I NEED HELP REALLY BAD!

[pain277]

Hello i just found this website today because i was reseaching. I discovered there are many people out there who have great advice and can relate to almost any porblem someone may have. I need help really bad so if any one can help i would love to hear it.

So hears my situation:

I am 16 years old and was diagnosed with clinical depression almost a year ago. Within the last couple months it has gotten to a point where i didnt know what to do anymore. AS a desperate attempt to get my mind off everything and get a high that would make me feel better i started stealing my mom's oxy codone 10 mg without her knowing. For about 2 or three weeks i took about 2 or 3 a day and snorted them because it made me feel so much better.

Now i've decided i wanted to stop and havent taken any for about 3 days. When i woke up this morning i literally felt worse than i have in my entire life and i didnt know why. Ive been having rank headaches that tylenol doesnt help, shivers, sweats, muscle pain, sleeplessness and i think its been making my depression worse.

I dont think i have the strength off mind to stop taking it cold turkey, especially if it makes me feel like this. The problem is i know of many ways to help me wean off of it but that would involve telling my mom and i know that if i did it would kill her inside. I'm really worried that if i dont stop taking it than i will become so addicted that i will never be able to stop.

I need to know if it is possible to wean off of it by taking less each day and eventually get to the point where i dont need it anymore with either no or very mild WD. If not is there any other way i can quit with little pain but not have to inform my mom on what ive been doing. I need help because this is getting unbearable and i dont know what to do anymore.

Thank you in advance and any kind of information would be greatly appreciated.

[Revann]

dude, i've been taking pain meds for 4 years. a couple weeks isnt much to get badly addicted. from my own personal experience, please stop taking them. you dont want to end up like me. you might think your withdrawals are really bad. but it only gets worse if you keep taking them. just stop... so i know if i dont make it out of this, i know that at least i helped 1 person.

[Some_life1976]

still thinking of you hun!! I just want to give you a big hug!!

[leeisgettingclean]

i hope this young man is still doing good. this really touchs my heart, i worry about this boy and really hope he is fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bmdad]

So how are you holding up? Are you still staying with the cold turkey route and succeeding? Either way, we are here to help! Just wondering how you have been doing over the last 24 hours. Each day gets better and better! Let us know!
Brian

[Cassie415]

Hey I am 19 and I started snorting oxycontin when I was about your age...around 17. But before that I was all into other drugs. This one is the worst though, only two weeks in and you can see how you are already experiencing wd's. You are smart to recognize it soo soon and try to stop. Definitly stick with your cold turkey, you can do this, it just takes some determination. I started at about the amount you take, only snorting oxycontin not codone, now about two years later I am still doing it snorting about 200mg, spending over 100 dollars a day, and constantly struggling with trying to get off of it and dealing WD's. It controls my life, most days I can't get out of bed unless I know i've got oxycontin, I am mean and rude to everyone I care about when I don't have the drug,  and I go to bed some nights after doing so much that I don't even think I'll wake up in the morning...definitly no way to live and I would hate to see it happen to you. I am trying again now and on day 3 right now and the WD's suck but keep in mind the life you are fighting for. I sympathize for you that you also have to deal with depression, i've only had to deal with depression when I come off of oxycontin but still it is the absolute worst. Do you take an Anti-Depressant or anything to help you with it?
I also haven't been able to tell my parents either and I have relapsed too many times and let this gone farther then I ever thought, but I haven't been able to tell them. If you can tell them then you really should. I bet your parents love you so much and would help you through it, and I can imagine how nice it would be to have your parent's support and love through this. They can help you get into a treatment, cousneling, or just be there for support when you need it. Keep posting on here and you will get amazing support. You can message me anytime if you want, i'd love to help. I hope you keep fighting through this and don't let it become any more then it is now!!

[Some_life1976]

I havent been able to get you off my mind today ! how ya doing hun?

