Aa
Hi everyone can you help me get through this ?
Day 1 of CT from OC about 80mg's a day for several months///down to 40 mg on last 2 days. I know HELL ON EARTH is coming.
Can I post here to get support? How do I do this with support from this awesome community?
Hell is coming....argggh
I want to be clean so bad and be a better father to my young kids and a beter husband. Family has no idea. Told them the flu is coming! But I will need someone to talk to!
This is gonna suck isnt it? ARRGH!
Can I post here to get support? How do I do this with support from this awesome community?
Hell is coming....argggh
I want to be clean so bad and be a better father to my young kids and a beter husband. Family has no idea. Told them the flu is coming! But I will need someone to talk to!
This is gonna suck isnt it? ARRGH!
All,
I know that this topic is two years old and I'm sorry to bring it back to the top being so dated. I only wanted to add want can only be called a post script to the subject.
I was a part of this thread for many weeks during one of many attempts at recovery. It was a joyful time, inspirational, transcendent even. Odd that I over-looked what was really the most important post for me...."Make sure you get into aftercare, it's really important!...."
I blew right past that advice as I suppose many of my friends did as well. I saw a psych dr. for about six months and thought that I was cured. I began to use again, though not anything like before. I few days on, a few days off. But still, I'm not in any pain, I would take them for fun....but it's not really fun....the first time was fun....that was the last time it was fun. I am clean again, but attending a local AA meeting (same story, different drug) almost daily. I would encourage those who are considering kicking the habit or are in the withdrawal phase of coming clean to read through some of the journey above, as it was indeed inspirational to many.
But be warned that you will never be cured, you cannot succeed on your own and you will need on-going support. It took me years to even begin to understand that. I pray for each of you today who are living a life of bondage and pray that we all find and KEEP sobriety.
Best,
Clean
I know that this topic is two years old and I'm sorry to bring it back to the top being so dated. I only wanted to add want can only be called a post script to the subject.
I was a part of this thread for many weeks during one of many attempts at recovery. It was a joyful time, inspirational, transcendent even. Odd that I over-looked what was really the most important post for me...."Make sure you get into aftercare, it's really important!...."
I blew right past that advice as I suppose many of my friends did as well. I saw a psych dr. for about six months and thought that I was cured. I began to use again, though not anything like before. I few days on, a few days off. But still, I'm not in any pain, I would take them for fun....but it's not really fun....the first time was fun....that was the last time it was fun. I am clean again, but attending a local AA meeting (same story, different drug) almost daily. I would encourage those who are considering kicking the habit or are in the withdrawal phase of coming clean to read through some of the journey above, as it was indeed inspirational to many.
But be warned that you will never be cured, you cannot succeed on your own and you will need on-going support. It took me years to even begin to understand that. I pray for each of you today who are living a life of bondage and pray that we all find and KEEP sobriety.
Best,
Clean
Where are all my friends? Ready, Lee Ann, Mr Clean. Shine??
Things are getting better by the day. Someone should have told us what we missed by going down this dark path. The small things make life worth living...and they are all coming back.
Hope all is well...Free
Things are getting better by the day. Someone should have told us what we missed by going down this dark path. The small things make life worth living...and they are all coming back.
Hope all is well...Free
Wow..so good to hear from you and glad that everything is going ok.The playground has been a little empty lately,but most people are hanging in and progressing well.It is an up and down journey....but so is life up and down..The lack of guilt is probably the best thing and also the clear head.Keep fighting yourself and we will as well.Happy new year to all.
Hello everyone...it Free checking in. Things could not be better. I spent Christmas week, sober, for the first time in 20 years. It was tough but SOOOO worth it. I am now back in Chicago and can say I am almost back to normal. Laughing, cracking jokes, being motivated, inspired, active etc. It has been a long road and I messed up a few times but am glad the fight is getting easier. I sleep fine now, have a good amount of natural energy and a general sense of happiness that has been missing for well over 2 years. Things that were lost are coming back...thank God.
