I NEED ADVICE~IMPATIENT REHAB

[Madisonjsmom]

My family is taking me tomorrow.  I am scared.  I dont want to be away from my daughter!  Give me honest advie please.

[luppygirl]

Well I don't think she has anything to be embarrassed about.  You have to be ready and if you aren't it just work.  I really wish she would still come on here and post.  Maybe with the support of people on here it will help her continue not to take anything.  Rehab would have helped alot but i guess it just wasn't the right time.   I wish she didn't feel like she let people down.  This is not about us it is about her and her recovery we can't make her do anything we are just here to support whatever choices she makes and be her cheerleaders on her road to recovery.  I think since she didn't go to rehab she needs to post on this site more then ever.  There are so many people here that would be able help her.  Anyways I wish her the best and I would love to see her post here again soon

[avisg]

We are a forum full of addicts she has nothing to be embarrassed about we have all been there .Hopfully with time she will realize that and come back . I will say a prayer

[cathy5841]

update:  i have heard from MJM and after much struggling she decided she could not go to rehab because she oculd not leave her little one.  she is clean and she is going to a counselor.  i did not ask her if she was going to meetings but i hope she is.  she said she did not feel like she could come back on MH, because she is embarrassed and feels  like she let everyone down.  i told her thats not so she only let herself down...she is lurking and reading the post.  please keep her in your prayers and hopefully she will change her mind.

[luppygirl]

I really hope she did go. and i hope it goes good for her

[avisg]

Has anyone heard anything from her? Do they know if she went . I hope everything is OK

[luppygirl]

I am guessing that today is your day to go to rehab, just wanted to wish you all the best.

[avisg]

luppy good post  you are not pathetic ,pathetic would be continuing to use knowing all of the damage you are doing to yourself and not caring enough about you to get better but that not what you are doing .you stopped using and have come clean now all you have to do is finish what you started and go into treatment

[luppygirl]

You have to stop hating yourself.  That doesn't help anything or anybody at all.  You are not pathetic.  Someone who is pathetic would not be going for help right now.  They wouldn't be worried about there child, they would out there right now trying to score.  You are putting your little girl to bed and then you are going to get help that does not sound like a pathetic person to me. That is someone who is going to learn to love herself all over again because she deserves to love herself.  The past is the past you have to leave it there because the past will interfere with what you are trying to accomplish now and that is having a wonderful future for you, for your husband and for your little girl.  So please don't hate yourself, we have all done things in our lives that we wish we never had but we can't change it or have a do over we just have to learn from it.  How can someone hate someone who has learned from there mistakes and are taking the right steps to fix the mistakes made.  Personally I couldn't hate someone like that I would have to respect them.  So you shouldn't hate yourself for being human and doing what people from all walks of life have been doing for millions of years and that is making mistakes.  Love yourself for trying to get better.  Love yourself for loving your daughter enough to get help.  Love yourself for loving your husband and the rest of your family enough to get help.  Loving yourself will get you through this and come out the other side shining and happy.

[avisg]

What you are doing Is getting help for the you and that in turn will help her .If she sees you being calm and cool she will be too !!!! She is going to go off of your reactions.Its going to be fine you are going to get the help you need make sure to be honest with the rehab and tell them how much everything you have been taking how much of it and for how long one of the steps of healing is going to be getting honest with yourself and others good luck you can do this.

[Madisonjsmom]

This is so hard...As I put my daughter to bed she was crying and asking me evey question the sun.  My dad and husband tell me not to worry that she will be taken care of.  That is not what I am worried about...As i was laying with her tonight I was thinking to myself how she must feel in her little mind, she has to be so worried.  I hate myself for ever picking up a pill and being an addict,... I hate myself!!! For having to do this to her.  I am pethetic!

[luppygirl]

I understand how scary all this is but do you know how proud your daughter is going to be of her mother.  I don't know how old she is but she will know that you did it because you loved her so much and you want the best for her.  What daughter wouldn't be proud of that

[kimbraveheart]

You have to go, dont talk yourself out of it. You MUST go, You can tell your little girl that you have to get your stomach sorted or tell her you need to get some business sorted out. Tell her its not for long and youll be back soon. I know itll be hard but try not to get to upset when you go or she might worry, just make it look as if its just something you have to do. You really need to do this, you know deep down you have to. I have a better relationship with my kids already even though theyr older. I promise you that you will notice a difference. Im gonna try and google the place your going but im not that good but ill try and find it. I hope theyv got computers there so we know how your getting on. Let us know how you are before you go. I wish you all the luck in the world.

