I dont know what is going on?

[leann357]

I abuse opiates. I don't do them everyday, I can't afford it but like on the weekends I'll buy a few 10mg loratabs and take 2-4 at a time to get high. I want to know why I dont feel good, ever!!!!!??????? Even now when I do take the tabs, I still don't feel good. I feel like doing nothing. I have no energy, I don't care about hardly anything these days. Is it the drugs or do I have a real medical problem? Am I depressed? We seem to have no money for entertainment. I work, my husband works. We pay the bills and have almost nothing left. What we do have left I will spend on tabs(not all of it) But like I said even when I take my pills every few days or so, I just dont care anymore. My dog of 8 years died 3 weeks ago and I still cry about her everyday. I cry about things that ahven't even happened yet. I have no sex drive, I have cysts and my ovaries. I just never thought that at 45 years old I would be in this situation. No insurance to get the cysts removed. Does that affect my emotions? Don't get me wrong, sometimes, very rarely, I feel okay, not good but okay. What the hell is wrong with me???????

[leann357]

Thanks guys. Deep, deep, in my heart, I know you are all correct! I know tabs were not made for depression but i used them for that b/c I didn't worry about stuff as much when I had hydrocodone running thru my system.

[dunc874]

you cannot afford NOT to do something. I had no money when my addiction turned ugly, but i had friends who stepped up and one who appeared out of nowhere to help me get professional help. The fog created by usage lifted right away and the anxiety eased. depression is still here but it is not incapacitating;  i am able to handle other aspects of my life. get your head fixed first then you can attend to other things in your life : sex drive, your cysts, your entertainment. love and be loved, dunc874

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Even if it is the drugs that still is a medical problem. It sounds like you are stressed and depressed. And I am willing to bet that you should consider your relationship with the tabs as history. A lot of us started using the hydro as an antidepressant.......but they werent made for that and they arent good for it. Find something else to occupy yourself with besides the tabs and have a depression work up done. If you do need an anitdepressant it will make a huge difference within a couple weeks......... Do this now before you get any deeper into the tabs........

[leeisgettingclean]

daisy699 said it just right, i could not have said it better. It does sound to me as if you might be dealing with depression, but that even makes your addiction more dangerous, because as addicts when we are depressed we tend to wanna use. You need to quite the pills and work on the depression, good luck girl. I will be praying 4 u

[daisy699]

Hi Leann I'm sorry to hear that your feeling this way! Yes you very well could be depressed but I would gaurantee your addiction is starting to get you down the pills aren't working or doing what they used to for you and that's when addiction can turn VERY ugly that's when most addicts step up their addiction by taking more or turning to something stronger (that's what I did) be very careful! I would suggest going to a therapist be completely honest and get a professional opinion b4 u get any deeper into this!!!