Need help/advice for sister's addiction

[tgfann]

My sister and her 2 kids (8 and 5) just moved in with us. On the 2nd day she was here my mother and I saw her take a big white pill and a small orange pill from 2 (serarate) prescription bottles. We asked her what they were and she told us Motrin, 600 mg, for headaches. We knew she was lying. And she would never tell us what the orange pill was, she kept changing the subject.

A few minutes later she fell asleep on the couch so I went in her purse and took 1 of each pill and took them to Walgreen's pharmacy. The pharmacist told me that the white one was methocarbamol and the orange one is Xanax.

We've known she's had a problem for almost 3 years now, but we didn't know what it was and when questioned she would never admit to anything. She's 35 years old so there wasn't a whole lot we could do. Until now ...

When we found out what the pills were we confronted her about them she freaked out on us ... screaming that we hate her and we're out to get her, etc. Then she finally calmed down and admitted to us that she's been on Xanax since May of 2006 (since she lost her husband to cancer).

She says she's trying to ween herself off of it but I don't think she can. After doing a little research on the web it seems like she would need to go to some sort of rehab for this. But there's no way in hell that she'll go for that. So what else can we do?

I mean, she's so out of it everyday, she sleeps constantly ... even while talking on the phone or sitting at the table having a conversation. She even fell asleep doing the dishes the other day. I hate to think how her kids were treated before she came here because she doesn't care for them at all. My mother and I feed them, bath them, everything. We couldn't even wake my sister up earlier tonight to dye Easter eggs with the kids. We tried to but she screamed at us, What the F**K, I was sound asleep!. She also has an 18 year old son who moved in with me in January because he wants nothing to do with her because of this.

I have her whole family here, caring for the kids, feeding them, cleaning up after them. I just don't know what to do. Before they came here my house was quiet and clean and friendly ... now it's loud and messy and she is always arguing with someone.

I understand she has a problem and I want to help her but if she won't help herself, what am I supposed to do? She's 35 years old.

[Addicted2Pain]

Have an intervention. Go to A&E's website for more info.

[jamiemarie33]

One more thing I can reccomend is dont inable her. If you just let her get away with what she is doing, she wont stop. Why should she? She can sleep all day, pass her responsibilities (kids) onto you. She's got it made. I know its hard, probably one of the hardest things to do, but you need to let her know she has to get up, take care of her kids, contribute to the household or there will be consequences for her actions. Right now she is being selfish. Thinking of herself only. I know she has been through alot, with the passing of her husband, but you have to let her know how this is affecting you and her kids. They have been through alot too and dont deserve to not have their mom around either.
I wish you and your family luck,
Take care,
Jamie

[scaredmom330]

Mary has just about told you everything there is to do, just remember your family is a victim of her addiction as much as she is. no one starts out thinking they want or will get addicted to a drug, it just happens. Stay on line, more advise will come, but the bottom line is it has to be her choice to become clean. Try the Alanon meetings, it will help you understand, take care, my prayers are with you.

[allaboutmary]

Unfortunately your correct.......If she doesn't want to get clean there's not much you can do.  Although she is living under your roof and you are caring for her children, you can demand she contribute to the household. Two things I want to recommend......1  never let her go cold turkey off the xanax. All benzo's must be tapered off of.  2    try and get to an Ala-non meeting. They can give you some great advise on how to deal with your situation.  Keep reading and posting on here. It will help a lot also.