Even though this was a lean Christmas by my standards, my family is truly blessed...and this was with husband and Dad functioning at 25% over the past 18 months. I can't wait to see what happens when I am clicking at 100%.
I hope this finds everyone doing well. My only Holiday wish for all you Dear Friends is that you continue to find the strength to fight like hell. For me, the Physical w/d's ended up being easy compared to the mental mind scramble these devils put you through. It is SO hard to feel soul-less day after day. But it will end and you will get your life back.
Keep fighting my friends...see you on the Play Ground....
~ Tag, You're It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though this was a lean Christmas by my standards, my family is truly blessed...and this was with husband and Dad functioning at 25% over the past 18 months. I can't wait to see what happens when I am clicking at 100%.
I hope this finds everyone doing well. My only Holiday wish for all you Dear Friends is that you continue to find the strength to fight like hell. For me, the Physical w/d's ended up being easy compared to the mental mind scramble these devils put you through. It is SO hard to feel soul-less day after day. But it will end and you will get your life back.
Keep fighting my friends...see you on the Play Ground....
~ Tag, You're It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How's everyone doing.I have not seen many posts from you guys.I hope no news is good news and you are all getting thru the holidays clean.It was fun reading your posts so full of spirit and positive energy.
And yes, you CAN do this! I know exactly how you feel. I was on them for a year, my best friend, worst enemy- the secret I kept that made me feel so ashamed. But it is actually amazing the way your mind and body can heal. You are in there, give yourself the time and chance to do this with the right support- I promise you- YOU CAN BEAT THIS.
Lots of love. Keep posting.
Lots of love. Keep posting.
Is anybody out there? Today I have 16 days, I can't believe it. I would love to hear from you guys, how is everybody doing? Hope you are all having a great holiday! :o)
I came across this forum while searching hydrocodone withdrawal, and I think the support here is soooo amazing. I'm quitting Friday, the 18th. Have everything planned out, but I'm soooooo scared. I've never been this scared in my entire life. I've been on them 2 years, with the last 4 months or so having progressed to about 100-120mg of 10/325 daily. Can anyone give me any advice? Sometimes I don't think I can fight this battle. I want to quit terribly...I feel like I'm fighting for my life. They've become my best friend, and my worst enemy. Very few people know....my family has no idea. I feel like I've lost myself-my complete soul-in those little yellow pills.
Thanksgiving went great and ny wife was tickled pink. HOWEVER a cousin who knew of y car wreck asked how things were going and I said well I just deal with occasional soreness. He reached out and dropped 5 norco's. I just stood there dumbfounded.
YEA I TOOK THEM and got through Thanksgiving and I am here to tell you I quit on
Tuesday da 1st( yea I took the last one Monday when I couls have flushed)
I'm no chemist but I'm thinking 5 pills = 5 days of feeling like crap
I'ts a formula
NA, I m getting over it and deeply regret And vow as a member of tha peeps to sail
CLEAN from here on out.
Another thing I realized was it JUST WASN"T FUN ANYMORE compared to the clear
clean Life I had started
If someone Offers you a few JUST SAY NO or you will be back in the tunnell looking for the light
My HUMBLE apoligies to the group but feeling pretty good today and think by weekend
the OLD TEESHOT will be back in full force
YEA I TOOK THEM and got through Thanksgiving and I am here to tell you I quit on
Tuesday da 1st( yea I took the last one Monday when I couls have flushed)
I'm no chemist but I'm thinking 5 pills = 5 days of feeling like crap
I'ts a formula
NA, I m getting over it and deeply regret And vow as a member of tha peeps to sail
CLEAN from here on out.
