I had a BAD night...

Question

Today is day 8 and if I would of had any vics last night, I would have taken them . MY son didn't take his Concerta yesterday and was acting out last night (one of my triggers) and i just kept crying and crying. He finally went to bed and I took a hot bath and went to bed too. Then all night I dreamed about getting some pills and just before I woke up one of my druggirls gave me 2 pills...i put them in my pocket (becuz you know the shame kicks in) and i was goign to "save" them til I REALLY needed them..and then i woke up... SO now I had these huge cravings this morning and my other drug girl (who i haven't talked to since oct.) called me and said she had some she needs to get rid of before she leaves on vacation this morning @ 11...I was so tempted...but i told her I'm 8 days clean( she quit in Oct. but obviously has started up again) and I'm not going back there...i just keep thinking about calling her back becuz I hate this emotional pain w/ my son ............GGRRRR

sheri0509 · Answer

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!! I HAVE A FRIEND WHO CALLS ME AND TELLS ME SHE HAS 140 500'S FOR $300.  ANOTHER ONE CALLS AND HAS 60 ES FOR $250.
IM NOT STRONG YET AND I GET THEM, I KEEP SOME, SELL SOME AND THEN THE CYCLE STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN.  WHEN I DO DECIDE TODAY IM FOLLOWING ORDERS I EITHER GET A PHONE CALL OR I CANT MOVE.  I CANT WIN!

mimi1313 · Answer

I'm so sorry you had a bad night. And I'm glad you're feeling a little better. The cravings will pass and you'll have better days. 

You've really helped me so stay strong, I know you can do this!!

PS- I just had a chocolate brownie and it kind of helped...

hopsing94 · Answer

Damn theres something for everyone in those cookies LOL

toxictome · Answer

these are called monster cookies...no flour...eggs, br. sugar, vanilla, soda,oatmeal ( 9 cups),raisins, sunflower seeds, choc. chips ,m+m's, peabut butter,etc....and they are sooo good!
I'll eat one for you!

but ya, I have found talking about it...no matter how stupid or insignificant it seems..if it's making me feel like popping a pill...I need to TALK about it....thanks.

hopsing94 · Answer

Music to my ears and a rumbling in my tummy. You sound much better already,see you know what to do. Your so right though and from now on I will do the same thing. If I get that feeling and think i'm gonna cave I'm gonna talk about it. Good job

p.s. I love oatmeal raisin cookies

toxictome · Answer

Those feelings....are almost as evil as the pills!!!

I remember when I stoppped drinking...i ws so strong willed..and i have never had another drink...but i remember that first yr.now....the cravings were crazy...then they started to subside and it didn't bother me anymore...I know I will get there with this addiction too...but it takes time. I just hate all these raw feelings in the beginning..(thinking out loud and telling others how i feel helps)....but I know it's all part of the process.

I think I will go work out in a little while and then come home and make cookies..feed those emotions w/ something healthier than pills...hehe

hopsing94 · Answer

You can do it. Right now only the people on here know about last weekend. If my daughter found out it would ruin everything i'm trying to prove to her right now. I wish I would of thought about that before I took those pills Saturday. I'm supposed to be setting the example right now. Stay strong,prove who's boss. Gawd I wish there was a way to stop those feelings, I know exactly what your feeling and its so hard but you can do it,you   can    do    it.

toxictome · Answer

I know it won't....that's what i am working on w/ the therapist.......I am so glad I was strong enough to say no.....but I just  have ZERO tolerance right now for his B.S.....

I need to step up and get over it...I am the adult and he is the "thinks he knows it all" kid...so I guess I need to act my part..and I KNOW the pills won't help in the long run...

I just felt so scattered this a.m.....but I am calming down a little.  Thanks

Hops....this too shall pass.....thanks for the support!   :)

duckandcover · Answer

Nothing... absolutly nothing positive will happen from taking another one of those pills.  Keeep going back to the basics.  Hot baths relaxation etc.. etc.. It DOES work.  Day 8 was a real turning point for me.  It DOES get better. 

Remember, every minute you feel this way is another minute that you won't have to feel this way.

IBKleen · Answer

Let me ask you this: Exactly how is it going to get better with your son if you pop some pills?

hopsing94 · Answer

Don't do it. Trust me the guilt feelings and the shame you will feel is horrible. It's worse than when you first quit to get this far. You will feel so much better if you don't. Find something to do quick so it can pass. Please don't,this is one of many tests your gonna have to deal with. You can do it,I know you can.