had a relapse

[davidr714]

hello been gone from site for a while sorry to report i been drinking again. i not giving up though. i am want feel so deepprsed. i want the pain to be over i am such loser. i am no good. i cant stop drinking
david R

[kim715]

Hey David,congrats on dumping the vodka.You and I have talked before and everyone above told you everything that you need to hear.Just letting you know I'm here for you.Peace...Kim

[davidr714]

thanks i dumped the vodka out unfortalty i drank some more befoere if dumped it out. thanks i know i am powerlees, thanks for the respones. anyway my life is so out of control. i say that but the funny thing is to the outsider my life looks like its geting under control i have a job and things are geitting better. i mean that my life looks like its under control but i feel so bad. thing is that perception is not realty,

[freebird227]

As a point of reference people without a drinking problem don"t usually end up at aa. Pour the booze out like gizzy said and get yourself to a meeting Grab someone after the meeting and try to get a phone # And remember the winners keep comming back.And keep talking.There is a saying in aa that I'm sure you hane heard  You cant save your face and your but at the same time Best wishes

[gizzy32]

Hi again! I just looked back on some of your posts and see you had considerable clean time a few times and that you found it hard attending AA cause of opening up and anxiety. You also wondered if your an alcoholic but were not sure. From the posts i read you had said you drank a few times till you blacked out and started right up again. You also said you have had control at times. My friend we are never in control, but that's what this disease does, it tricks us to think we are. One drink is one too many for you as one line is too many for me. Accepting we are powerless is a big step and one that needs to be taken.  Please keep posting and figure out other ways to get help. Good luck

[gizzy32]

David, let me ask you this? What will it take for you to stop drinking? A pity party and being drunk off your as s like this will not get you better. I hated my life too and getting clean was tough, but going through life with a clear head is a life. There is help out there david. What are you willing to do for your recovery? Cmon man, you can do this, but not alone. Stick around at talk to us, get rid of the sauce, that's the only way to start

[davidr714]

hi i been to aa for last 5 years. any way i had only  week sober before that i had like a 3 weeks. my psycoligist thought i had ocd istead of alcholsism well he said that he didnt know if it was ocd of alcosim so thought mabay i could have just one drink. anyway i want be sober i been drinking today a bout 21 onces of vodka. same on friday. i hate my life. i want someting better. i m drunk im ashamed of being drunk please. ekeuses my spleing,

david R

[wannabefree330]

as gizzy said, you are NOT a loser.  You are an addict.  whether your DOC is alcohol or something else, it is all the same my friend.....and we have all been where you are right now.  Don't assume AA is for old, homeless people.  It is not the joke that society portrays it to be.  It has saved my a$$ many times.  When there's no place to go but up, reach out to a helping hand and hold on.  Get to a meeting and listen to what worked for others.  There are sooooo many people who have been where you are, or worse and have picked themselves up and WANT to live now.  You can't do it alone, but you can do it with the help of others and a power that is greater than yourself.  If you believe in God, ask for his help.....if you believe in another being greater than you, ask that one.  You have taken the first step, admitting you have a problem and your life is hopeless.  We are here 24/7 to listen.

[gizzy32]

How long have you been drinking again? You are not a loser, but you made a poor choice. Most of us here have relapsed and it's so painful. We beat ourselves up the most, but if we don't do something about it, then that guilt continues and we fall even further down. What caused you to start back up? We are here to listen. I am not sure what your drinking at the moment, but it's time to stop and get better. Have you ever been to AA? Don't know your story, just trying to find out.