Another thing I realized was it JUST WASN"T FUN ANYMORE compared to the clear
clean Life I had started
If someone Offers you a few JUST SAY NO or you will be back in the tunnell looking for the light
My HUMBLE apoligies to the group but feeling pretty good today and think by weekend
the OLD TEESHOT will be back in full force
It's so good to see your posts Mr. Clean and Freedom. I'm glad you two are staying clean. I, too, am still clean. Monday will be 4 weeks for me, and the 9th will be 30 days. I guess I need to research a little on our ability to produce dopamine w/o pills again. I think, don't quote me by any means, that there was something in the Thomas recipe that helped us produce dopamine (l-tyrosine). I'm still taking it w/ B6 every day. I'm not sure if it's helping me, or if it's a placebo effect, cause I was used to having good sensations after taking the Vico's. I know there is a list of foods up in the right hand corner, that supposedly help produce dopamine. I know Wellbutrin (<-spelling?) supposedly helps produces it as well.
Guess what yall. I went to my cvs account online to have my ambien refilled and guess what i saw....omg...i still have a refill left on my hydrocodone. OH MY GOD! It drove me crazy for about the first couple of hours. Then I started to think about all I have come through to get to where I am, and I don't want to do that again....!!!! So, it's still sitting there at the pharmacy. I've went through a million scenarios of why i need them...lol. But, I'm NOT going to get them so don't worry.
If any of you guys figure out when we are supposed to be back to normal, as far as the brain chemistry stuff is concerned, please share.
Where is Ready? Don't make me come to GA...lol!
Love yall!!! <3
Guess what yall. I went to my cvs account online to have my ambien refilled and guess what i saw....omg...i still have a refill left on my hydrocodone. OH MY GOD! It drove me crazy for about the first couple of hours. Then I started to think about all I have come through to get to where I am, and I don't want to do that again....!!!! So, it's still sitting there at the pharmacy. I've went through a million scenarios of why i need them...lol. But, I'm NOT going to get them so don't worry.
If any of you guys figure out when we are supposed to be back to normal, as far as the brain chemistry stuff is concerned, please share.
Where is Ready? Don't make me come to GA...lol!
Love yall!!! <3
Congrats man you sound like your really happy =)
reading your last posts makes me stronger and want to be clean even more. Good motivation boost. And i hope you and your family has a great christmas!
reading your last posts makes me stronger and want to be clean even more. Good motivation boost. And i hope you and your family has a great christmas!
Hey all...just wanted to make sure that this Post stays current.
I went christmas shopping today...and had money to do it!! What a friggin treat...I loved every second of it. I am so looking forward to seeing my kids faces as they open up their gifts. I of course, have already given them, and myself, the best gift that I could have this year. A sober Dad!!
I hope this finds everyone doing well...drop a line and keep inspiring!!
Love and best to all!!
Free
I went christmas shopping today...and had money to do it!! What a friggin treat...I loved every second of it. I am so looking forward to seeing my kids faces as they open up their gifts. I of course, have already given them, and myself, the best gift that I could have this year. A sober Dad!!
I hope this finds everyone doing well...drop a line and keep inspiring!!
Love and best to all!!
Free
Hey Free....good call on the vitamins et al. I went out and spent $60 on stuff from the Thomas recipe....took all the recommended doses for 2 days during detox. I couldn't tell a difference so I abandoned them. I have a multi-vitamin sitting on my sink to remind me to take them, but somehow I overlook those too.
After reading LeighAnn's comment about producing brain chemicals naturally, I wonder if there are supplements that we should be taking to encourage that re-birth? I don't mind taking something (clearly!), but I'm not interested in taking it unnecessarily. That is, will the body heal itself and I just need to be patient, continue working out and allow normal processes to transpire over a period of time? Conversely, could a supplement shorten the healing process? I welcome any thoughts...
It feels good to say "day 22".....no depression today...in many long meetings for work....anyone notice how you can pay attention for long periods of time now without zoning out? I had the most boring 4 hour meeting today, but was able to stay alert and actually participate beyond the first half hour....
