I really need it but scared what would u do??

Question

If u dont know my history.I had been getting xanax(6-8mg a day),lortab10's(4-6 a day but taking up to10-15a day when I quit),soma(2a day)finonal(3a day),cymbalta.About9months ago I started tapering xanax,8months ago I quit tabs,soma,c/t.The only thing I abused was the tabs but wanted2stop all the narcotics.I know have a script of my firanol60last3months now(tabs gave me severe headaches daily).Soma I just dropped out of principal that if I took them I would feel pains+take more tabs.
Here is my huge issue.Ive been seeing a therapist(along w/addiction specialist+group meetings too did support2not relapse etc).I have tried everything everyone Here suggested4 natural anxiety relief.Nothing is helping.Important getting worse+worse(cant go2the grocery store even avoided family n large groups through the holidays.Ive been diagnosed w/ptsd&GAD(w/therapy we uncovered some very traumatic issues throughout my growing up&it made it awful.My primary doc+therapist want me back on a benzo to help.I need something as months of therapy,coginitive/behavioral stuff hasnt helped Ive had3severe anxiety attacks n the last10days alone.I am starting2regret going2therapy because it made my anxiety through the roof.I never abused my xanax but there short acting(they both suggested them cause I was on them did years.What would u do n my situation?Also what aré longer acting,not so fuzzy n the brain benzos?I feel like I wont be able2deal w/therapy,all these issues w/o something to curb my anxiety so I can live,go around people.I need2get over/past all this trauma but I feel like Im a failure idea I go back on these.
On a brighter note I can now easily know+explain my triggers4why I was abusing opiates(which didnt start til the birth of my son).

overopiates · Answer

Im having a bad anxiety attack right now(I just let a xanax disolve under my tounge(so gross)Im panicking right now.Im sure I'll feel better soon.Right now Im just typing2take my mind off of it til the medicine kicks n.I wish someone was here2talk but Im sure u all r sleeping.I hope2have better news2tell u all tomorrow.

overopiates · Answer

Just wanted2say thank-you2everyone4ur support once again

overopiates · Answer

@laurel.Thank-you so much.If u dont mind Im gonna send U a PM explaining some of whats going on w/therapy.

laurel453 · Answer

you have already achieved a lot, sabrina :) ... you might still have to fight hard for some time but i am positive that you will do it... it is really scary opening all the cans of worms as you have called it, not all the people can do it so only by doing this, you have shown a lot of courage, my friend... it is normal that you are feeling terrible right now, i would think and you are so right saying that it would be nuts opening the can and not getting anything resolved so you know that you have to keep working with your therapist... facing our demons is the only way of controlling our anxiety but oh My, it really takes a lot of courage ... alll the work you are doing now it will pay off in the future, have faith on this... do as your therapist tells you to do, keep working on your thoughts and feelings and stuff... you will see the end of this tunnel too !!!

overopiates · Answer

Laurel what u said did help A LOT.I called my doctor(primary).I explained my concerns about just getting xanax because of how short acting they r but that they r the fastest to help w/sudden attacks.He is faxing n a small script of xanax only for sudden severe attacks+something for when I feel anxiety coming on and to take before my therapy sessions(he mentioned klonipin+valium so not sure which one).I told him I dont WANT benzos everyday so small scripts(I pay cash too no insurance so the cheaper the better).He is so great he said2call him if I realize I need more and he is calling my therapist2let her know so she doesnt have2worry about me ir me not coming2appointments.He told me she said Im doing great n therapy and feels it is absolutely necessary and will be incredibly benifcial2me n the long run so I cant stop going.I dont want to.It would b nuts2stop after opening all the cans of worms and not getting ANYTHING resolved

overopiates · Answer

Sry spell check on my phone makes me look like I cant spell he said Im the only patient he has had that got off all those meds voluntarily.He is thrilled Im taking so many less migraine pills than b4.I was taking90a month now it seems60 will last5-6months.

