I had the most awful cravings today!

[LeaAnn807]

Hey everybody!  I had the most debilitating cravings today.  They seemed to go on forever!  I have not had any this bad since I got clean in March.  It was absolutely miserable.  I have had cravings before, lots of times, but they are usually over in about 30 minutes, and I am able to fight them off.  Not today.  It took everything I had in me to not use.  I don't really even know why it happened????  I have a lot going on but nothing that should have caused that.  THEN.....my internet went down and was out most of the day.  I was ready to be shot at that point!!!!! : )  

I went to a meeting, but I really didn't even want to do that.  I think all I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself and try to figure out why it was happening??? I don't know what good I thought that would do.  I'm just not used to feeling that kind of weakness.  I'm usually a tough one, but today I felt weak all over!  It lasted so long that now I can't even go to sleep and feel exhausted from it.  Like....it took a lot out of me physically and emotionally?  Does that make sense?  

So, if you guys can, please send some prayers up for me or good vibes or positive energy or whatever helps!!!  If today is any indication of what tomorrow will be like, I'm in serious trouble!!!!!

Thanks!  I'm so proud of all of you for fighting so hard with me to beat this!!! : )  

[LeaAnn807]

Sara, that means a lot to me!  I'm glad someone has confidence in me.  I sure don't right now.  I almost feel like it would have been easier to relapse today, at least from the aspect of "having it over with" and not dreading that feeling staying around for another day.  I don't think I can handle it again tomorrow.  BUT.....I know that I can in the end.  I'm usually just a really positive person, but for some reason, I am having really negative emotions about this.  Why would I assume that tomorrow will be as bad as today?  I'm not sure what is happening with me right now.  Uggghhhhh.....ANNOYING FEELING!  

I guess this has just not fallen apart yet, and maybe right now I'm afraid it's going to???  My sponsor is expecting a call from me in the morning.  She wanted me covered first thing in the morning in case I have a rough night!  

I guess we will see! : )

[LeaAnn807]

Thank you Mark and Suni!  Love to you both!  Thanks for the support right now and always when I need it!!

[dominosarah]

When these cravings come out like this is zaps us emotionally and just plain drains us.  Tomorrow is a new day tram and when you wake up and look around you will feel a whole lot better.  You will call your sponsor and give her the good news that you made it thru!!!  Wont that be a good feeling to start your day!!!

[laurel453]

yeah, you are afraid of the experience... but those are fears and fears are not facts, tram... you will pull through this....we all have confidence in you :) be sure of this and don't be scare now....build up your confidence again. The last huge cravings i had were on christmas .... i have spent months with anxiety and stress and just when i was feeling better zassss.....they came and went away and haven't had more .. so don't be scared now :)

[dominosarah]

Tram, i will be here as long as you need me to be......I am the forum "bat"!!!(probably in more ways than one!!!)

[gnarly_1]

LOL at you being a bat....you do keep some late hours