I NEED ADVICE~IMPATIENT REHAB

[Madisonjsmom]

My family is taking me tomorrow.  I am scared.  I dont want to be away from my daughter!  Give me honest advie please.

[cathy5841]

well, you know i think it is the best thing theycan do for you.  you have struggled for a long time..it is time to give up the fight and get some help.  let me know how things are going before you leave..

[Madisonjsmom]

WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER?????

[Madisonjsmom]

What do i tell her???

[cathy5841]

i dont want to talk about that on here so i am on yahoo if you wanna talk to me...lol..i know i  have been hard on you but its just because i care.  if you dont want to talk to me on yahoo, i will pm you.

[dominosarah]

Of course you are scared.....that is only normal.  You will do just great and will come out of there with a new lease on life.  Your husband and daughter will be there for you every step of the way.........I am proud of you girl!!!  You are finally going to see what a great person you really are!!!!!!  We will be waiting for you when you get back!!!  Work hard and kick this in the a$$...........hugs to you          sara

[dominosarah]

Cathy........its called tough love!!!

[JENZ_N_RECOVERY]

hey sweetheart! i didnt even no that you were thinkin of goin! but let me just tell you....its guna be HARD......but i can also tell you that bein away from my son the couple weeks i was gone made me realize just how much i needed him and he needed me and he needed me to be clean! trust me hunny its gunna be hard but know that she will be there when you get home with open arms.....and proud of her mommie!!!   and i will be tooo!!!
~~~~HUGZ~~~~
jenz

[liscamdave]

I agree with Cathy!!! Honey, this is the BEST thing for you. I would have moved heaven and earth to have been able to go to an inpatient facility. I think everyone should do that as it gives you the proper tools to not only get clean, but stay clean. You are doing the best thing you can for both you and your daughter. Things will work out, you will see. We are all behind you.

Lisa

[kalie1979]

you are doing the best thing for your daughter by getting help. i do know how you feel, i have a 10 yr old girl, that i love dearly and if i had the money i would have already went to rehab. can you just tell your daughter that you are going out of town for a while. how old is she?

kalie

[refusingbondage]

How old is your daughter?  If you are stuggling so bad, then girl my advice is to GO and really take ADVANTAGE of this opportunity.  Use it, use it, use it.  Go into it with your head and heart open and really work their program.  What kind of rehab is it?  For how long are you going?  What I would personally tell my son (who is 12) is the truth - mom's not well and addicted to medication that I cant stop taking and that I need to go away for a bit to get better.  I would keep it simple and honest.  If your daughter is younger, you can change the wording (sugarcoat it a little) but keep it simple and honest.  One more thing --  make SURE she understands COMPLETELY that your not going to die or anything like that. Kids can come to that assumption pretty quick - so make sure she is reassured that you are OK but need some medical help to be 100%.  My son, at 12 got all worried about me when I first found MH cause I was on the computer a lot at home (which he is not use to) and he could see it was a 'medical site' and would ask me and I would always say 'mind your business' until one day he came to me and asked me straight out 'mom are you going to die -why are you always on a medical help site.'  Boy I felt like such a jer*k and explained a lot to him - which he completely absorbed and understood well.  Dont be afraid girl.  Just embrace it and remember - kids are more resilient than we think they are most of the time.  

[avisg]

You really do need to go into rehab .It is the best thing for you and in the end it will be the best thing for your daughter.All you have to do is say you are going to be going on a trip for a while and you will be back you will have opportunities to talk to her after you settle in  that you love her and will miss her.If she is little little it sounds like you have a great supportive family that will help take care of your child .It also sounds like this is your last chance you have said that your hubby is at the end of his rope .Your addiction is not worth losing your whole family over .This will be ok !!!

[Madisonjsmom]

Thank you so much, everyone.  My daughter is 7 and I am a stay at home mom.  She is so  so close to me..but I do have family that will keep her busy.  It is a dual diagnoses center that will work on my depression and my addiction....then i think to myself...I only take 35mg a day, I should be able to do this on my own..but maybe not.  It is St.Simons Island in Georgia...It is called Focus By The Sea, if anyone wants to google it and tell me what you think.  It is three hours away.  But, My family says that i need a break from my daily routine and this will be good to get away and concentrate on just me.  Wow that sounds scary..concentrating on just me...I havent done that for a long time.  The past few days I have had bad stomach achs, so i think i am going to tell my daughter that i need to go and have test done and see whats wrong with my tummy. It is for 14 days...Is that long enough for them to do everything?  What are these facilities like?

[Madisonjsmom]

will everyone stay close to me today and tonight...I am scared but know i have to do it.

[vinnysmommy]

Inpatient rehab teaches you about your disease and ways to help prevent relapse.  For me, the real recovery started after I got out.  You need a good after care plan. For me that has included outpatient therapy and lots of 12 step meetings.  Good luck to you on your road to recovery.  Becoming sober is one of the best things that have happened to me.  Clear headed now and being the mom that my daughter deserves! I am at 156 days clean today and it just keeps getting better.  You can do this:-)