[LIZZIE LOU]

the greatest gift you can give your daughter is YOU...clean and sober :)

[gizzy32]

This will be doing the best thing not only for you but your entire family. It's for 14 days? That is not very long, but you will learn so much about yourself during that time. This is surrendering and I know you will come out with a clearer head and a different outlook. I am proud of you for doing this and want to wish you luck. You got all kinds of good advice here so hold your head high and I can't ***** and you no more, lol. This is the start of something special. Hugs.

[avisg]

YES you need to go !!!! It will be a positive thing your daughter will be fine you have a good support system .She will be ok .She will miss you ,you will miss her but you  will make it threw.I think if you do outpatient there will still be the opinion to use getting you in a faculty for a few weeks where you can have extensive treatment for a while it will give you better footing when you get out had are exposed to drugs again

[vikkimom]

Be sure and let your child know that it is not her fault (or any other family member) that you are leaving for a little while, and that you have a spiritual dis-ease there is a clear and effective treatment for. Or that you have some important biz to take care of and that it has nothing to do with her!! and that you will return!!!!      
The decision between outpatient and inpatient can be the different your success. If you have the opportunity to go to an inpatient treatment program and you have been assessed at that level by all means take the gift of recovery.
You might consider you and your child close while your under the influence but once your clean and sober your relationship will reach an entirely different level of closeness. One that is based in healthy spiritual contact. You are not yourself when your under the influence of substances and you are hindering your child's development through interactions with you when your under the influence. A sober mother is a gift and blessing for the child.

[stilltrying1965]

You go for it girl you have tried everything else this must be worth a shot and yeh of course we will stay by your side .You can tell your 7year old daughter that your going to get your stomach problem sorted out I know you will miss her but in the long run its the best thing for you & your daughter we will pray for you & sending you love & strenthg good luck my friend James & Kim

[laurel453]

look at this the other way.

what kind of woman do you want your daughter to be ? she is not going to be a perfect one cause none of us is perfect. she gonna have problems to solve in life, she gonna fail sometimes as each other woman in this world but oh, madisonjsmom, if she stands up whenever she has a problem, held her head high and try to solve  it whatever the obstacle or the problem  with whatever the means needed, she is going to be a woman with no fear of living :)

and your are the person who has to teach her this way of being in life . what better way than showing to her this not only with words but with your acts ?

have no more fears. Because  at this time and at this space in your life, you are doing the best  to solve a problem: taking this bloody bull by the horns and showing you are the one controlling your life and this includes the problems you are having now.

don't think you are not doing the best for her, just the opposite. you are showing her the way to live life: without fear of ourselves so don't worry about what you gonna tell her, please, care about the good you gonna teach her and for her future with this decision.

good luck :)

[troubleinohio]

you asked "what about my daughter"? "what do i tell my daughter"?.....think of THIS WAY instead..........what would your family have to tell your daughter if they find you dead someday of an overdose, or if you die of liver failure?  Know what i mean?  You are doing the best possible thing by going inpatient. Most people here didnt or don't have that opportunity available. But you are one of the lucky ones who CAN go, so please dont talk yourself out of it. Wishing you all the best...

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Tell your daughter the truth. You are sick and are being treated so you may be 100% well again. It will ultimately be to everyones advantage ........  it will be good to have you back in life and the world again.... just the way you are!!  Best of luck - - if they have computers, PM me - - - - all the best ......eagle

[vinnysmommy]

The inpatient is a good idea and then go with an outpatient program.  I fought tooth and nail about going to inpatient but it did turn out to be one of the best things that I could do for myself, and my family.  Yes, I do think you may be trying to talk yourself out of it. It is very scary to think about being away from your family.  You have to think of it like this:  a little bit of time away to help get yourself reconnected with yourself and get on the track to a sober way of living is not only going to help you, but help your family too.  Your daughter needs a mom that is going to be there for her 100%.  You have the opportunity to be able to get help in an inpatient setting and I say go for it. Many people can't do that. I explained to my daughter that I was sick and going away to get the help I needed to get better.  I won't lie, the recovery process for me has been quite the journey but one that I am glad that I took.

[dominosarah]

Yes you need inpatient!!!!  You will finally get a new lease on life......embrace that and when you get back we will all still be here!!!  Like i have said before.....YOU need to see what a great person you are.

[Madisonjsmom]

Well do i neeed inpatient or could i just find a good outpatient....am i trying to talk myself out of it..

[vinnysmommy]

Inpatient rehab teaches you about your disease and ways to help prevent relapse.  For me, the real recovery started after I got out.  You need a good after care plan. For me that has included outpatient therapy and lots of 12 step meetings.  Good luck to you on your road to recovery.  Becoming sober is one of the best things that have happened to me.  Clear headed now and being the mom that my daughter deserves! I am at 156 days clean today and it just keeps getting better.  You can do this:-)