While we and so many others have referred to "getting our life back", you can't comprehend all of the things that you are missing, you just know that it isn't the same...when you are sober, so many little things come back to you...one at a time, over time.....it's like it's not all revealed at once, but each day there is something different but yet somehow familiar to you. I always see people walking their dogs in my neighborhood and I used to think, "why would anyone waste time doing that?"....now I think, "what a great way to get out and experience the cool winter air!"...am I making any sense to you? CAN I GET A WITNESS?!?!?! hahahahaha....
Best to my friends.....(hey Ready....how you doin? great to hear from you!)
Clean
After reading LeighAnn's comment about producing brain chemicals naturally, I wonder if there are supplements that we should be taking to encourage that re-birth? I don't mind taking something (clearly!), but I'm not interested in taking it unnecessarily. That is, will the body heal itself and I just need to be patient, continue working out and allow normal processes to transpire over a period of time? Conversely, could a supplement shorten the healing process? I welcome any thoughts...
It feels good to say "day 22".....no depression today...in many long meetings for work....anyone notice how you can pay attention for long periods of time now without zoning out? I had the most boring 4 hour meeting today, but was able to stay alert and actually participate beyond the first half hour....
While we and so many others have referred to "getting our life back", you can't comprehend all of the things that you are missing, you just know that it isn't the same...when you are sober, so many little things come back to you...one at a time, over time.....it's like it's not all revealed at once, but each day there is something different but yet somehow familiar to you. I always see people walking their dogs in my neighborhood and I used to think, "why would anyone waste time doing that?"....now I think, "what a great way to get out and experience the cool winter air!"...am I making any sense to you? CAN I GET A WITNESS?!?!?! hahahahaha....
Best to my friends.....(hey Ready....how you doin? great to hear from you!)
Clean
oh yeah...and a little advice...the recommendations for vitamins and minerals and amino acids are very hard to manage. I have found that a Protein shake from GNC works wonders and contains all the suggested stuff. Thought i'd pass is along.
Well, Mr Clean...you have walked right into my Wheel House. Anxiety and Depression is the reason that I starting taking these pills in the first place. My wife always asks me..."what do they make you feel that is so special." My response is simple...it's what they DON'T make me feel that is what makes them so addictive...for me. But as we all know...that eventually leads to no feelings at all...not good.
Feelings...even bad ones are good. It's just normal life. The best part about being clean is that you can fight them and overcome them and feel great in winning the battle. I think we are all realizing that although the week of detox was hell...it is but a small part of the battle. The hardest part will come when we feel great and need to make the right decisions.
Things are good here...going through the ups and downs of life. T-Giving was amazing...as it always is!! Looking forward to Christmas...and actually having money to spoil my kids instead of trying to find excuses to tell my wife of why we have no money.
Stay strong my friends...we will win this together...
Feelings...even bad ones are good. It's just normal life. The best part about being clean is that you can fight them and overcome them and feel great in winning the battle. I think we are all realizing that although the week of detox was hell...it is but a small part of the battle. The hardest part will come when we feel great and need to make the right decisions.
Things are good here...going through the ups and downs of life. T-Giving was amazing...as it always is!! Looking forward to Christmas...and actually having money to spoil my kids instead of trying to find excuses to tell my wife of why we have no money.
Stay strong my friends...we will win this together...
I am so with you Clean. I know exactly what you are talking about. Now that I'm clean, it's like I'm having to relearn to live. I mostly have cravings when I'm bored or tired (no energy). I, too, often think, well...now maybe I could handle it and just use the pills for when I need them, and I wouldn't let myself get back to where I depended on them all the time...but I know it's all a lie.
That's why I keep coming to this board. It helps me to know that I am not alone in having these crazy feelings. I wonder how long it takes for our brain to produce a normal amount of dopamine on it's on. I'm sure it will be a while. I'm trying to stay true to myself, and am not expecting myself to be 100% until at least 6 months clean.
Keep in touch! Stay strong!