[febninthgirl]

Hi honey you are to young to be doing this to yourself. I know from my own experience going though the teen age yrs I also was very depressed and not myself. Now looking back knowing what I know now a lot of it was my Hormones. I would stay quiting don't taper your self now you are almost there. After you start feeling better see a ob or your doc they will be able to really help you with the depression. Hang in there you'll almost though the worst. MY prayers r with you

[Lisa034]

OMG, sweetheart you are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you.  I am a mother of five children. Ages range from 2yrs-18yrs. Please tell your mom so she can help you.  And I mean help you with the problem that is the reason why you started getting high in the first place. I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. I would just be crushed if one of my kids came to me with this. But the love a mother feels is unlike any other. I would rush to the aide of my child. I would put my arms around them and say "I am here my love and we will do this together"  Please I beg of you please tell your mom.  I am sure she will be upset but she will be more upset if she finds out and you never told her. What ever you want to do.  It is up to you, regardless we are all here for you.  We will all help you in anyway we can. Keep posting and let us know how it goes.
You will be in my prayers
Lisa
Jacksonville,FL

[Some_life1976]

check your inbox hun

[pain277]

Thanks bmdad for the advice. What you said actually got through to me alot, as i was reading it i just felt like there was some kind of hope for me.

As for worried 878, i am not scared of being who i used to be, if anything i would die to be back to my old happy self. What i realised i didnt mention is that i have been taking them for the last two months but it was just the last few weeks where i started taking them every day. Before that i still took two or three but there was usually at least a one day break period in between. I guess that it is possible what im experiencing isnt exactly withdrawal symptoms and it could be just my mind thinking it is. However i have a highly addictive perdonality and i know how my body works so im almost certain it is.

What i think ive decided is that im gonna keep trying to go on how i am cold turkey without telling my mom about anything. However if i see my self taking them again, and the odd time might not do anything. But if i start taking them constantly again i know what i need to do. I dont want to die because i was to worried to talk to the people who could actually help me due to fear of judgement. So if it gets any worse than i will tell my mom... i'lll tell her everything and get professional help. This isnt worth losing my life over.

[worried878]

a 2-3 week habit is not usually sumpin to taper off of..and tapering for u involves stealing more pills from ur mom?? and what is ur goal right now?  u r at a mark where u will possibly have no physical wds to speak of...but those pills r there and u know it..depression will cause us to reach out for anything or way to feel BETTER!  so u need to tell ur mom...tho she will figure this out very soon

U r afraid?  but is sounds as if u r afraid of feeling like "YOU" again...perhaps not a true addiction but u were using the oxy as an anti-depressant..r u on an AD?  if u r it may not be the right one..u need to talk with ur dr and be honest..it will help him/her picking the right AD for u..keep us posted and remeber pills solve nttin in the long term..they only create more problems

[bmdad]

First off, congrats on recognizing your problem before you got yourself in real deep. You could taper but since you weren't taking that many daily and haven't been taking them for that long I would just continue the route you are on. If you are on day 3 you are so close to the downhill side of this. I know for me days 3 and 4 have always been the worst. After that each day got better and better. Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids, eating healthy, and exercising. I know it may feel impossible to exercise but force yourself even if it's just a short walk around the block. I noticed when I would exercise I wouldn't even feel the withdrawals while walking or jogging. Also, take hot baths for the chills even if you have to take 10 a day. You are pretty much gonna feel like you have a severe flu. So, I would continue with the cold turkey. If you ever find yourself back at them, tell your mom the truth so she can help. It might hurt her but it would hurt her more if something happened to you without her knowing and not being able to help. I lost my oldest sister to drug abuse and it haunts my parents everyday knowing that something could have been done. They wish she would have came to them for help. The love for a child is a different kind of love. Your Mom would do anything to help you. Just stay mentally strong and tell yourself every second that you will beat this. Just take it a day at a time. Come on here and post as often as you need. It really helps. You'll get so much wonderful advice from some of the most caring people in the world. Let us know what you decide to do, continue with the cold turkey or try tapering. If you decide to taper I can help you with a taper plan. But like I said, you are already 3 days in and that's pretty much halfway there. I say stick to the cold turkey. Best of luck!
Brian