I just keep going back

[Courtney85]

Please someone tell me what I should do. I KNOW I want to get clean, I do. I am ready! But I have relapsed about 4 or 5 times now in a total of about 3 months. I get bored, or have pain and think I can go back. For one, I  have chronic back pain sense I was 15 I was in a terrible car accident and I have 2 bulging disks. Now all of a sudden both my hands are killing me as well, and at night my middle 3 fingers (both hands) are bending and popping and staying bent for about 5 min before they will move. My point is, how the hell do I get off the vics? I think I am going to have to resort to methadone or suboxone (sp?). I have klonopin for anxiety and b/p, and some valium and I am on cymbalta but I dont feel like its enough to keep me from wanting the relapse and not take anything for pain. I cant take ib profin cause it raises my b/p! UGH I am so frusterated. Please tell me your thoughts on my situation, and what route you think I should go. I really appreciate it. Thanks, Courtney

[cathy5841]

hi and welcome  to the forum.  most ppl haer find after a feww weeks off the meds their pain is much better.the body has a way of making you believe you have to have the meds to survive by creating more pain.  the addiction wants to be fed.  have you looked into some type of aftercare?  N/A or therapy would be good.  we have to learn why we are addicts and how to deal with our addict behaviors.  good luck and keep posting.

[gizzy32]

This is a choice your gonna have to make and a tough one. What is harder to deal with the pain or popping too many pills? Nobody deserves to suffer and it's not my place to say what is the better choice, i do not suffer from chronic pain so i don't know. Please look into suboxone before you decide, it comes with it's price too. If you really want to get off them and stay that way i would suggest getting some help, talk to your dr and find an alternative for the pain. Get some aftercare and support, it helps so much. Good luck and sorry your in pain:(

[KLM_81]

Hi honey. If you're in as much pain as you say you are, I think you shoudl look at things a little differently. I understand how badly you want to be free of opiates, but if you go that route you have the serious pain to deal with. And with that comes a serious chance of relapse. I wouldn't suggest suboxone in your case, because it really won't help with pain. I have been on it in the past, and it works great just for opiate addiction. But it has a cut-off level in the brain which makes very ineffective for pain. I am on methadone now (suboxone is REALLY expensive where I live), but I go to an addiction clinic. If I were you, I woulf talk to my doc about going to a pain specialist. I've heard that they really understand people wish to control their pain, but don't want to feel high all the time. It's possible that a pain clinic could put you on a low dose of methadone and work with you, until you reach a level that provides a happy medium between pain relief, and not feeling so doped up. Remember, I'm a well-educated recovering addict.......not a doctor. Be 100% honest with your doc, and he/she will help you find what's right for you. Best of luck!

[Bre333]

Hi,
It sounds like you may be experiencing a few things. First, I'd like to say I am NOT a medical professional, just offering some advice from thing/symptoms I've seen personally or heard personally. When you say you've experienced additional pains in your body that maybe you haven't had before, I immediately thought of what is called,'Opioid Induced Hyperalgesia' -a condition that is marked by someone having pain that is caused by taking opiates. Does that sound right? As far as getting off of the Vicodin, you know it will be a tough road, you just have to commit yourself to doing it. You CAN do it, It may take a while, but you CAN. As far as you relapsing, well, that's because you're body isn't producing enough endorphins quite yet and the residual opiates at your receptor cites cause you to physically crave the Vicodin.

I wish you the best of luck!