3 weeks and 1 day clean
That's why I keep coming to this board. It helps me to know that I am not alone in having these crazy feelings. I wonder how long it takes for our brain to produce a normal amount of dopamine on it's on. I'm sure it will be a while. I'm trying to stay true to myself, and am not expecting myself to be 100% until at least 6 months clean.
Keep in touch! Stay strong!
3 weeks and 1 day clean
my god Clean that was soooo perfectly said!!! We all go thru those feelings! It isnt easy but staying STRONG is so rewarding! I too have had such dreams but then I look at my kids and realize how important it is what I did and to come this far. NO WAY I am gonna throw it all away for a 15 minute buzz. NO WAY!!!!!
And the next day is ALWAYS better :)
Keep posting! Love ya man!
Ready!
And the next day is ALWAYS better :)
Keep posting! Love ya man!
Ready!
Hi all!
Hope that everyone had a pleasant holiday! Mine was okay (don't care for the inlaws much), but was a fun weekend for the most part...boy did it go by fast! It is difficult for me to post on weekends, so I hope that you all understand.
Today is day 21 for me....3 weeks! It was weird that on days 3-5, I didn't think I would ever use again....day 10 or so, I didn't "feel" like using, but my mind started to tell me that maybe I would be okay now. I could handle just a little bit.....right? Truth is, I can't...none of us can. The urge went away, and I haven't had a strong urge since. That said, I remember many times dreaming of scoring pills while I was using. That all went away the day I quit. The last two nights however, I have had those same dreams...scoring...weird huh?
A word of encouragement......the best that I feel is usually after a workout, walk or some sort of physical activity. I have had bouts of depression the last 2 weeks....some days I don't feel real happy (guess that is PAWS?). This really surprised me, I have never felt like this before. Maybe it is partly because most of my emotions have been masked for so long...not sure.
I know that I have said this many times, but it bears repeating....I didn't think I could do this....it seemed too difficult. Even some days now feel difficult, but when I think about myself then vs. now, there is no comparison. Life isn't always about springing out of bed each morning with a huge smile, but it is about being able to look in the mirror as you brush your teeth and be happy with who you see. For me, there has been nothing so rewarding as looking in the mirror...I don't mean from a vanity perspective....but really looking into your own eyes...your soul....realizing that what you have been through was real, is part of who you are, but your past doesn't have to dictate your future.....
best....
Clean
Hope that everyone had a pleasant holiday! Mine was okay (don't care for the inlaws much), but was a fun weekend for the most part...boy did it go by fast! It is difficult for me to post on weekends, so I hope that you all understand.
Today is day 21 for me....3 weeks! It was weird that on days 3-5, I didn't think I would ever use again....day 10 or so, I didn't "feel" like using, but my mind started to tell me that maybe I would be okay now. I could handle just a little bit.....right? Truth is, I can't...none of us can. The urge went away, and I haven't had a strong urge since. That said, I remember many times dreaming of scoring pills while I was using. That all went away the day I quit. The last two nights however, I have had those same dreams...scoring...weird huh?
A word of encouragement......the best that I feel is usually after a workout, walk or some sort of physical activity. I have had bouts of depression the last 2 weeks....some days I don't feel real happy (guess that is PAWS?). This really surprised me, I have never felt like this before. Maybe it is partly because most of my emotions have been masked for so long...not sure.
I know that I have said this many times, but it bears repeating....I didn't think I could do this....it seemed too difficult. Even some days now feel difficult, but when I think about myself then vs. now, there is no comparison. Life isn't always about springing out of bed each morning with a huge smile, but it is about being able to look in the mirror as you brush your teeth and be happy with who you see. For me, there has been nothing so rewarding as looking in the mirror...I don't mean from a vanity perspective....but really looking into your own eyes...your soul....realizing that what you have been through was real, is part of who you are, but your past doesn't have to dictate your future.....
best....