[Madisonjsmom]

Well do i neeed inpatient or could i just find a good outpatient....am i trying to talk myself out of it..

[dominosarah]

Yes you need inpatient!!!!  You will finally get a new lease on life......embrace that and when you get back we will all still be here!!!  Like i have said before.....YOU need to see what a great person you are.

[vinnysmommy]

The inpatient is a good idea and then go with an outpatient program.  I fought tooth and nail about going to inpatient but it did turn out to be one of the best things that I could do for myself, and my family.  Yes, I do think you may be trying to talk yourself out of it. It is very scary to think about being away from your family.  You have to think of it like this:  a little bit of time away to help get yourself reconnected with yourself and get on the track to a sober way of living is not only going to help you, but help your family too.  Your daughter needs a mom that is going to be there for her 100%.  You have the opportunity to be able to get help in an inpatient setting and I say go for it. Many people can't do that. I explained to my daughter that I was sick and going away to get the help I needed to get better.  I won't lie, the recovery process for me has been quite the journey but one that I am glad that I took.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Tell your daughter the truth. You are sick and are being treated so you may be 100% well again. It will ultimately be to everyones advantage ........  it will be good to have you back in life and the world again.... just the way you are!!  Best of luck - - if they have computers, PM me - - - - all the best ......eagle

[troubleinohio]

you asked "what about my daughter"? "what do i tell my daughter"?.....think of THIS WAY instead..........what would your family have to tell your daughter if they find you dead someday of an overdose, or if you die of liver failure?  Know what i mean?  You are doing the best possible thing by going inpatient. Most people here didnt or don't have that opportunity available. But you are one of the lucky ones who CAN go, so please dont talk yourself out of it. Wishing you all the best...

[laurel453]

look at this the other way.

what kind of woman do you want your daughter to be ? she is not going to be a perfect one cause none of us is perfect. she gonna have problems to solve in life, she gonna fail sometimes as each other woman in this world but oh, madisonjsmom, if she stands up whenever she has a problem, held her head high and try to solve  it whatever the obstacle or the problem  with whatever the means needed, she is going to be a woman with no fear of living :)

and your are the person who has to teach her this way of being in life . what better way than showing to her this not only with words but with your acts ?

have no more fears. Because  at this time and at this space in your life, you are doing the best  to solve a problem: taking this bloody bull by the horns and showing you are the one controlling your life and this includes the problems you are having now.

don't think you are not doing the best for her, just the opposite. you are showing her the way to live life: without fear of ourselves so don't worry about what you gonna tell her, please, care about the good you gonna teach her and for her future with this decision.

good luck :)

[stilltrying1965]

You go for it girl you have tried everything else this must be worth a shot and yeh of course we will stay by your side .You can tell your 7year old daughter that your going to get your stomach problem sorted out I know you will miss her but in the long run its the best thing for you & your daughter we will pray for you & sending you love & strenthg good luck my friend James & Kim

[vikkimom]

Be sure and let your child know that it is not her fault (or any other family member) that you are leaving for a little while, and that you have a spiritual dis-ease there is a clear and effective treatment for. Or that you have some important biz to take care of and that it has nothing to do with her!! and that you will return!!!!      
The decision between outpatient and inpatient can be the different your success. If you have the opportunity to go to an inpatient treatment program and you have been assessed at that level by all means take the gift of recovery.
You might consider you and your child close while your under the influence but once your clean and sober your relationship will reach an entirely different level of closeness. One that is based in healthy spiritual contact. You are not yourself when your under the influence of substances and you are hindering your child's development through interactions with you when your under the influence. A sober mother is a gift and blessing for the child.

[avisg]

YES you need to go !!!! It will be a positive thing your daughter will be fine you have a good support system .She will be ok .She will miss you ,you will miss her but you  will make it threw.I think if you do outpatient there will still be the opinion to use getting you in a faculty for a few weeks where you can have extensive treatment for a while it will give you better footing when you get out had are exposed to drugs again

[gizzy32]

This will be doing the best thing not only for you but your entire family. It's for 14 days? That is not very long, but you will learn so much about yourself during that time. This is surrendering and I know you will come out with a clearer head and a different outlook. I am proud of you for doing this and want to wish you luck. You got all kinds of good advice here so hold your head high and I can't ***** and you no more, lol. This is the start of something special. Hugs.