I'm not doing very well

[dendster]

In short,,,,I suffer from frequent migraine headaches. I've tried 18 different modalities.  My doc decided there was nothing more that he could do for me other then "pain management". He put me on on both Percocet and norco 10/325's each. I used a mail order prescription service that always made sure I was up to date with my meds and when I was low and would contact my doc for a new script....in other words, drugs were plentiful. After 2 years of this, the drugs became less and less affective. (Note: my doc would write a sript for a 3 month supply and the pharmacy would always count it as a 1 month supply...in other words, I was getting 180 percs a month and 270 norcos a month....every month). I got to a place where I was taking so many drugs I would run out by months end with the amount I was getting. Oh the guilt!!! Finally the doctor got in trouble for the amount I was getting. Yeah, duh! So....he hasn't cut me off but we both agreed I needed to get OFF the drugs (I still don't think he has realized just how many pills I was taking) SO his plan for me is to take 1 percocet 3 x daily. I'm at day 6 and am struggling big time!! I have been in bed all week long so my husband would think I was down the flu. I can't say I've even been good with "the plan" as I've been savoring my alloted "3 a day" and taking them all at once seeking a glimmer of that feel good experience....and while I'm being honest, I'm also dipping into my husbands vicodine and chasing it with a tall white russian, I will not go to a treatment center for very personal reasons but I sure do need some support!!!! I woke up feeling pretty well today (so far) so my plan is to get on board with the plan of taking only 1 pill 3 x this day AND NOTHING ELSE. I'm so desperate to be clean...I have been for moths!! How my liver has held up through all of this is beyond me. I'm horrified to think of what my life has been. IS there any hope for me??

[flob]

in all my experience with migraines and all that i've read related to chronic migraines...more often than not, opiates do more damage than good. it's truely a shame that migraine pain is often put in the same class as other types of pain...because it isn't. i can't say the pain itself is any more severe than any other kind of pain. i can't possibly know that. but it certainly is chronic, and it's source is generally one that opiates simply can't treat. as an example...i've had a full blown migraine with all the classic symptoms...nausea, pain so extreme i cant move, extreme sensitivity to light...etc....nothing will touch it. but about 40 to 50% of the time, if this migraine carries into the night and i take my nightly dose of imipramine and zoloft....it will literally end the migraine. this effect has never been explained to me. one thing i do know is that 50% accuracy is MILES better than other meds used to treat migraine pain...but in addition, if you were to take imipramine for the pain of a broken leg, you would have 0% efficiancy. i suppose the effect i experience is similar to that of the triptans...but since i'm not a doctor i'm not entirely sure if the method of action is the same or not.

anyway...what i'm getting at is that we've only just recently started seeing medicine turn away from opiates and barbiturates as treatments for migraines...and it's unfortunate that it's taken so long to do so. i guess it's just easier to write an RX for fiorinal with codeine or demerol or whatever than to try to figure out the actual source of the problem. but i saw that surgery is something that may help you but you haven't done it because of your addiction. you shouldn't let that stop you. chronic unmanageable pain is far worse than recovering from addiction....especially when all the meds stop working to relieve it...which they always do when it comes to migraines.

as one person mentioned...opiates do cause rebound migraines, as do barbiturates...and it's even been suggested that the triptans do too with over use. the best treatment seems to be prevention and knowing triggers...which doesn't cure migraines, but certainly does help to better manage them.

anyway, best of luck to you.

[dendster]

"These forums are a great deal of help". I agree!!!! I was doing so well today and now I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin so I came back here so I wasn't feeling so alone. My husband is happily watching football while I suffer in silence. Now to get through the next hour. I'm so cold, no wait, I'm hot, no cold....argh. This is aweful!!! Off to cry into my pillow

[melrose09]

Oh i know exactly what you mean about the littlest things seeming like a huge accomplishment. It looked like a tornado had hit my house but i found a little bit of energy to clean it up a bit. That actually felt really good just to be able to do that. I was beating myself up for a while over the three pills but then i figured it wasn't doing me any good so im just trying to be proud that i got back up and am trying again. My family also doesn't "know" about my addiction. I think they do but its easier to ignore it than to face it so i kinda feel like im doing this alone. These forums are a great deal of help and its nice to talk to people like yourself who are going through the same thing. Even though it *****, its nice to know we're not alone.

