Ahhh...love! One of the most painful addictions I've ever had. At 16 I met "The love of my life" (like I knew ANYTHING about love or life at 16...!). I married him at 19--my bad. He was an abusive, controlling alcoholic heroin user who cheated on me and came home drunk regularly to beat me...and those were his good qualities! I was a teetotaler through my prison time with him as I figured one of us needed to be sober. By the age of 21, I had grown but he had not. He had already put me in the hospital when one night he put away bottle of Bacardi 151 and kicked me in the face. Today I still have a Teflon plate under my eye due to the orbital fracture. He was a blackout drunk and didn't even remember doing it and called my parents house the next day to find out where I was. I still stayed with his dead a$$ till the day he came home drunk for the last time, and I wasn't gonna take another beating. I bashed him over the head with a very large glass snail I had by the door as he came in, pushed him out the door and told him there was a Greyhound leaving for Colorado...be under it. Even with all that, I went through the crying jags, loneliness and even moments of wanting him back. It's hard to to give up on something you invested so much time and emotion on. I felt I had failed at something. But you know what? I got over the withdrawal period, and came out much stronger for it with valuable lessons learned. I knew what I wanted and came to a place that I understood I deserve to be loved, not treated as a stick of furniture or a punching bag. This man has pooped on you in your time of need...to the curb with him! Not worth wasting your gifts on. These controlling goofballs never change, and he'll only bring you down. I'm sure his hunny will kick him to the curb too because people like that cannot respect themselves enough to love or respect others. That is the foundation good relationships are built on...trust and respect. If you don't have those, you don't have love.

You MUST concentrate on your own strengths, and you MUST get the authorities involved if he is displaying threatening behavior. When this happened to me, domestic laws were very different as it was 1981. The police treated me with an attitude of "Oh it's OK, he'll be home when he sobers up", and left me with a pat on the head. Things have improved since then, and there is a no tolerance attitude today. Yes, for now, the pain will be immense, but you'll come through it a stronger person. I have been with my hubby since '83. He is a kind, thoughtful, wonderful person...the proverbial "nice guy". He treats me like a queen, and would go to the ends of the earth for me. There are plenty out there like him, but we often make the mistake of going with those bad boys who treat us like a bag of s**t, and overlook the real gems that are out there waiting to find someone to treat with love and respect. That would be YOU! For now you need to get through the pain, but there IS a light at the end. For myself, I am so glad I got out when I did because I honestly believe I would not be alive today if I hadn't swept the garbage out of my life. There is an old Janis Joplin tune titled "Bye bye baby" that became an empowering little ditty for me during that time. If you ever find a copy of it, give it a listen. Wishing you the best, and just know, this too shall pass.

Helpful - 0

sadinmichigan

You know...Why the h&ll AM I CRYIN"...?!!! You girls are right..I just think I'm crying more for what my kids are gonna have to deal with. he is a good dad to them...And I cried ALOT soo maybe it's out of the system for today..I don't know if i'm "perkie" LOL but I really like to have fun and laugh..I can be a smarta$$ w/the best of them..I need to "perk up" my kids think I'm crying about my gramma,. i need to pull it TOGETHER..thankyou ..I will be here allllllll night!!! We are supposed to get 8' of snow...YUCK!!!! I am so sick of cold a$$ winter..I also have to say this...I did get some wine coolers..didn't drink them yet..but it's not vodka. (right) (weak scared smile) love you xoxoxo

Helpful - 0

worried878

U r sounding a bit "perkier" this afternoon...that is a good thing i think! LOL

Helpful - 0

swtbreezie

Thanks! I thought I never would marry again BUT there is life after hubby 1's death after all! And a divorce is not much different the thing you can do in divorce is call him up and call him everything in the book for the way he treated you! I go and yell at him at the cemetary but I'm NOT sure he hears me lol he left me holding the bag and I am P^^^^^D! I NOW tell bill collectors to go to Hilcreast and knock on that door and see if they get paid! LOL SAD you HAND HIM THAT D^^N BAG! aNF TELL HIM IF HE DON'T LIKE IT LUMP IT!
hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
swtbreezie

Helpful - 0

sadinmichigan

Oh thankyou sweeet breezie..And you too mimi..I need to get a grip..crying on the phone w/Thelma LOL..My eyes are going to blow up!! I'm so sorry sweet sweet breezie..I know it could be worse..always can..I"m glad you have found happiness. Your words meant so much to me..Thankyou thankyou thankyou..Mimi..you are wonderful too and when Thelmas sick of my crying (JK thelma) i'll be hitting you up next..lol..thankyou ladies..you rock!!! and i love you
LISA

Helpful - 0