Clean
Hey everyone! Sorry its been a while snce I checked in! Was out of town for T Giving and have band rehearsal today for an Xmas gig we just booked :)
Wanted to let everyone know I will be checking in more often now the crazy holidays are over and need an update from all my dear friends! I hope everyone is still living the REAL LIFE! Check in with your friend Ready! SOOO great to hear from LeighAnn too! WWOWO thats my GIRL! So lets all take a couple minutes and let me know how you are doing in the club :) Love u guys!!!
Sunshinegal we WILL BE HERE FOR YOU!!!!
Will be back soon after band practice :) Music is going to sound so different now I am playing it "clean"...gonna be COOL! :)
MUCH LOVE!!!!!
Ready!
Wanted to let everyone know I will be checking in more often now the crazy holidays are over and need an update from all my dear friends! I hope everyone is still living the REAL LIFE! Check in with your friend Ready! SOOO great to hear from LeighAnn too! WWOWO thats my GIRL! So lets all take a couple minutes and let me know how you are doing in the club :) Love u guys!!!
Sunshinegal we WILL BE HERE FOR YOU!!!!
Will be back soon after band practice :) Music is going to sound so different now I am playing it "clean"...gonna be COOL! :)
MUCH LOVE!!!!!
Ready!
Hi guys!!! Hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! Great to hear from those who haven't posted in a while :) So, I have chosen my quit date: Dec 9th. Gonna be home for a week then so I can just take care of myself, and by that time I will have all my business taken care of so I won't be stressing on that. To be honest it's going to be difficult not to just freely "enjoy" until then. I have gone back up, WAS down to 1/day. I know I have to taper.. I taper down only to go back up everytime!! That has been my pattern. Mainly, I have so much more motivation with the pills -- that is by far my biggest scare. I just lay around waiting for the sky to fall only too often when I have cut down. My BF knows and is not happy with my current state so he is a big motivator to quit now, and I am going back to some hardcore college classes in January so gotta have my head screwed on straight!! :o) I have to say that I know I am a tough cookie and I can do it. These evil pills are tough too, so we gotta be tougher!! So I will taper as much as I can and then jump dammit! I am telling you all for accountability. I am scared and like a kid "don't wannnnnna" - but this is life and it's time to grow up!!
Thank you Freedom, and Clean for your kind words and inspiration. Can't thank you enough. Great to hear you are staying strong Leigh Ann. Look forward to hearing from you guys soon :) And thank you so much for keeping this thread going!! Love to you all!
I am an recovering drug "Addict" the drug of choice Roxy's. Im a 23 year old mother of two and a wife, and the only thing i had ever done befor was smoke pot, "whice i hadnt dont in years". But 6 months ago, i was introduced to Roxys. It was offered and i did it, i snorted it up my nose. I had never done anything up my nose. But it felt so good "The High", its amazing...FOR A WHILE..but it starts taking over..slowly. I thought i had the control and i could stop at anytime, but it had control over me, i couldnt think of anything else but getting money to buy drugs..its sad. But i was lucky My husband saw that i needed help..and he plained an intervention. and i went to a rehab. needless to say Im clean 28 days today, and it was really hard the first 2 weeks, but its getting easyer every day. Im not better, ill always think about it, and at time's i really want it, but i no i cant lose myself again to the addict inside. I hope God blesses me enough to stay clean. Im proud of myself so far but it is a day to day struggle. I hope i have helped someone, out there.
it to are coming off oxy80mg 2 to 3 a day 2night is my first night of withdrawl im doin okay can i went and got some xanax to help me get through i know your not suppose to substitute one drug 4 another but it wuill help with the w/d
I'm still here. I hope everyone is just eating turkey and left overs. I'm still clean!!! Can't say I haven't been tempted, but I can say I resisted every temptation.
I hope everyone checks in soon.
Keep up the good clean life Tee and Freedom! <3
I hope everyone checks in soon.
Keep up the good clean life Tee and Freedom! <3
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