[dendster]

Migraines 6 days a week!!!!  And RA too! Bless your heart!
I get them on average 2-3 times a week....the onset began 31/2 years ago. They've pretty much ruined my life too. In fact, I've had to quit my job and go on disability. Oh how I miss working! (Ha...I never thought I'd say that!) Interesting though....since I stopped the loads of pain meds 6 days ago....I've only have one migraine, but boy was it tough without the drugs. It was a real test of my endurance. I had to talk to myself all day not to goggle down my limited stock of percocet.

[abigailfing]

i have been taking co codamol for years and years   over 20 in fact    and i always end up taking at least 8 daily   i have rheumatoid arthritis and tell myself its okay but it isnt  !!!  i have the worst migraines in the world and am ill with them 6 days out of 7    had them since i was 4  but since menopause much much worse   my whole life has been ruined by them.......i am sure that stopping the pills will help   i hear that codeine dependency headaches are common...................2 days with no codeine has made my head worse than ever and my stomach is horrendous  !!!!   going to press on !!!!

[dendster]

Well....I do actually have a diagnosis "myofascial pain disorder" resulting from TMJ, likely causing the.Chronic and Severe Migraines"...along with the joys of menopause, all migraine producers. I have had an MRI which turned up nothing.  I probably (surely) need surgery to correct the MPD but haven't sought it out due to my drug addiction. I guess I need to get clean then seek the treatment but then again...what do I do about the pain of surgery?

[dendster]

Your comments are more encouraging and appreciated than you can know. I really do want to quit....to have my life back. It sounds like you do too!!! Good for both of us!! I hope you're not beating yourself up for taking the 3 pills, the good news it that you're hanging in there.
I've talked briefly to my husband about my addiction but I think he denies that I have a problem to the extent that it is. He hasn't even said anything about his missing vidodine.....he has to notice. I'm pretty bull headed when it comes to making a desicion so I probably don't need anyone to hang on to my meds for me....beside, my doc warned if I took more then the alloted 3 a day I'd be on my own. That threat works for me. Thanks for being here for me. I'm having the best day that I've had in nearly a week....I'm 4 hours into my day and so far am not experiencing and WD anxiety and just took the 1st of my 3 a day pills. I even took a shower and am picking up around my house a little....that's sound like such a small feat but it is huge for me.

[mack2000]

I always worry about giving medication without full diagnosis.   I am no doctor, but I hear about this a lot and the folks have not even had an MRI to determine the cause of the headache.  This is a complicated organ, yet MRI can tell some things.    Even the genetics tests they do without our knowledge can provide insight to them.  If I had the time and money I wish I could become a doctor just to get answers.  I wish you all the best and an understanding for your headaches.

[melrose09]

well you're headed in the right direction in my opinion. you have to want to quit before it will be possible and from your post it sounds like thats exactly what you want to do. I to am struggling with the withdrawals. This would have been day six for me but i was weak thursday and took three pills. So now im back on day two again but im still hanging in there. I think that as long as you want to quit and you are trying you are headed in the right direction. There is definetely hope for you. Theres hope for anyone who WANTS to quit. Does your husband know about your addiction? if he does maybe you could give him your pills to hang onto and have him give you one three times a day that way you can be sure you're doing it the way your doctor wants you to do it. I know if i have pills in my hand they're going in my mouth. It takes more strength than i have to be able to taper. Not sure if its the same for you but if it is help from another person is great. Hang in there. It will get better and im here for support if you need it.