I desperately need help with codeine addiction

[poetrybabe]

Hi there, Can anyone out there PLEASE help me ? I am a 33 year old woman and have been addicted to codeine 30/500 tablets for 15 years for chronic back ache. Over the past few years I have seen my life slide out of control but I need to change it now. I didn't realise there were other people like me out there. I feel as if I want to end it all now. I have tried to wean myself off the tablets gradually but it doesn't work so am now on first day of cold turkey. I relapsed once before but I can't do it this time as I am frightened I will die soon cos of my addiction. I know I face a hellish few days and am in tears as I write this. I am a worthless human being who has allowed myself to become addicted to a drug I genuinely didn't know was addictive. Can ANYONE out there please offer me some words of advice or motivation ? Has anyone out there beaten their own addiction to codeine ? I'd love to hear from you as I am in the bowels of hell at the moment. Thanks  Poetrybabe xxx

[poetrybabe]

Alex, I hope you get all you desire from life because your compassionate words are touching to the extreme. I was probably taking about 900mg of codeine a day for about 5 yrs. I almost killed myself on more than one occasion but then again I felt I had nothing to live for anyway. Knowing that you are going through the same thing actually gives me comfort - I know that sounds selfish, sorry - but I hope you are having a much easier time than I am. I tried to do this once before and failed miserably. This time I know I HAVE to do it. I've lost too much of my life already. I hope you contact me if EVER you need to chat about ANYTHING at all. The next few days are going to be so tough for us !!!

[poetrybabe]

It took me a long time to admit to being an addict but now I have I truly appreciate your kind thoughts and words of sheer brilliance ! I have to beat this I know that ! You are amazing !

[poetrybabe]

Thank you so much ! You will never know how much I appreciate your kind words and thoughts at the moment !

[poetrybabe]

Thank you thank you ! I am at work today - I'm a teacher - and have just read your posts. Were you made by angelic fingers ? Surely someone with a spirit so strong and illuminating was sent to earth by the powers that be to help those in dire need of help, like me. I'm finding today dificult and I have the galloping trotskis too but reading what you have written makes me realise that at the end of all this torture I might actually get myself one of those things called a life !

[alexandra fox]

I am on my first day of codeine detox, so I will be happy to keep you company with it all and share our expereinces, our feel-better ideas and just plain old support. I don't know how many you were on, that will affect to some extent how bad your w/d are - and you have been on them for quite a long time, so your body is probably well used to them. Have you had experience at w/d before? Are you familiar with the symptoms associated with it? Would love to hear more of your story.

Me - I have lost count how much I am on because the last couple of weeks my consumption has been variable, but at its peak 5 months ago I was takig up to 600mg codeine per day. I anticipate detox will s u k but frame of mind and firm decision to quit are both a big help. I have been using for about 2 -3 years, I truly don't remember exactly, tried half heartedly to quit but was pretending my problem was not so serious. Had prevoious recovery from heroin addiction so I can assure you that getting clean IS possible, and absolutley like everyone said, you are not worthless - you have a problem, the condition of addiction, that takes over your brain and runs the show.

So that is just a quick welcome - keep posting, I will keep my eye out for you, hope your detox is not too rough

Alex

[joe19]

I have not beaten mine, yet, but I can tell you this. We are, in a sense, responsible for our addictions, because we are the ones who took the pills. No one forced them down our throats. Having said that, you had legitimate back problems. You found relief from a living hell called PAIN. And in doing so changed your brain chemistry to need this drug. Although you took them willingly, you did not ask to become an addict. Like previous posters have said, none of us thought it would happen to us. And we blame ourselves and feel hopeless, helpless, worthless, and all of the other terrible things we say to ourselves. You CAN beat this. Many others here already have, and I'm on my way to joining them. Realizing you need help and that you ARE an addict is the first and most important step, because you cannot remedy a problem you don't think you have. So congratulate yourself! You are well on  your way to winning one of the toughest personal battles you will ever face!!!