overopiates · Answer

Thank-you Vicki I will definitely ask.
Laurel u said exactly how I feel.PLEASE know Im fully aware of the physical+physcological addiction of benzos.I took them for almost7years(except while I was pregnant so more like6.I tapered+quit8months ago.I have no desire to take more than I would b prescibed+I never did.I wont take them except as absolutely needed now.Not everyday,not as a way2prevent anxiety only as a last resort and get off of them as soon as possible(I was a fool+did a taper w/o my doctors help last time I will do a proper taper my  doctor sets for me).He wasnt at all happy I did my taper before w/o telling him or quiting all those other meds c/t on my own although he is very proud I quit the opiates,soma etc.He said I was the only patient he has ever some that voluntarily n his30+yr career.He is thrilled Ive hard the same smaller script of migraine meds did4months now& still have. Almost1/2of them left.All he said was did me2b honest w/him and has said since day1he thought I truelly need something for anxiety.
Thank-you for ur advice and concern.

laurel453 · Answer

Oh, dear... i am sorry that you are feeling so bad....I would not stop the therapy and the work you are doing... maybe things get worse before going better but meanwhile all the suffering you are going through seems a lot, i don't want you this so i have to be honest and say that i would follow your doctor's suggestions... be careful with the kind of benzo, take whatever the med as long as you need it and no more. I know you know you have to be careful :)... I really hope i could help you better than saying this

vicki595 · Answer

Barbs and benzos do a bad dance!   Believe me...if you take one there's just no good reason to take the other with it...ask you doctor...

The benzos all work fairly quickly (from what I have learned in pharmocology and not by experience) and some are longer acting....again, ask your doctor what he/she thinks is best for YOU!

I need to scoot but feel better and good luck!

overopiates · Answer

Hey Vicki.thanks for the encouragement +understanding.Well my doctor who prescibes me the fironal never mentioned an interaction w/the2meds.Im gonna be honest I havent needed them except1time n the last12days(I took2).I have told him how much lessI take now.I have had60+this is month4of that bottle I still have about20.It seems that excedrin works4more+more of them the longer Im off all those other meds.WHAT R THE INTERACTIONS?Also whats the longest acting benzo?as I said they both said xanax4-2reasons because I took them before but also the the fastest acting when a panick attack comes on.I dont want2take them everyday like I used2ONLY WHEN I CANT CONTROL the anxiety

overopiates · Answer

Thank-you lulu.I got off the xanax and wow its the worst cause it takes SO Long.They both want me on something(a benzo)for a couple reasons1so I can have qaulity of life and2 so I can deal w/and get past these issues.I had an attack b4going2my last appointment cause all the stuff is so overwhelming.Thanks for understanding Im really suffering.It like I quit all this stuff,anxiety has bien bad tried all the stuff that works for u and100others too none helped and w/therapy its too much but I dont wanna quit therapy cause I need2deal with and get past it

vicki595 · Answer

When you're sick, you take medicine. I sure do when I'm sick. Therein lies the difference....when the benefits outweigh the risks...it's just as simple as that.

Me,personally,I'd take the medicine.  During my forever long taper off that badass Fioricet, I broke my leg. I'm not a hero. I took the pain meds A LOT and often. I am not a suffering fool for anyone!   It didn't hurt me a bit, I got better, did all the PT,starting running again, and did the last "run for the cure"!  

Quality of life should be important for all of us and we need to be comfortable to a degree...(lol)    Keep talking to your doctors and make a decision that you can live a bit better with...
But will you get rid of that Fioricet/Fiorinal?  It's a big bad combo with any benzo!

Good luck!

lulu747 · Answer

I'm sorry you're suffering so much anxiety and I do relate.  I don't know what to tell you except that benzos are notoriously difficult to come off of-especially if you have diagnosed anxiety disorders...What does your doctor/therapist say?  The things that help with my anxiety are yoga, meditation, cardio, hot baths and generally keeping moving...But I don't have an anxiety disorder-just whatever is left from detox and tapering off benzos (been on 2 yrs) for sleep.  I was very ambitious about my taper at first but I haven't been sleeping and just saw my doctor this morning and came up with a more realistic taper plan.  There are other benzos that aren't as short acting and give better relief....Again-take deep breaths and call your doctor....No sense in suffering and worrying it will only make things escalate.....Sending support...Lu