after many many relapses. I'm so sick & tired of this. I HAVE 2 do it right this time but I don't know how, I have a feeling of hopelessness I started counseling last week and I go 2 AA on wed. Nites it does help a little, I was going 2 try suboxone but now I kinda think its a bad idea, I don't want 2 become hooked on it. How do some of u guys do it? What can help me not cave this time? I normally make it like 10-30 days then cave everytime. Its always the no sleep & depression that just linges on after W/D is over. I have only kept on taking the hydros 2 feel normal they have stoped making me happy a long time ago. Hope this time I go all the way just scared of the unknown.
Jessica

[kickinhydro]

Thanks for the encouragement (sp) so u r day 1 also? Days 4 & 5 r usually my worst. Not sure if I can pm or not I don't have a computer am on my blackberry only have the mobile version of MH. What were u taking & how much? Hope we make it, I know we will! Well I'm going to read ur post.
Well hang in there, & very best of luck 2 u!
Jessica

[corey411]

Hi Jess and sorry for your relapse. I too have relapsed many times and posted my day 1 again post a bit farther down. It sounds like you are doing the right thing with the NA and counseling. I have had and enjoyed many months of cleantime and can tell you that it does get better. I promise it does. It takes a good 6 months to start consistently feel normal again. The days will get better you just have to have faith, a good support system and keep on trying. You are doing something different this time. Just give it time and hold on. Your system will re-adjust and you will be able to have a happy and fullfilling sp? life. If you need a day 1 again buddy feel free to PM anytime. Tons of luck, Corey